日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW32KrBDi7
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBcpkFN9Mi
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFR9XNlEo42
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy2tZWeIRK
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXM9dPuPNo
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JUVMy1X4w
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey0DDiiVq5
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX19eot5z7
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMK4jmTxPF
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdBGMINgb1
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoLkUkMGRV
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TG02ZrVyd
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFFBfTpAHp
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk1JHH8pNt
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlu8mukaWK4
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQO7umym4aD
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPCFi0PwyW
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLB2Vqs8g4
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgeb5Jq2vF
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpS3pLMwJVf
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyN2Oc7wGb
「我哪知道。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl5WcUILay
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vLewuenep
「……說的也是。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbunIHqSRF
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoO5O77NvW
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUZsKVvA8h
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqKp80Xstn
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hsW896P6a
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZllTHKIDgT
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0Qp1ANBGq
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI0CqJR1l9
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkUTP3FWeU
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWGNPoBJ1h
無法灑脫。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTICGrVsgp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2a3jq5bp67
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNzXEjgrSE
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1VzHOkPS2
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnYmJMvhhf
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMz58WpY6q
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yXmRNloAi
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y7szogJHj
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNquvc1eq5
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6TAtSz8sT
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDcFgCjZEx
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf04O1CzRIR
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fokrmEazk
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqDeMSDUDg
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewxGuVep4w
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OBoZY3amF
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvByQwWg3m1
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuoPYjIUI0
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa80fjOSQN
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoooP07WT0
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKRZARoSYn
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7n11W5uGom
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7L1o0CVg1M
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF1LCad1Zc
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW6V3j2e9v
「嗯。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtFW8ZBSsQ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIOz031twc
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAg5Sza7H2
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3twXlDRPEX
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuY8RFq5qAK
我還不明白。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3Tdfq5W08
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvap4rHIkLp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZDQ9iykyV
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡselmGkQYPL
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBXLoksiOw
「……沒有。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp0YOTjLsG
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCh7nM0owN
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzPLWPBlvl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2H8RafHBb
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuwk8nSWik
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oQeUVDQto
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNN9uHMkvd
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiRhLMPmyp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixvggRxZVz
「妳沒必要忘記。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrAKNMGw3B
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hords5ZZJ
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4U15U5PTW
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimzKGVk4MZ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrzRFP98AE
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fIOhrOeGy
後來。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nH3oYTS3r
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVQvTgWpQO
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnv5gjiY7b
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ43WNUnAV
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwqNRpqYHH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNSKPXZj5e
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWervVg9KRw
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedrqLAlsj4
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzolUZOV5t
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6bsErBTGr
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFZJBKNLfe
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyaWBO0qLX
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChjIRKZYJk
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcP77VzuSV
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT4yal3SOC
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPnH32hVbN
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9ZJjWqhIx
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLlVPsQW7b
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6DSGE537i
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOcazcPbrp
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa4rKtwqH3
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjIKiWgbLT
完。
ns 18.68.41.132da2
