又是一陣沉默，然後妍妍轉頭看著我問道：「呀遊。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNUZpWmNne
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOBvXT2MLR
「…係？」我回答。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBLLTWIheq
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUHFpGiFZq
「你覺得PTGF係做Ｄ咩？」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF18rjbtpO
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjtcvdJnwY
PDGF，是Part Time Girl Friend簡寫，老實說不是甚麼新興東西，以往的名字有很多，援交，出租女友，兼職女友，爸爸活，Sugar Daddy之類…當然，仔細劃分用字定義還是能分出差異的，但…921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJg9RiaOoY
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgm9Oi8ado
「因金錢利益與男性發生關係」，這點應該不會錯。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuyEexrcv3
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGIt8TnRd2
妍妍看著海說：「嗯，可以咁講…雖然有Ｄ女仔堅持唔上床，只係行街睇戲食飯拖手之類，但係…」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dwvAcTEh9
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZcqkK7DrS
我等著她最後那句。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUftLT24cF
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObaCFfJYqk
「…我唔係個種。」妍妍說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSd9JNcPzW
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJlv5TGomj
「嗯，我聽緊。」我說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxItWzA49D
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnld7A29IV
她看看我，似乎發現我表情眼神沒甚麼變化後似乎放鬆了一點：「我仲以為你會介意添。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWoZmVxIuZ
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSfz71WwYH
我失笑：「我又唔係你邊個，有咩好介意？」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsgDPgqvMf
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNvUelkH9F
「即係如果我同你親密Ｄ既你就會介意？」她反問。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowbn1MXJp8
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqmbnMITIP
「我唔回答假設性問題。」我擺出官腔，因為我真的不知道。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl0nKiinph
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSasUJOPHdL
妍妍喝一口啤酒：「不過都唔係每個男仔我都會同佢做…普通都係遊下車河，去船P，食飯個Ｄ，如果真係岩Feel同信得過既先會做。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNnf3dJ4kD
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLUvmDN2Hk
「咁…」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxu5M1wL2k
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR6iXjwu5R
感覺我說甚麼也會錯。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hoPPARpEn
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4BaNKK24H
「之前我咪問你關於Deep-World，黑PR既事…我都係係客身上聽返黎，有錢人就有呢Ｄ門路，總之，我係想搵黑PR黎對付我唯一既個個EX 。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUp6H5Az4o
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlBavEAkc4
妍妍說過她是A1，即是現在單身，但曾拍過一次拖。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhv4XIxmvNE
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51K1RKjYyv
「嗯，你講過。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xyufTJup4
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33LzN9xMEf
「但我估唔到你會記住。」她說，「估唔到你會記到童桐以外既事啊？」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSJXnEeMhN
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeDAFMtqq8
「咪笑我啦。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUpg5owKKf
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡos1ZYUOraj
她笑了。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQrYsl9Dlh
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7ScuTiUWC
「尋日係好日，佢就係尋日結婚…」妍妍看著漆黑的海說，「終於都完，感覺就好似發左場夢咁。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrKUdDivsS
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwFU07Nfgw
「係好夢定惡夢？」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mQ25PP2jP
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDVpDj6qVw
「…同現實比，係好夢。」她說，「同個時我地打算過既將來比，係惡夢。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQX3mQbWKw
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrjR0tY9NK
我仔細咀嚼這一句當中的含意。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDTbc6PGQj
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljZGGWPd1M
「曾經我同你一樣啊，呀遊。」她說，「曾經我都將一個人視為全宇宙，視為我既一切，我既世界就係圍住佢轉。過去，現在，未來，都因佢而起，因佢而存在，亦因佢而有寄望。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAXrEgPsxO
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnf3UhR2YcF
雖然我猜到了個大概，但我決定沉默。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhWYk3CGhb
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUJNmIx8VI
有時候甚麼也不回應，只是陪伴，就是最好的回應。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXgs16nhMR
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhi4Donibi
「我係你身上，就好似睇到曾經既自己咁。」妍妍說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZlXmLph4J
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZi4ty4Lav
然後，她把頭靠到我的肩膊上。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclDKAG7D9y
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JE9ngXsLe
「仲相信愛情，只為左一個人而活，全心，全靈，為左自己鐘意既人博盡全力去爭取，連對手係植嵐晨咁既級數既人都繼續前進。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78t5CGM5qX
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISFEHH5waK
她一頭棕髮沿我胸膛傾瀉而下，撲鼻而來的是她頭髮的香氣夾雜海水咸味。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdkvnJnLQT
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eNXN6vPzO
妍妍深呼吸，然後嘆了一口氣：「唉，但…依加已經完晒，其實早就應該完，當年就應該完，係我一直放佢唔低，直到佢尋日婚都結埋…我先知道一直走唔出去既人係我，亦…只有我一個。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOcixu1Cus
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XftbL5oq0
在之前我也想像過童桐結婚而新郎不是我的畫面。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCRWZGOgTg
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoROEX4poB
在之後，我連想像的勇氣也沒有。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPrPvCrFZ9
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZQs7BijdW
那是信仰的崩潰，世界的崩潰。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpne30cAj1N
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ830fDS3Erx
萬物的崩潰。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkikHvXnfXo
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRhsqjJcHN
「所以你分手之後做PTGF…係因為…」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvkuUrYsGg
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWI190vTXh
「我以為佢會在意。」妍妍自嘲地冷笑，「至少以為佢會嬲，佢會話我污糟之類，但係…佢根本完全唔在意，我試過自己上網唱佢，佢都係理都唔理，本身至少想佢憎我，如果可以，我想佢至少憎我一世。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNPVZSaLzr
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHj5Htpy0K
妍妍說著說著，眼淚便靜靜的淌下。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3tvECYPht
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtePLcamwWz
「點解…點解連憎我一世都唔可以？」妍妍哽咽地說，哭著的她全身在發抖。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡti0wBfT2F3
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLUJaSaQVX
愛的反面不是憎恨。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QIPA5YYGi
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T7PE89tx0
愛的反面是徹底的無視和冷漠。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWbMjwdiKL
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnZTc54NSO
不知道是不是她已經習慣了這表情，竟然連抹也不打算抹，恍如連自己也要放棄自己一樣。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv2z6A3FzX
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMbFILbqBr
這光景，我看過。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk6FluTmNl
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqXTWJzwcr
我在曾經的自己身上看過。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfglP3MNZD
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc26iKJz5I
「你唔應該咁對自己。」我掏出紙巾輕印她的眼淚，「始終要放下。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFI9OHFmxfW
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5zQqgTlup
「我知，但我做唔到。」把頭枕在我肩上的妍妍說，「等於我叫你放下童桐一樣。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMlLnLR2e8
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvE067BTkfa
「無可能。」我搖頭。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfrRtSJ1TF
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjoRgpZgTi
「嗯，無可能。」她點頭。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswtvB6yAsl
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95ii82hEvE
她繼續說：「一開始我只係咁自暴自棄，後來…我就覺得無所謂，點都無所謂，同唔同既男仔去玩，去蒲，做咩都好…我已經無所謂，過得一日就一日，反正又有錢收。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5XlUtwdoR
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJt9K2qCnj
她打了個哆嗦，然後說：「既然唔知做咩好，咁樣就做咩都得。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxsU9ad1ko
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7vftyFmFi
失去人生目標的滋味，我倒還記憶猶新，大約幾小時前吧。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXqlkEoWNs
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXr83aE32BB
而且再往前回溯，在中學畢業後的暑假我也是這樣，唯一等待的就是自己慢慢在角落腐爛，做任何事也只是因本能而行動，也不記得今天是星期幾，幾月幾日，因為沒有需要。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v4TaSDN6n
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJW3e7AeWB
甚麼也再沒需要了。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7f3sYIB5V
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UwlBF80Ay
妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICmsLZlwJt
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEHDYC3mjL
我也在妍妍身上看到曾經的自己。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPlwLZCsUP
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80FwOKQWbO
我把自己那時的頹然喪志和妍妍說了個大概，她同樣地靜靜的聽著，而且聽著聽著她把自己雙腳抱住，似乎好像聽到甚麼不願意回想起的事一樣。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFRs1DaYmH
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOKqhPYqDt
話畢。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBv6ymOcFy
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcP2UB1w4U
妍妍閉上眼思考了一會兒，然後開口說：「睇黎我黎搵你呻係正確既選擇。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcO0J3f7SV
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX2e0QJYQq
「你想既，幾時都可以。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96aNgkt17K
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGtvJceIyU
她沉默了片刻。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbg246RIfwz
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvyQbJK9RQ
「咁你個時點走出去？」她問我。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80lvaQsbNC
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOy8Tr4JZ5
「一黎童桐唔俾我繼續摺落去喇。」我說，「二黎就係射返箭，射箭個時個人會好專心，射中靶會好有成功感，漸漸就走左出黎。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FH5F4jb6k
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxIdUAWCRO
「無興趣。」她微笑說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKZ4bG3o0o
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLLsCMSfvF
「…咁點解個時你唔搵我？至少我可以好似童桐拖我出房咁樣幫你，我地細個都一齊玩過，我唔會唔理你。」我說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiZf9UTLBA
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQMfQDPOl1
「個時我都未搵返你。我地細個個時又無Facebook IG呢Ｄ。」妍妍說，「係去到情聖係TG Group臨時要女仔同你去街，我先知個個係你。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7tc4QgC1P
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2Im4z4fe8
「係咪…好失望？」我苦笑，「搞到要搵PTGF………雖，雖然係用黎激童桐啦，我本身都無諗住要搵PTGF，一日都係情聖自把自為，未未未未等到30歲轉生做魔法師囉…」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWxybLa6PF
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g2atEM9us
我說到了後半句才發現自己的發言何等窩囊，馬上手忙腳亂地想修正，但是似乎愈描愈黑。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDPwzzod6e
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tY73024Wa
「好啦，唔使解釋。」妍妍被我的慌張樣子逗笑，「你真係除左射箭咩都唔識架喎。」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tiyF0KVIg
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WrGabbzl2
「連你都咁講，嗚…」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoCohQ2G3L
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61teODKcnR
「咁樣先係你既賣點。」妍妍輕撫我被海風吹亂的頭髮說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Zx0DxH8uN
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ870bzzaC44
同樣是看到我使出全力追求童桐，情聖在我身上看到自己沒有之物並覺得耀眼，而妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己並覺得懷念。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQu3bXMGpVJ
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L4umlWa5X
我完全不覺我自己會為任何人帶來啟發，但似乎他們不這樣認為。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQprIDGB6qv
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSgF2r2x9q
「咁你以後有咩打算？既然個個人已經連婚都結埋。」我說。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax6xQNYaWC
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDjYWqJssU
「……我唔知。」妍妍看著海的雙眼變得空洞，不過她還把頭靠在我肩上，我很有信心她沒有任何投海的念頭。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujOc9gP0yG
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jmHrVQCtm
然後她開口問：「你呢，如果最後童桐都係唔同你一齊，你又有咩打算？」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSgpJ8Sqlp
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6HxSB98Qz
「……我唔知。」我給出和妍妍一模一樣的答案。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulZFNZ5JWd
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ykRoPOTJZ
看來我真的沒有鼓勵人的天分，但畢竟我也自身難保嘛。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkXoLKMWMs
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5S3r2Dz49w
「……」921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4F57WNJxQ
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtfpAYSDHB
兩個不知還可以怎樣辦的人，就這樣互相倚靠在一起，坐在海邊喝著廉價的啤酒，吹著因暑氣而帶點異味的海風。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMQmuVFOrv
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CH13BGxab
不是甚麼事也能憑決心，憑努力去改寫的。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy56CDGjFh6
921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS22vvdzm8
夏天，也到尾聲了。921Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96wgyHf4nI
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
