事情要回到幾個月前。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3Onlcy8FW
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISgpZwz11D
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHdQFLVtmH
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiMAWv9V9f
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxDLkQWzwE
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09W5BfaMF1
「幹嘛道歉？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZepWzxK2I8
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRD9vnWdAI
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tfGGIQH4O
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU2tp5gEfW
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjdtiPO96y
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycCuFwQhEZ
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67x7H8ub6P
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUwE4WwFSi
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr71Bgl50b
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXbttPUbpU
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Gh3BPZPea
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2HX5tB5Wf
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXkfZVO6vJ
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCMTpaQkgW
「不是。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RAHErudlX
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcAOd1ahu2
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKhFwvtDaV
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPGWXIJsdn
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMwA9rpelA
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCgzCha5cB
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLepA6cgo8b
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlExYY885Ex
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Is447QJan
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGilJd1BzBc
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb5TedtU4e
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVzCLLFuhf
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4FGm00FvD
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEbjQjBT8C
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuN7GrJZvx
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw0M0XVkYj
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiYAvSeqBh
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIYncBYPWB
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb1oNcVvIz
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IXCACgrFM
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2LTMraNQ9
「我信任妳。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrhA2crmAV
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn25dkNZ2VR
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIq2Eni13o
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hvmvibDJR
「妳應該不是。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxhuksmEiV
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BDbSW3H9C
「這麼有信心？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdldYk7boz
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLYsKEv0FV
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhwdTjnbls
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvOYHXllBu
「嗯？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3B0D2aKid
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD6hurI906
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12YzzU2Jnk
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjSgjyLo5y
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekxI59w8Ll
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BSQLzJeAK
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9agVlF1C5K
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM8oKRPNug
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWpHf4RfPG
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG7KrsHgT7
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGZOGxpax2
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2As0R26oMN
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIZNGK2Yek
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6JHD6NRzJ
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUTZwsyrP9
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6LzTuNIGO
「哈哈哈。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnbZOFrwC4
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxOGa4mHH5
「哈哈。」343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2O0gtKelu
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PeKToEMww
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGpewAIMLn
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fn32sAK66
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bDNU6M7Wu
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NtflkmAQy
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCHnQn5DgO
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx93vWPKpu2
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkVaA6HV1M
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEHeWj6RGH
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAogEtoFVS
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgs6xLHvYc
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoLYtojSwl
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeiAYPvPUl
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UeNGPQPfC
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenKCGDZ29h
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCObsUbZJK1
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQi4PEwNKR
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pCeP8a0qY
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoTFJeoy9G
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uZrkBN0Ir
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkKm4tDNrG
接著，換左腳。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXcmU2Qe5g
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLeeVdMdVp
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5aw6ckLHj
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv00ww87Ebc
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWgsUumLAG
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlzGvU6DHa
「頭抬起來。」我說。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLwsoiUq6v
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZV0tgNUv9
命令的語氣。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EDVo3vKbk
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXlMGijLpG
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboRf7KoN96
343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdee0Lume7
待續。343Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPTvS3CneS
