日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJBFIByQvw
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH9yKEfW0t
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVxuTDqJgK
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqrkNLIh7v
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq4HN17cBB
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEyXtywFCk
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZr4qIwTMz
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIcLYHPTz0
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PXZhEjhuR
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9frFA0AHoo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3Sulrcaup
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpN4JsrUBY
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1CYABZ0Jg
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAbcLUcRfq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK6iZbpk3G
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW02w27bxnf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmV9XLIO4o
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYNOIrjx7C
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM02qXnTVt
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym8IcpsbKw
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKb0gambIV
「我哪知道。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswwMLF06u3
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ885oq0vxAk
「……說的也是。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASh5dj7PHV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Me83G2aRH
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykHrWHDHsG
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPcIQNikkM
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaXvSv6KKF
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejspJFdMHP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡongEvcb8Bl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH3ketstuI
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSl9okaDRLW
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYkot78v3I
無法灑脫。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVjjhFN7KV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJzcC9zaWS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhFeX0l92U
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnJBd91ZB8
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kc7Gc9Lqq
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLn1VuUr7G
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuxTUQHQqg
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6uKOEeDuf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBh4MPejQAl
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP7XKfSfcg
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkRtA4ETTd
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIwChhYDcK
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Yh9J4SP0J
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqFPqzuIZl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdneYSDUhzH
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvNmOjK9uA
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2fKBUKWlg
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIb29OHGNp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSS8zs1Nat
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAKqIXuliI
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JMTY4nYSm
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYh9qLx7ax
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs82C7HGyVu
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6njkRKgX87
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAn90iPmL3
「嗯。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun7x7w1173
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69vouaJmy6
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnwYKA1svP
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIeGAKjxs1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXkQn1e2GS
我還不明白。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2s3UjiOwRo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uCSR4cs3T
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmY4VlbtHk
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPvhBZ4l0P
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oUHqael2k
「……沒有。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD7LNPcfca
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HqSjRmklD
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVfBM163h5
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkqcMxGDch
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJlUJ3ZMME
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OHWoFGFbm
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmPz29Az9m
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmznjmox19d
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eQhygWxeN
「妳沒必要忘記。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJtCa5xK3K
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JLXTrRyDe
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCSP2qu7RP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XgDAHXmNB
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWxFHic9wO
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJseFvzbIF
後來。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59S6ZX7hgI
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTknmx5EYMy
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GqDPPEvaB
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAa8Ii1mOJ
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvD2ZlRQyJq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3lM7UySkv
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonmp6FcGVx
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrBNcOpN2T
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGUch0Pxiq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlrdnTuWVQ
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp81m9T30Ot
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5J6PtWWWM
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgah6Y0TmS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD8cEaTNZG
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTWg24N6N4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrMzv9jcJu
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRK4xNkWKM
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2NNxgD33s
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6e6FUXbxz
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfPzWvSmRj
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gD46M8ThV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzFYw150mM
完。
ns 15.158.61.11da2
