尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC7RxfMmZj
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhajZlgNlF
「妳瘋了嗎？」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwLS4bi2Yn
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6PkhpVDLk
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPsj5rhpyO
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmfFtkRDxa
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxe0ZZqOgT
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6YPXichNv
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj83GU3Zf4
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCUQB06lG8
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmH1laofXP
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMmMLUnx7d
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6w2H4TSX8
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4q2VeONJb
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW1mUCJunj
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsbzpaPYjg
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud1TnqFS2W
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRF1TajD4Z
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyohKG2TDn
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTQG8VRudt
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQZz4FUDJw
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ud1qTj3RS
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiue38UvlEP
站在樹下的人是英傑。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLnvB7TFPb
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcCpRryNqt
我跑向他，勾住他的手。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVYnikl9Ms
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1NtYQj93D
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6FXufdmY2
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLJ9bdwtLP
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFDE9RMeoL
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXBw84MLyW
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQF85iv3jp
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgcV3UoIpB
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHPdiRv5HB
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9qcLo93LS
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSsLsiEVVy
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTnULykjnV
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJWHGRIxfb
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WCkgBWxEF
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoasHL0SckQ
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIRgGpubQb
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEWTMUsKRW
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8alvDJY3c
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiJ472bfC9
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TfriYhADp
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX9oPiGI0h
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsclKwbIGjL
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVl5ybRkdB
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AHLEuNaT5
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcM7duUMqb
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdUAJ2YZvu
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1jCR409NZ
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WVnqAA0UX
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwN8crXVX3L
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCmwlTOVE7
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0o8z9AJmwb
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEaTHsaV3q
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEpc3ppbPn
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mHV3omotS
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUdgmgUmS3
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfatYCl9bx
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1hMohzaTF
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0kQv7AVmV
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnr2TsZMpH6
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNZG2FYuHW
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wayORe5rE
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ0ElqqQf0
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t6MtUHoKu
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7xnqpOPmn
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOu79tcKuz9
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNp3QXNq6I
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoUHSJCbv4
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6n3ne87kh
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy58jjRSUW
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Hjhu1P5EO
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwSMPGLSQw
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgLxhmYVZu
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5bAFyxPME
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGapfL9D0M
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiZ4PlGDvN
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR23SJLxzZ
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aFtILvB7J
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzz8DZtlvD
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HuE25IpGP
在電視裡面。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTi9ekRFa2W
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakTKl6vjWT
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡha5StYwWeR
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXP25Y0yChN
待續。
ns 15.158.61.20da2
