事情要回到幾個月前。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGQNRR4Ooi
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPTRcrGIRZ
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxW6VZGKT9
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8xixgkb2E
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF1fPOhrUs
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3KxLF7CmN
「幹嘛道歉？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2jTqqezik
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbk5PcyXMo
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DKTOBRJYo
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrA7gqBF5q
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3YWAdolUS
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0B1DJ5luYl
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeBwBUcBWv
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSowRhsSkD
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3tsYWx6r4
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFr8WqTdYRw
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvf1oYyHq0N
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfX7jM03TPK
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIfDOl6gln
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf98sEYVLXq
「不是。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lwcNQOpxq
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiehnTSnwk6
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qhnJW5n6m
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgWdOLSobg
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8l5a4fuOZ
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡki4MmM9SNh
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gCkQj2iJS
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEGjRiZxh5
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO769E7aOe9
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0BvLIYzbX
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdh3XMjell
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEnKMzEfDb
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vhhIoyqKS
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSGhIpFCvZ
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFsx26aChz
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmjgoR7r5G
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFgSAgczrD
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hTVkmd3q0
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUU6A3K7WA
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1q9o4Ke1e
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZHIwkop3y
「我信任妳。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblEtFYjqwV
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxO6XyTiiG
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPQobjbcC5
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujEGrLRmOP
「妳應該不是。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6fb8Mjvol
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK0d0Ij8Y0
「這麼有信心？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB4bNuAoXZ
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzPx8rO6Vu
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezOeRdtW9D
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rFMwfO4Q0
「嗯？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv4MwSrej0
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzobcBAKPCC
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbyVTxKuTo
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu3Br3QmIO
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ676QJLwhgp
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPOq0EBLTo
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuVUADcY1J
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQXdCrdWbX
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPosJZYnB0
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxx0BFwDq5O
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSQK0hAPxP
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF7vfAidyg
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvyWwvYuYF
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSseewQbKw
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGWnUG4xo3
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYuTXcrYAY
「哈哈哈。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu2wz9mMVr
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqwUuZhmfg
「哈哈。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZw6RqPJIk
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi5SIs74v7
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArWzGqFtkH
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCmmkK9qgt
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23vMfP19zS
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhM4u1PYdQ
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZXwkrHJjA
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xaw8Uow3K
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmxZfKHrJ5
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwTmThJt8X
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeUS9Tt4rY
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiPHVMAq03
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX0aIRbo75
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCd3NZYnJs
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I5fPjQK3v
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnhAoKmKa6
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHGopiRDDB
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4ekJeAedS
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ioj2bhFRJ
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CBV5MJ5PL
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9xFMgD3jq
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RIbR6v3Qv
接著，換左腳。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zuzQyfxjL
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRlPCZa1nN
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIC1D8rJZmv
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6aqRabGxu
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYM92NuStyE
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpdgPMZQHi
「頭抬起來。」我說。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6nFGm09De
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhm3CDPBjT
命令的語氣。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGMSOJ5fsA
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTQ5mY5vv5
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8XsrPybkO
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrDcvMrHmZ
待續。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtMBvKvCP8
