日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKZ4q67ISB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1hs582WZ5
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3M50blCoR
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolR81Uab9s
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn95EWrWCPH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkjAoM6WrT
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspV9zJ0udc
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnPLzMhjPM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlLDv5NFzr
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy33J7WDXR
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3CrnM0LEJ
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlvR0XcUEe
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHdgbH9Co0
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllgEKBQdPw
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88ZjRfIblf
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTFb1lVWRu
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9dJ5KzwCV
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy42Ia9eddS
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSnjDrXdcJ
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFFDP3LUNU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbsFAqgbNB
「我哪知道。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrVhafWSi4
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wrS02Mdfm
「……說的也是。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS27Pieasc9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhEYKfqMo2
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kxhXmqZqI
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH1NIi1Y6i
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2glWgMdLZZ
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAoN77dCV5
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB5W4gt4Mh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUA6PPeRZx
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AZp3moGsB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoL3DX5G9i
無法灑脫。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStvljC2hT8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8e0DWY1rPm
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuIO07tfpx
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRQLSycqsX
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qmNpX3H1s
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhsJAXj267
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1L0IctpQ1
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoS7wj2wLd
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSPKpjgPb7
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr8LmBN9zv
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoa8JnBvaB
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpacy4jW5e
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHUn9zvl0B
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVr0n08slHS
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFVUuxqeQ1
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtokawKvQKp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBXkxJj1tB
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk4KtRi7Vj
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8FGUAhF0P
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1kqdoLTvv
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOl4CcWTwGJ
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ljsGCs0DP
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVICFog3BZo
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFp5CWDjY3
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡechVmicGyU
「嗯。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX5ie9a5zD
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvlzcZBjGw
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwAF0iKZA6
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5gsICYjHI
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzfLAb2B1J
我還不明白。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUk0IpD9UxQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44EvlPLZaB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwGIf7s0OT
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NIdmrVfY9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qmOrSl8Ss
「……沒有。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5m45n6nELa
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JVIn7b3KJ
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayi6FBZjeK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfMAf04C3S
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wmKoQWcsR
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nwBHs9Iy6
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcB41yIMj7
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhr13H7eFXD
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4HbO6pauv
「妳沒必要忘記。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUMhxYYwen
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5m1nt6P24n
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7huvn0jsh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Zkq2gAkxs
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4FiSyS99d
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9GsMVcQt4
後來。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeSt3BfPti
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY93Bnvy2YM
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1cjKj7nZx
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAqPl6GGdE
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxbcIF6W8S
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzjj51CCHO
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYleJsH14zM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ibAqRyhhk
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXFpNTlZbk
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTaUoSwIyd
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO7yN0qqTQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIAfncI9D6
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZts2xdzXQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzPb37HV55
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmDkFPTcG8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgylQe7NcKL
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBKamB6K1S
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe73Fh1jdl
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFDHPFUjwB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZaRuSA40T
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdV0YgAe0W
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLmtymj3NV
完。
ns 15.158.61.20da2
