事情要回到幾個月前。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIU3R7abB8C
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcL6kwMzhW
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFd9KhJeLa
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjFp0jaSMb
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NzJ1CcnUb
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfibcMPeCWa
「幹嘛道歉？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbor9TLyCQC
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlshaGE43fI
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZboAjobSqw
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2jW1m4ng2
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58mbM6y6Co
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBMrKWhEzI
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESwm0EJJjX
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8WoT42F0T
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rpkGb817x
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bORAeOASd
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwzJrDIEBi
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zPgpF54mN
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBldBZghMDY
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAzggHkIS0
「不是。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr11hA7RMO
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZUJJVuydw
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR13gtScoa8
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgm1Jam9TI
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rKQrsI04R
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwatprwvNmu
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDEdxYibda
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tTQFnyD9S
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuhsrVD6e1
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25pDuT80eo
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0tRtfOCKa
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnY01vevY4
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lt0lit5x9
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ikPLiygVN
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOe2wiJOTeo
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJzf8GSvjL
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyhbuqHHJV
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo3W5D0t8C
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkoZuzBVhd
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUJUbLWRF6
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71HXl49e2s
「我信任妳。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKzXBYfyri
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQaM8uxmsk
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbotb62UPC
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TWuPRIPyn
「妳應該不是。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7fal4PeSk
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIHWq3ODZc
「這麼有信心？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdsqZXgYHr
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ModDhHlaQ
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnvCCp1dCO
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFhZ86CcBx
「嗯？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiunlHZEyXM
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEtEIyUlWZ
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIzIyITtjO
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqBvy4gPjJ
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGQWw8mUmT
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktXM76NMYk
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6UJeRJC2c
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zzfaNKXjd
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXYoXLrta7
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3esL6Z39G
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKe4qz5B5m
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHDK2Y6M1q
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjyk4pTgzB
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsL2kZrEnDf
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrFcS8YZ97
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Gc9URkIeF
「哈哈哈。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ75vdXb4tT
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadEfwrKtlH
「哈哈。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsGeyruWHe
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxkIXITwyG
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYCcBBPqyL
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMQ1SmNSrp
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjE5W2uHtvj
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOzaVqPWPs
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjXFPvAvZy
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDm9ziPCDt
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYou7ZQDBil
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnswmBGit18
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2hVC1EG18
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaYlfY8grG
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPwcH57olq
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0O74kX9NK
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kCeD6uGc9
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRxl4d3dBh
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNjyGx1eYC
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbuxiW5d24
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDO6xUCDlT
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnANL377Xij
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFyZyw4r3v
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc72eFZs23q
接著，換左腳。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup2YmPTkWH
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8lpCnA7Ne
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS22BPRuRbt
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTGrztPecW
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQG1LeKlCg
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSbcVjNGaa
「頭抬起來。」我說。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlFZ8NP9zo
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83t0RKvbb6
命令的語氣。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB2QSjWfxf
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM4OBPiUqB
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb02RP6uA6
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWn7S0votG
待續。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rjyzAJlBu
