我站在門前許久，才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUbq6cocXd
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZjPFe1bJ7
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqautPTl8Qd
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBjDnzgt1X
「請問，這是英傑的家嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI4FkOHMK9
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHGwfThyUX
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUMew94AiM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY9lpOjx99
「妳是…？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaqDd1tHtS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqLReZEg0J
「我是英傑的朋友，因為我一直聯絡不到他，所以…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwu1NwyjHvB
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHksSaLJsUz
「妳找錯間了，這裡沒這個人！」她揮揮手，避開我的眼神。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcLL591TzP
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UsddAdGPi
「我知道他被通緝！」在她準備關上裡面的木門前，我急著大喊。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV93DTSGeqF
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0QD7bhJtr
婦人停下動作，又把木門拉開了些。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W6S4HqykC
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrs2qHfYqj
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面，可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDRgvoFjZm
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlSBSnJ42M
「妳是他女朋友？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jjLrITebm
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iyDcWNqIE
「不是，我不是，我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrophgkoCG
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUFdalYiLM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYCktJkwl4
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbaEzvMP8H
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsE0YGjRHc4
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著，語氣平淡得不可思議。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgiRdGw7IJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZ6Nsu4Qi4
我一時語塞，沒能回話。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0luBHtZlVY
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkAEPOjzJv
「讓妳跑一趟，歹勢，英傑不在這裡，我也不知道他在哪裡。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qbChXITx9
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbXUeSORE3
「那個…那，我可以留下我的手機，如果他有跟你們聯絡，請他跟我聯絡好嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvitB7jNUIQ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYUOlQ0IcW
婦人一臉不耐煩，我很尷尬，但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門，交到婦人手裡。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXNpEmT6J0
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjuGF4Sr90
「小姐貴姓？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1xCyMzukT
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGbaQ1nTSt
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI14U3B0cT
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVEl4oD5fx
「………」婦人突然噤了聲，透過鐵門盯著我。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamObPMWxz0
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSiq4fy7HU
「糟。」我心想。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHAAR79yrT
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHM8ney3my
她隨即關上木門。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLz6QE5rIG
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC1SOPWGaD
「她知道我是誰了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HSbVSxT0q
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhVhNKJ7kD
我當下便明白，不管英傑有沒有回到這裡，我都無法得知了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7kZotbQ7J
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9w5eBUkjI
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvjEoVnva4
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPJTnwu0GU
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEs9BSt4Xx
我不敢換手機號碼，睡覺時也不關機，就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbtG14ePU4
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqxnuFowIl
就這樣升上了高中二年級，376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQX2y3kqjf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwnSO5df0V
迎來了人生的轉折。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjIFKIB9LI
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkE04MumS0
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3WL3bqkYY
父母親早在我國小時就已離異，但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開，便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大，幾乎是要什麼有什麼，生性霸道且極端任性，父親一生風流，基於愧疚或父愛，總寵著我，比起成天碎碎念的母親，我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzTzPYNPRi
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0jPAbyNy3
在高二那一年，父親生意失利，經營的公司惡性倒閉，再加上「賭」及「面子」，父親找上了地下錢莊。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOs2XN2DUH
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTRpXvA2jL
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx39XWhGUHE
當我放學回家，看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼，我還沒能反應過來。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXwm9qnpER
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mpnMPZpG5
「都已經離婚了，為什麼還這樣拖累我！」
母親氣得哭了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DMCT5r9bf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYE9rdkWRK
某天晚上，母親進來房間，告訴我，房子要賣掉了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYI57bW4ZY
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFVDaZbD6K
他們離婚後，所買的房子仍是共有財產，父親要把房子賣掉，才能償還債務。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK18vOOaaOS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRIbzdwvzj
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重，跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家，就因為你，所以我的家就要這樣沒了！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEZbGQu6Yi
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjOIltcURY
「那妳要我死是不是！」爸爸第一次吼我。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Wv6ERrRmE
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQ2TzL4vvz
「我沒錢，地下錢莊說要砍我手腳，我讓他砍是不是！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2KpGmPC9H
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmvZSncdbT
我嚇到了，沒能反駁。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIQE2F5nL1
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDnqXoTHjc
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友，那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的，所以他要搬出去，妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡，不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOszKV6QCl6
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ijg00mO3e
我沒說話，看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親，便逕自走回房間。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygV6aI58IS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfw5AbvR3i
回到房間，想起國小五年級那天，母親到安親班接我和弟弟，把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了，妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權，弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳，妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開，所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7QK7qs5ba
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74RpwWlHHB
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsPG8XzYNg
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKuWyJgCq2
我不能接受的，其實是家的破碎。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jiMDiavM6
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscOelw1tcc
因為一直都住在一起，所以沒有分離的感覺。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oBhhccit5
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGy9kI0PmO
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子，他弟弟出生後，就被虐待又被冷落，所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後，完全沒有再過問他們的生活，也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviLK3ifzf9
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GIeTGpoC0
「妳不要管我，反正我的監護權又不是妳！」
「是妳自己不要我的！」
某次和母親吵架，我說了這樣的話，害母親哭了整晚。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLctszYIGRK
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMdwWJgXZA
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMSJoVWHKt
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1fv1S902Z
「小姐貴姓？」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神，帶了驚訝及恨意。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3ejFZ4hqf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6eWBnZopA
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運，其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳，妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字，看起來多麼傷心。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BsYReGwwU
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNquIt8gNVj
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTZ3CUqEe6
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12QFfXSuyJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHnSnSFiDI
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOXjJBWZyB
媽媽睡了之後，我走到客廳，父親盯著電視，卻兩眼無神。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeYVLLmC0t
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7GcFbwb6V
「爸爸。」我喊他。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHym50vbiw
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgic2Db2nP
父親抬頭看我。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPtqtPX1dx
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdcCazRSd0
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUlW5OA6FI
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkvOoAcj2e
「我不知道。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1c3z65Q4m
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtS41if0Dsx
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRcNS1TvDa
「我和你一起搬走。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDT5mcCgTY
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7PRXR86dE
我說出這句話的時候，爸爸一臉驚訝。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLotUc3onre
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL4EHOMN9t
「真的嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtz05SVNvH
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIz4Dqrwu7Y
「嗯。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkhiJ7wsCu
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtaD47cC3P
「…好啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qxaCBI3iJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nRLKer65o
「那我去睡了，爸爸晚安。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Iqo5f9o00
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM04AveSHq
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRUMm23OsX
那時，我只想著，父親一旦離開了，我可能再也見不到他。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkj53vsoPpJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI019PFAxq
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親，他仍是我的父親，從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAmOY1NOe3
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrm8DxRoRd
隔天，我便自己出門找房子。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuhRMw5R6Z
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGdDI7Nca8
母親雖然擔心又不捨，但沒能阻止我的任性與固執，就還是陪著我找房子。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p4hvw3gQX
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6sEpRL9bG
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處，因為我當時尚未成年，還是請父親來和房東簽合約，之後，我自己忙搬家，請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙，把所有的家具都搬到新住處。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EPTHhanDC
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOD0UJVKi1
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiMRvfe9WB
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非，我們搬家後沒多久，又有新的債主找上門。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVwD57eSR9
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgRl2MMFbK
那天，黑兔子（忘記她的人請往前看系列文）趁著假日到家裡玩，我們在房間聊天，父親在客廳看電視。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeueDdO1tX
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM7ZxWTswV
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候，有人按電鈴。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoXmNJzA6G
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbMRX73eSB
按了好幾聲，父親卻不去應門。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaKcdaWihJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTm4kr9cX4
我走到客廳，看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面，示意我不要出聲。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARX7wCCnyN
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHRTM1vyao
對方按了幾下電鈴，便開始撞門，接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcBvOXa3Km
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjGNN2fcdT
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到，悄聲問我怎麼回事，我覺得很丟臉，但還是告訴她，門外的是父親的債主，我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧，才會待在門外不走。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBNXRq227B
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14pol1aWRQ
直到傍晚，我才戰戰兢兢的開門，送黑兔子到公車站搭車。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSov8gu5ky
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9FNi02Usb
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiLuSSYyA2
那年發生的事情非常地多，我喜歡上了一個學長，但他卻用各種不同的方式，在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3z7TfvskY
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzRCeCMOO6
但那是另一個故事了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFyxPyTLsR
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfFjLC4107
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSmqMTA4e4
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1bZsiVz0S
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptp9ZIECn0
我就讀的學校是私立職校，學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢，付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeywuOoGxtC
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtc4DKQieB4
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口，像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4P7rGemnN
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F7sFjXwOq
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯，但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心，又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVZS4hgt16
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTlgCVlAhN
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLxcyh0dIg
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡，我很常想起英傑。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszGSwOrJ0Q
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFktxVeiHq
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRK1cZ0KMk6
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LQoSE1kK2
難道逃出台灣了嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3oYCoKN1i
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt021PzQEfY
難道…真的死了嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIRIrdU8jM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfgFwt2iA4
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EdxJLieWO
一天晚上，我帶著傷痕回家，在家門前，我把運動外套拉起，確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門，想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOitNzxOuk
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTFFzFPaul
但父親不在家。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9kPwKmHj1
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW0zYUxMw0
撥了父親的電話，聽見那邊的麻將聲。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA0VA80MJs
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOd1MxdCu0
我對父親大吼，卻被掛電話。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPJXghb9dg
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo4fHjKmKW
那一刻，我想著自己所做的一切。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfI3hST9nV
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgpTmMO76K
「都是自己選的。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6i1FjNVxC
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hHdySJpp1
「沒人逼妳，都是妳自己選的。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q5NFK6ddi
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc9W1KCtFQ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmKtTAQQI2
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte44hFj59U
「乾脆，去死好了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoisGAYkWe
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1SUyzjaPb
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyJdFpZZ9i
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8vpo9RKUv
待續。
ns 15.158.61.41da2
