尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGzFu4qVho
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXnC66T7Q4
「妳瘋了嗎？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPyD1LNv8k
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHm5HSdROk
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cA23S2P8g
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiRQfaJlVN
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd6mT8b42Q
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFndqOXlxz1
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxtjcunBNK
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0W34SaQKp
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yBBpWaclu
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2ucDL34h9
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtgey7tr2Y
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpYdTJVOHz
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQx2u0N1xG
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44oNCdF3Qp
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapihhVq5dA
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVz8CImu2W
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF3VX66CjM
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq19SaBHZ8G
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsumlAwRwT
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOlB4auqax
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk83MuyAOo
站在樹下的人是英傑。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMflRsW8eyW
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7u8CQrCTeB
我跑向他，勾住他的手。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyfNLiBZ8E
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTszHKXLemu
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgMHxiPj8M
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYyPk5J0QW
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8XtSGbFd4
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpho9FhjG2
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpx0gGVnQc0
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKHBfwlA6N
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68zeW7RKnX
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooo6M1NzKE
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCXUTN01iP
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUg3ldynzk
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDNfU0rBTC
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuETkz4JeW
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CQAvpkt6q
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKEweVXY98
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cfQM1Rd8Z
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLar7VB2Brf
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy810kDrRa
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLfYfvWzsB
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGTik5WS24
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVduSAQ8U2E
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6LhURuApR
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR3Kc4UgMT
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzitJwsR7j
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKzyZ0YHFr
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEPkT9gJpu
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsX1xUVbhzG
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh4lJeTdwv
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPq102PRFV
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbHdp2wTK4
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QJoLP5Xi6
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOAtByq6KF
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXVxs1LUDX
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHtFzm0x6H
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNLydlGOkP
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DoFCaJL7Q
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0jFeVfiun
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUDIARxTqN
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBSJhYNCru
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSR2r8org9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uPOO4eu3z
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5WFONvmAO
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVov895RPq2
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYxGRZBPzv
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSxtYDLErS
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzv1wtqhuLh
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR4fXK9daK
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx80qsS7nP
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTAwjrxisr
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYhbCsrjul
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IYZu1wLhb
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73Y83qa6Ft
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqJiBPPIrH
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M6GL5JJXE
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpfqnk3rpM
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx4QD0ILnW
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD2Dfg8KS8
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4a70pBLF1
在電視裡面。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TZBDwQ9Og
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3C3JG1fZb
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9P92TlLJiV
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4evPUKSYA
待續。
ns 15.158.61.13da2
