又是一陣沉默，然後妍妍轉頭看著我問道：「呀遊。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOK7jnULwo
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBzJcmrxZw
「…係？」我回答。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGcaOX21wS
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEir4IJM8N5
「你覺得PTGF係做Ｄ咩？」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ggcFS1SXu
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p7vj0h2WJ
PDGF，是Part Time Girl Friend簡寫，老實說不是甚麼新興東西，以往的名字有很多，援交，出租女友，兼職女友，爸爸活，Sugar Daddy之類…當然，仔細劃分用字定義還是能分出差異的，但…842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0TEO9PoCe
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rpDdoss0g
「因金錢利益與男性發生關係」，這點應該不會錯。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqaIAy8wjp
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGan62fRckG
妍妍看著海說：「嗯，可以咁講…雖然有Ｄ女仔堅持唔上床，只係行街睇戲食飯拖手之類，但係…」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvdfTnKln2
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUU8Jr6JR53
我等著她最後那句。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6apLc6Ar9Z
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhL4NAZCqb
「…我唔係個種。」妍妍說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA99YTCvar
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDKuhHYbNC
「嗯，我聽緊。」我說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcs5AL24KH
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP3VwXVpuj
她看看我，似乎發現我表情眼神沒甚麼變化後似乎放鬆了一點：「我仲以為你會介意添。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oKH8XzfiB
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY3AjOemhX
我失笑：「我又唔係你邊個，有咩好介意？」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogZiTftafc
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIum5egYooX
「即係如果我同你親密Ｄ既你就會介意？」她反問。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltp2tsMSCd
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZMHEqx2Lm
「我唔回答假設性問題。」我擺出官腔，因為我真的不知道。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMOF11n75w
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTR9X9mFP9
妍妍喝一口啤酒：「不過都唔係每個男仔我都會同佢做…普通都係遊下車河，去船P，食飯個Ｄ，如果真係岩Feel同信得過既先會做。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9F7XU8hog
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ8PSqy5ek
「咁…」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HxnGvUeZJ
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nLvFCf2bd
感覺我說甚麼也會錯。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcJZYDal4b
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmOn3bbvkF
「之前我咪問你關於Deep-World，黑PR既事…我都係係客身上聽返黎，有錢人就有呢Ｄ門路，總之，我係想搵黑PR黎對付我唯一既個個EX 。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxc4NGHBW8o
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLYwOIU9sa
妍妍說過她是A1，即是現在單身，但曾拍過一次拖。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSfGInahlT
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaloWd4oBoX
「嗯，你講過。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjSklsYR9I
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMBkQfCMJH
「但我估唔到你會記住。」她說，「估唔到你會記到童桐以外既事啊？」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsJEX24LqH
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcmaZgXxvP
「咪笑我啦。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs56seK9ku
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ1vyZNAIr
她笑了。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5GmDRjbpf
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4zHhmMmex
「尋日係好日，佢就係尋日結婚…」妍妍看著漆黑的海說，「終於都完，感覺就好似發左場夢咁。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQuXZkSqG1
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9CSBw7Mvo
「係好夢定惡夢？」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUQy1CmHhh
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTlSgFvoRd
「…同現實比，係好夢。」她說，「同個時我地打算過既將來比，係惡夢。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlP7NBYfHNS
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBXJyXtNg6
我仔細咀嚼這一句當中的含意。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuvJi3itqQ
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVZQt8z4Zp
「曾經我同你一樣啊，呀遊。」她說，「曾經我都將一個人視為全宇宙，視為我既一切，我既世界就係圍住佢轉。過去，現在，未來，都因佢而起，因佢而存在，亦因佢而有寄望。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBZwBuFA2Z
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMl19WpTyn
雖然我猜到了個大概，但我決定沉默。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvHzEa1CAI
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNp2M92kLd
有時候甚麼也不回應，只是陪伴，就是最好的回應。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4MjJyXoMe
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kvT9onVNt
「我係你身上，就好似睇到曾經既自己咁。」妍妍說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1UKvO0JG8
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFApPiNsWtU
然後，她把頭靠到我的肩膊上。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ0nwdDWEx
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgQVqbTQlP
「仲相信愛情，只為左一個人而活，全心，全靈，為左自己鐘意既人博盡全力去爭取，連對手係植嵐晨咁既級數既人都繼續前進。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KXMFEWbFJ
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGgcND3tk8
她一頭棕髮沿我胸膛傾瀉而下，撲鼻而來的是她頭髮的香氣夾雜海水咸味。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFPHiEAX2e
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZSBSMhdNt
妍妍深呼吸，然後嘆了一口氣：「唉，但…依加已經完晒，其實早就應該完，當年就應該完，係我一直放佢唔低，直到佢尋日婚都結埋…我先知道一直走唔出去既人係我，亦…只有我一個。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mJHPMs9xa
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtDlXvfRGv
在之前我也想像過童桐結婚而新郎不是我的畫面。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RX6i4QuM2
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGY5r7pVDR
在之後，我連想像的勇氣也沒有。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnvC5IeDlR
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggklJIkscb
那是信仰的崩潰，世界的崩潰。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyVNbQxnDL
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4bzlpxxBI
萬物的崩潰。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S0Li3CD5H
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8mCAlj093
「所以你分手之後做PTGF…係因為…」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qRbitICza
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmYmI4GsNJ
「我以為佢會在意。」妍妍自嘲地冷笑，「至少以為佢會嬲，佢會話我污糟之類，但係…佢根本完全唔在意，我試過自己上網唱佢，佢都係理都唔理，本身至少想佢憎我，如果可以，我想佢至少憎我一世。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrdljgYZkq
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihcr95735O
妍妍說著說著，眼淚便靜靜的淌下。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBWvj2Cye0
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPxgZc3Vt0
「點解…點解連憎我一世都唔可以？」妍妍哽咽地說，哭著的她全身在發抖。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJqEywx7IO
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshMk7VtV3H
愛的反面不是憎恨。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewV9t1SEnE
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K03arYigm
愛的反面是徹底的無視和冷漠。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1TnSfG5CD
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv4fPjNMvM
不知道是不是她已經習慣了這表情，竟然連抹也不打算抹，恍如連自己也要放棄自己一樣。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWSNZ6dvJI
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGhHoZqS9H
這光景，我看過。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu4ehI01hM
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SOP8Mig8P
我在曾經的自己身上看過。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtOnU5IIeB
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6KZpkBKTC
「你唔應該咁對自己。」我掏出紙巾輕印她的眼淚，「始終要放下。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kfXckcuTD
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2m2UpW2GW
「我知，但我做唔到。」把頭枕在我肩上的妍妍說，「等於我叫你放下童桐一樣。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHvkjMV05o
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvyMPGPOYQ
「無可能。」我搖頭。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZICDu17F2
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS2OV2wFzv
「嗯，無可能。」她點頭。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2eM582UWQ
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqaAxjQxOV
她繼續說：「一開始我只係咁自暴自棄，後來…我就覺得無所謂，點都無所謂，同唔同既男仔去玩，去蒲，做咩都好…我已經無所謂，過得一日就一日，反正又有錢收。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAqAyxWNuW
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbsJ8uuGNX
她打了個哆嗦，然後說：「既然唔知做咩好，咁樣就做咩都得。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K4YrNPCUn
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ignwQfOwF
失去人生目標的滋味，我倒還記憶猶新，大約幾小時前吧。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEdx2Og9H7
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8vgaELuXb
而且再往前回溯，在中學畢業後的暑假我也是這樣，唯一等待的就是自己慢慢在角落腐爛，做任何事也只是因本能而行動，也不記得今天是星期幾，幾月幾日，因為沒有需要。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeSILpr1RM
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡET53uYWXq8
甚麼也再沒需要了。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr77ua66e0S
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhIgZ9Oun1
妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHfFWEcBna
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnQsnGKrow
我也在妍妍身上看到曾經的自己。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEhorQtgJi
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohKRaKWe0y
我把自己那時的頹然喪志和妍妍說了個大概，她同樣地靜靜的聽著，而且聽著聽著她把自己雙腳抱住，似乎好像聽到甚麼不願意回想起的事一樣。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEexHb8QMuL
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8sU1h4ds7
話畢。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh4vAKfO1g
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnc1Jo18rD
妍妍閉上眼思考了一會兒，然後開口說：「睇黎我黎搵你呻係正確既選擇。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gV6bANfqV
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJDHypyJrN
「你想既，幾時都可以。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTHC9r4nBS
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5jEGzAHib
她沉默了片刻。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcanDqmbgC
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDL7ytlysmZ
「咁你個時點走出去？」她問我。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPio7s064R
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbi6odUJDB
「一黎童桐唔俾我繼續摺落去喇。」我說，「二黎就係射返箭，射箭個時個人會好專心，射中靶會好有成功感，漸漸就走左出黎。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEy6HJ0b5B
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3BtaKDPka
「無興趣。」她微笑說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64lIZt0mEq
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMR4kur4j4
「…咁點解個時你唔搵我？至少我可以好似童桐拖我出房咁樣幫你，我地細個都一齊玩過，我唔會唔理你。」我說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmSmuscq1h
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUu1PZ6keu
「個時我都未搵返你。我地細個個時又無Facebook IG呢Ｄ。」妍妍說，「係去到情聖係TG Group臨時要女仔同你去街，我先知個個係你。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeySykSGZFj
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cBJMdEKmV
「係咪…好失望？」我苦笑，「搞到要搵PTGF………雖，雖然係用黎激童桐啦，我本身都無諗住要搵PTGF，一日都係情聖自把自為，未未未未等到30歲轉生做魔法師囉…」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6OC4V54gp
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN7ifvympP
我說到了後半句才發現自己的發言何等窩囊，馬上手忙腳亂地想修正，但是似乎愈描愈黑。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdZXZ3hxoI
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK4qlqVcSp
「好啦，唔使解釋。」妍妍被我的慌張樣子逗笑，「你真係除左射箭咩都唔識架喎。」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkonQINqfB8
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOcELQsqqk
「連你都咁講，嗚…」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTIF7uArWX
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXhCpCoBNw
「咁樣先係你既賣點。」妍妍輕撫我被海風吹亂的頭髮說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosEz3Svutw
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSZjEEYMs8
同樣是看到我使出全力追求童桐，情聖在我身上看到自己沒有之物並覺得耀眼，而妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己並覺得懷念。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOBVlGkD0l
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1s4qdYZfQ
我完全不覺我自己會為任何人帶來啟發，但似乎他們不這樣認為。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1dwCgz578
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aythYu005
「咁你以後有咩打算？既然個個人已經連婚都結埋。」我說。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrdq4Yzy61
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0yVHsvfxI
「……我唔知。」妍妍看著海的雙眼變得空洞，不過她還把頭靠在我肩上，我很有信心她沒有任何投海的念頭。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiM18Cyf7r
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilxSTXPE5m
然後她開口問：「你呢，如果最後童桐都係唔同你一齊，你又有咩打算？」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FdTZ1AdHq
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSDz5xV7lf
「……我唔知。」我給出和妍妍一模一樣的答案。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEs6zjTGf3
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6nSnnz4Xx
看來我真的沒有鼓勵人的天分，但畢竟我也自身難保嘛。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC08gKmUuaN
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDiB64cKmr
「……」842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRQxu6dDYz
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBBGKUJSYR
兩個不知還可以怎樣辦的人，就這樣互相倚靠在一起，坐在海邊喝著廉價的啤酒，吹著因暑氣而帶點異味的海風。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0NKhFAsWi
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEame2Ia46
不是甚麼事也能憑決心，憑努力去改寫的。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8BDmd05PE
842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGfkhsrfAk
夏天，也到尾聲了。842Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxzBcmhebV
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