尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeI6Mug8ZG
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkUVbw11UX
「妳瘋了嗎？」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aadDXS6Bd
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV839GM3jF4
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGuLoOAv8w
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjUuXF19YU
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTT1zDD6DAx
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFcWuVLfMU
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtIHLyGwN2
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbmyQjTr2h
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOlkmG1yhE
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1Ow6AjGUn
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjom89bDT6
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HK84yezvT
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBBPiiFmMQ
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY28YDoAHx
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7UcpsXVTb
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJl3XaBsSl
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhmHGxgXpF
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivzWeoy1pi
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6amUXRYOb
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa1HQgo0Ij
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikqJTB0Sk4
站在樹下的人是英傑。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2sh8lHP0E
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ9wpooy5w
我跑向他，勾住他的手。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvPsCxE15e
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoWLgVbY5S
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQbekUzmVP
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZ51fpQtcU
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPtyBtogFA
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4YQcdXp3M
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz2i5ZbolQ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbGa2yS0gE
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Lo3C9ZwOg
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG35F3QiCw7
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjybFwceAP
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvC3UAnCcM
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYOMwk8c8p
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRKPm4BUqS
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyWipyHHUf
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xLy9PV4VT
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTYTOkZaqm
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaePCP2Ni0b
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pk58ax3lP
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4WreI6XaG
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSqnwWotyi
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGWd0STRIN
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgtjDUY7sD
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCA7HepVdy
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HVceedGBi
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zzCSqsRDI
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4rxl2GnuW
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5Ed6fwnVv
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1t2gn6uWzp
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIhkDxMihG
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qREXb2wOM
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w1wFKW9F6
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwST7TVLu3
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5E5QXX85w
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8jwcXXcGs
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMxyydHGfB
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1NHi8htMF
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgIjxVulL7
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlyslAWC2N
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSc9CGAEyD
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfKCrfgIDU
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq7ETVylCg
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzedZLPre0J
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFkdjJpd8L
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9RZfNZ9os
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQi3HdkUcK
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8F7AxuDYU
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZGEjBcjEC
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4SatfoH4U
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsag4xcGIL5
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ931Oi3KX8n
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTjStYV3E9
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ocpAWJvHd
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yD3wmkvkX
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5RWdkEdcV
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck68JQkIJ6
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGaErMj2Su
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBDxMSdI9O
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qfslLygD0
在電視裡面。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7NFTSp0n2
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwWcHamnyw
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqfFZJCNSv
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtQ6jx1NhE
待續。
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