尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXQz6kNxwg
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbnmBVkiJf
「妳瘋了嗎？」454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUcBH5P5bD
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWcNm2IN3g
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam0PbMc5E2
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawDhuHhEHd
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMA27RxJRh
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKF3kWPKgW
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkJkZqxxQk
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu6U9akG8w
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW6B5B179W
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmghOuOlZU
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY74UU19vS8
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxStBRTqai
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76XrnsWEm8
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTswMqYGQg
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIka5INjq6
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKbm1ZJhio
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsvT7r62GW
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIdHqfAVwu
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLNFgSSNhf
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zsTrZ7s4v
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBzGIFrp9m
站在樹下的人是英傑。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdujNNeCVe2
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8ebUp4qGc
我跑向他，勾住他的手。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbcy1veC6y
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo1sJKzmFm
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl4CWqCni1
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWnAhprDDI
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJvDh1A1zz
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIscwbLjV3Q
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx4qty0lPd
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUX0aFeqpqe
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeO6GEvwua
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOOivogCZc
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjsSy1rEX5
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjh2DzhdcQ
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3x45fuv94
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpNMuGYr56
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LlkNY11zf
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMiqrAndwq
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJbESYP95T
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRW1jK93ec
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8c92olKRi
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ecKquRwA7
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4M0KvD9Un
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfb04CO50x
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwf7STrHEK
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4xuVCMRXk
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIm7mJJc1N
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKjdV7dNjj
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZavGWER5fe
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI09akwpKeb
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHt6Ze3YqBe
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Tx9kzHZ3T
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXL4qUmO73
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX9FFwgw8s
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpAd47g8k7
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV20mK1yXN2
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH6zvEy9rC
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUxOVxV6VU
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqshuFzqLz
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEV98JClWBx
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDaYlkpKHF
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEXIF0zFIJ
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGlhhXXDvD
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqNrqNx1i0
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kyRTQ6VBh
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hG0AuoxZ7
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkEon1GRLN
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdkDWurOXs
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUk5iLUKfs
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlk37fkPwc
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoi1cYj1ME
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93OMBjZY7n
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1aQ9pTeKe
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgdblnAyt0
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPe4fX448ws
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EO2dyqdEv
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe464F80KAb
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lOSL0eNBv
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOtV8jkvUt
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ851WOVnjry
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODTjoJEkcR
在電視裡面。454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHtG3MuYaL
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlILZ0KqHiO
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E5VlaR6aX
454Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMc9mAG6XM
待續。
ns 15.158.61.11da2
