事情要回到幾個月前。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡght66oSSPN
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcEs9MAP82
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2gQ6m6QcI
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKReL0Axola
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXCLwUx24p
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxA45moy9Bd
「幹嘛道歉？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw89tbmiCoe
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUCYBxxXuG
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSI5LGytmF
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKFZSN7Rhh
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke0FvdvMM6
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oQKX3E5rU
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxfl4krdz1
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRxtU5kdsA
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpE4FRcCul
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ3RH0YeRJ
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIHvwOpoNz
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHOGjP2pPT
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgx3vdxFe7
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVVLyr8URD
「不是。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQJNNTzO3F
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHksDkg9qE
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvfqjSR74p
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnxeqV3Xh1
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl0cQE75Qd
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTBhmXIRoL
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFP3gNQ2dg
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmx5UofsMTK
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz1sHVBJwc
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WkPFO3K7P
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGk4IGr0SZ
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfX7u5RFFl
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoRRUoTV9v
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3dCJjt5Ir
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddnUtk3ysO
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk45u9GskZ
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPEiH2Lwia
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE711s3jvWP
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsGGQqD4SQ
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeje2FoWTa
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQr0kgkhTKJ
「我信任妳。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xg3O7yZad
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELBPaw4IrE
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXipbKQ3OQ2
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyIgpB64iC
「妳應該不是。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQd0I5S9yo
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFZ38j09VQ
「這麼有信心？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vIOUOwmov
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5BJfUpeLK
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYm2W5rjXw
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGU8tFqY9Am
「嗯？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCEx97XZ4O
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRKrIIOFFy
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7Lt7HJxFO
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ968nMzL6mA
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEn2qqNJuV
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcgdUASiRE
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWcfvkPBbW
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI8Qlxoty9
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTGVo0QLAg
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XBoi9hvLz
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM1aC2BcHC
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQxhmMk2vJ
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBLRKzmfag
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIWjv1tGbr
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SslIwFov9
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpR3g9LM7vb
「哈哈哈。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQHjlU0LHq
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrJkgCDFSL
「哈哈。」355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVdtiIjmZb
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjnvFEvDmH
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHtpaBYAYI
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbin590TRFm
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcg5hj7v10t
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfbDVT30gb
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xFZl0EcxK
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTDX2pNezh
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FDq53u0DU
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oj0pAIshC
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5FcEaR4Hd
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfyiMIrXK5
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgSrhK6gKi
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDIFXcfOVZ
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFfvvUIUtL
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBEFsXFBqH
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz9Heb5wwt
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyXyoWoLb0
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i9aQvMtz7
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4RQbcVGt6
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxD7EN2B2W
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuKVCbds4U
接著，換左腳。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ndHihJuAy
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwrL8jMSzE
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrfDsLurZQ
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuTZkoE4vT
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXSvdv0Tgc
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzVEF7UxGC
「頭抬起來。」我說。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVNDIjoBZq
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBoLvzDJ43
命令的語氣。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mza1nSf7O
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDoharckYf
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2cAd4n1Lg
355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMxVSNdfAN
待續。355Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl7arMU5xE
