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  • Writer
    鬼光 Ghostly
    鬼光 Ghostly
    創傷與治癒的文章和故事 | Instagram @ghostly_mind

    磷化氫(Phosphine, PH3)是有機物的遺骸腐化分解的過程中產生的有毒氣體,它從泥土中浮出並接觸氧氣,發生自燃,形成磷火(即鬼火)。這個現象通常在墓地、泥沼等地方可見,並在黑夜中更明顯。

    劇院會在閒置時在一片漆黑舞臺上點亮單獨一支「鬼燈」(ghost light),以免在亮燈前走動的人士發生意外。亦有人說這是供劇院的鬼魂的安撫和娛樂。

    有人說,人在凌晨時分最為誠實赤裸,也最為脆弱。本應破碎而亡的心臟仍然跳動,介於生死、正負、黑白、去留、有無、隱現之間,彷似是鬼。

    這是個屬於消逝和傷痕的轉化過程,它在隱暗寂靜的地方蘊釀,成為可畏卻幽美之物,孕育成一種心態。
    See more
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自我解剖(隨筆及初稿堆)
PG
51.2K
10
62
5.1K
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#49
導讀・目錄
2 Likes
154 Reads
4 Comments
#48
憂鬱篇14:精神健康的鐘擺
0 Likes
11 Reads
0 Comments
#47
憂鬱篇13:世界一直叫喊着:「聽我說!」
0 Likes
13 Reads
0 Comments
#46
憂鬱篇12:憤怒
0 Likes
18 Reads
0 Comments
#45
憂鬱篇11:I am quiet but please listen anyway
0 Likes
18 Reads
0 Comments
#44
憂鬱篇10:Bring me back to life
0 Likes
12 Reads
0 Comments
#43
憂鬱篇9:Proof
0 Likes
13 Reads
0 Comments
#42
憂鬱篇8:Good patient
0 Likes
11 Reads
0 Comments
#41
憂鬱篇7:初次見精神科醫生
0 Likes
17 Reads
0 Comments
#40
憂鬱篇6:康復之後我會是誰?
1 Like
29 Reads
0 Comments
#39
憂鬱篇5:Thanks for being here with me
1 Like
28 Reads
0 Comments
#38
憂鬱篇4:Beautiful world
0 Likes
34 Reads
0 Comments
#37
憂鬱篇3:Tired of sleeping
0 Likes
33 Reads
0 Comments
#36
憂鬱篇2:月的碎片
0 Likes
28 Reads
0 Comments
#35
憂鬱篇1:每個人的心靈都在淌血
0 Likes
32 Reads
0 Comments
#34
創作篇:「她」的遺物(創作挑戰)
0 Likes
87 Reads
0 Comments
#33
創作篇:我是一位活着的寫手(創作挑戰)
1 Like
83 Reads
0 Comments
#32
創作篇:夢境日記
0 Likes
70 Reads
0 Comments
#31
雜談:走得太快 2
3 Likes
65 Reads
0 Comments
#30
創作篇:有關那些寫給自己的信
1 Like
66 Reads
0 Comments
#29
雜談:你快樂嗎?
0 Likes
78 Reads
0 Comments
#28
倡議篇:有關自殺的自由(含內容警告)
1 Like
75 Reads
1 Comment
#27
創作篇:寫作很辛苦,更新才不是我的本份
3 Likes
76 Reads
0 Comments
#26
復元篇:自我介紹
2 Likes
72 Reads
0 Comments
#25
生日信件:給二十七
2 Likes
107 Reads
0 Comments
#24
生日信件:給二十六
1 Like
76 Reads
0 Comments
#23
生日信件:給二十五
1 Like
68 Reads
0 Comments
#22
生日信件:給二十四
1 Like
75 Reads
3 Comments
#21
生日信件:給二十三
1 Like
77 Reads
0 Comments
#20
生日信件:給二十二
0 Likes
75 Reads
0 Comments
#19
生日信件:給二十一
0 Likes
72 Reads
0 Comments
#18
生日信件:給二十
0 Likes
85 Reads
0 Comments
#17
生日信件:給十九
0 Likes
72 Reads
0 Comments
#16
生日信件:給十八
0 Likes
56 Reads
0 Comments
#15
生日信件:給十七
0 Likes
82 Reads
0 Comments
#14
雜談:老
2 Likes
155 Reads
0 Comments
#13
復元篇:給陌生婦人的回覆
2 Likes
101 Reads
0 Comments
#12
復元篇:輔導員 P 和 T
2 Likes
132 Reads
0 Comments
#11
復元篇:心理學家 Dr. A(含內容警告)
2 Likes
154 Reads
0 Comments
#10
創作篇:談「獵奇」(含內容警告)
4 Likes
183 Reads
0 Comments
#9
身體篇:有關身體與精神的連繫 Mind-Body Connection
3 Likes
134 Reads
0 Comments
#8
身體篇:現在才第一次中新冠病毒記錄
3 Likes
117 Reads
0 Comments
#7
創作篇:有關作品更名的原因和作品本質
4 Likes
123 Reads
0 Comments
#6
2021 停藥篇6:自殘/自傷的經歷(含內容警告)
3 Likes
119 Reads
0 Comments
#5
2021 停藥篇5:和醫生溝通、病人心態
3 Likes
141 Reads
0 Comments
#4
2021 停藥篇4:初次見精神科醫生&開始藥物治療
3 Likes
155 Reads
0 Comments
#3
2021 停藥篇3:猶疑/我真的需要幫助嗎?
2 Likes
135 Reads
0 Comments
#2
2021 停藥篇2:見醫生的過程/各種精神健康專業人士
2 Likes
167 Reads
0 Comments
#1
2021 停藥篇1:一年半的經歷的總寫
4 Likes
219 Reads
0 Comments

有關精神健康,有關我的生活、思考,以及我的抑鬱、焦慮等經歷的文章。

精神健康這回事是我每天都會思考的東西。這是我的事業和目前的工作,也是我27年來大部分時間都在面對的考驗。

2021年停服抗抑鬱藥後,我便打算兌現對自己的承諾,將治療的過程寫成書。可是我感到自己本來希望藉以鼓勵身邊人求助和向讓其他人知道抑鬱症的樣貌的故事,充滿了陌生的憤怒。我因此只完成了一些文章,沒有完成整個故事。

《自我解剖》是這些文章的累積,因爲我的想法、感受和經歷是只會一直增加的,即使不完整、沒有次序和結構又如何?思考、談論精神健康本來就是一種挑戰和反叛,抗拒社會的冷漠、標籤,也是抗拒自己的自我審查和壓抑。


以下為《自我解剖》原簡介

[內容警告:本作品談論精神健康相關題目,包括抑鬱、創傷、自殺等,可能引起不安和情緒反應,讀者請考慮自己的接受程度,需要時請停止閱讀並優先照顧自己。]

有關抑鬱、焦慮、復元等的插畫和隨筆。

2020 年 7 月到 2021 年 12 月,我接受焦慮症和抑鬱症的藥物治療。

在決定看醫生之前,我畫了很多時間猶疑究竟要不要看醫生、自己究竟有沒有病、有沒有需要求助、會不會被嘲笑誇大自己的難受。在決定的一刻,其中一個說服我的原因,是當我見過精神科醫生後,我就可以跟別人分享我的經驗,告訴他們求醫的過程到底是怎樣的。我應承自己在結束治療後寫下自己的經歷。

開始了寫作不久,我發現我的寫作充滿了憤怒。我不肯定這是不是我想要的,於是又擱下了寫作。然後,在所謂「復元」的過程中,我也修讀了心理學,並且成爲了精神健康機構的職員,獲得了一個全新角度的體驗。

現在的話,我的寫作應該會更加謹慎吧,同時我也不希望失去自己的聲音而人云亦云。「正」與「負」是互相轉化的,我相信我的故事的價值在於中間流動的灰。

(這裡發佈的文章和插圖未經完全計劃和整理。我會在有足夠內容時再進行整合。)

如遇上緊急情況,請向以下機構/熱線及專業人士/醫護人員求助:

香港:
明愛向晴軒熱線 (家庭危機):18288
醫院管理局精神健康專線:24667350
社會福利署熱線服務:23432255
生命熱線:23820000
香港撒瑪利亞防止自殺會熱線:23892222
撒瑪利亞會 中文及多種語言防止自殺熱線:28960000

台灣:
衛生福利部安心專線(自殺防治):1925
精神醫療緊急處置線上諮詢24小時服務專線:049-2551010

(歡迎更正或提供有用資訊。)

swap_vert
#49
導讀・目錄
2 Likes
154 Reads
4 Comments
#48
憂鬱篇14:精神健康的鐘擺
0 Likes
11 Reads
0 Comments
#47
憂鬱篇13:世界一直叫喊着:「聽我說!」
0 Likes
13 Reads
0 Comments
#46
憂鬱篇12:憤怒
0 Likes
18 Reads
0 Comments
#45
憂鬱篇11:I am quiet but please listen anyway
0 Likes
18 Reads
0 Comments
#44
憂鬱篇10:Bring me back to life
0 Likes
12 Reads
0 Comments
#43
憂鬱篇9:Proof
0 Likes
13 Reads
0 Comments
#42
憂鬱篇8:Good patient
0 Likes
11 Reads
0 Comments
#41
憂鬱篇7:初次見精神科醫生
0 Likes
17 Reads
0 Comments
#40
憂鬱篇6:康復之後我會是誰?
1 Like
29 Reads
0 Comments
#39
憂鬱篇5:Thanks for being here with me
1 Like
28 Reads
0 Comments
#38
憂鬱篇4:Beautiful world
0 Likes
34 Reads
0 Comments
#37
憂鬱篇3:Tired of sleeping
0 Likes
33 Reads
0 Comments
#36
憂鬱篇2:月的碎片
0 Likes
28 Reads
0 Comments
#35
憂鬱篇1:每個人的心靈都在淌血
0 Likes
32 Reads
0 Comments
#34
創作篇:「她」的遺物(創作挑戰)
0 Likes
87 Reads
0 Comments
#33
創作篇:我是一位活着的寫手(創作挑戰)
1 Like
83 Reads
0 Comments
#32
創作篇:夢境日記
0 Likes
70 Reads
0 Comments
#31
雜談:走得太快 2
3 Likes
65 Reads
0 Comments
#30
創作篇:有關那些寫給自己的信
1 Like
66 Reads
0 Comments
#29
雜談:你快樂嗎?
0 Likes
78 Reads
0 Comments
#28
倡議篇:有關自殺的自由(含內容警告)
1 Like
75 Reads
1 Comment
#27
創作篇:寫作很辛苦,更新才不是我的本份
3 Likes
76 Reads
0 Comments
#26
復元篇:自我介紹
2 Likes
72 Reads
0 Comments
#25
生日信件:給二十七
2 Likes
107 Reads
0 Comments
#24
生日信件:給二十六
1 Like
76 Reads
0 Comments
#23
生日信件:給二十五
1 Like
68 Reads
0 Comments
#22
生日信件:給二十四
1 Like
75 Reads
3 Comments
#21
生日信件:給二十三
1 Like
77 Reads
0 Comments
#20
生日信件:給二十二
0 Likes
75 Reads
0 Comments
#19
生日信件:給二十一
0 Likes
72 Reads
0 Comments
#18
生日信件:給二十
0 Likes
85 Reads
0 Comments
#17
生日信件:給十九
0 Likes
72 Reads
0 Comments
#16
生日信件:給十八
0 Likes
56 Reads
0 Comments
#15
生日信件:給十七
0 Likes
82 Reads
0 Comments
#14
雜談:老
2 Likes
155 Reads
0 Comments
#13
復元篇:給陌生婦人的回覆
2 Likes
101 Reads
0 Comments
#12
復元篇:輔導員 P 和 T
2 Likes
132 Reads
0 Comments
#11
復元篇:心理學家 Dr. A(含內容警告)
2 Likes
154 Reads
0 Comments
#10
創作篇:談「獵奇」(含內容警告)
4 Likes
183 Reads
0 Comments
#9
身體篇:有關身體與精神的連繫 Mind-Body Connection
3 Likes
134 Reads
0 Comments
#8
身體篇:現在才第一次中新冠病毒記錄
3 Likes
117 Reads
0 Comments
#7
創作篇:有關作品更名的原因和作品本質
4 Likes
123 Reads
0 Comments
#6
2021 停藥篇6:自殘/自傷的經歷(含內容警告)
3 Likes
119 Reads
0 Comments
#5
2021 停藥篇5:和醫生溝通、病人心態
3 Likes
141 Reads
0 Comments
#4
2021 停藥篇4:初次見精神科醫生&開始藥物治療
3 Likes
155 Reads
0 Comments
#3
2021 停藥篇3:猶疑/我真的需要幫助嗎?
2 Likes
135 Reads
0 Comments
#2
2021 停藥篇2:見醫生的過程/各種精神健康專業人士
2 Likes
167 Reads
0 Comments
#1
2021 停藥篇1:一年半的經歷的總寫
4 Likes
219 Reads
0 Comments

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