事情要回到幾個月前。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbTwjExRXK
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouNwFUENW4
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbtD41K3Mz
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6mKdQ0IFA
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uHLQIR6Sd
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2rbsIOhAe
「幹嘛道歉？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHeeY744fs
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFHEpgAJgF
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbDZ0D5FYo
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGfjBdthOR
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGMyyaOJwK
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClv5mac2B8
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpEn6DTM8R
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM426hPJwQi
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MXFbhQ4wh
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKulUYIU41
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy2YLBi0V3
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQTQL2MkgI
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZstRRMmHs
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Hn2NwMlEM
「不是。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30hW1T52cA
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUbqHNf3iD
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqD7gsiCRK
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMjl84smit
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFNhbXtE3a
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1xAKQnQ3W
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJgXuIm8zM
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW16dqzE7Me
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQBzsIEkDP
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkwU8gDlJb
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOgullRXLN
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4R288AD5O
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEUUNSF6Vv
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFVMvUxQVw
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYke0Lgj6W
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb29psv4rs
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FRqRPBGu2
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdMQB25U9y
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENd2jwxCrZ
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PcC31rZyb
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZemEomjJCE
「我信任妳。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3BukVlSWz
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ04SY2TYX
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZB26TNmiW
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR27Y4AVuz
「妳應該不是。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q9fyo3ROv
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHScmscDFM
「這麼有信心？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0BLOefQid
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6jpoAqO92
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6bLw6H5Wn
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2uXscpgPy
「嗯？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhi5kBWIwh
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqZoxpJYfD
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdNQVGonzx
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSIxg1euWX
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADpBLVECD0
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0HXMgoNFH
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwxxNMulr0
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdBpovuDlj
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PR5Z7bnEf
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3JDJSPSe1
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25D9uYAVEo
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTD7MIFQ3z
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkz1OM21fC
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMJ6vOK87c
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96to63p0My
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN98IJbN3Fs
「哈哈哈。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmCoDNFWzp
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEnveZedHI
「哈哈。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWLTm4mUft
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvm5sMkRDG
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnQlCva0df
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9MaafTHrD
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQqsktxyYc
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJvWqalJwG
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgz7ns71tU
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwiUuYEvby
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstMVJ1M3zR
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6UBPclUvl
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7bpujOC8j
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmOY2o9POU
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkRbIaCgv3
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbiQ7oAJdO
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRflDLtFpYU
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB37lbE7EN
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOARPWuXOxO
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wA8UvDO8C
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzzR7cyB4S
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEL9Jktb0y
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3pCpzNGoC
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPchpcpZTr
接著，換左腳。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbizeVBHyG3
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnmmaVAMhS
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8imzV594ij
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSe7NYKLvA
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTUyZR3tsK
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvdnUqO798
「頭抬起來。」我說。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mfbc97oFr
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZjDTmCgyg
命令的語氣。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruJjIIuyjt
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbNrlehlRs
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKj3YPSPqt
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIT9LHImhs8
待續。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Uxf2d5po0
