事情要回到幾個月前。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6Ntc7vdNb
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFa8IjIfMf
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWhvByTEyD
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8mgMnjdnb
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu1drIdNZ0
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubW1Nbohb3
「幹嘛道歉？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmgnLXKbbw
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaVrY63vVr
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRcrIe6Qlv
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiQgcwBx3f
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAKgrRAhPu
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiPE9y4abx
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27WWZWRLWq
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfzZNeOW0F
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwWrt0jOwv
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPmFb2L9OO
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXZj1KV2mE
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsdu8LxJ1f
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhK1Mgyk9J
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvinPQsLSP
「不是。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3Gke2Jwq0
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcq7cUlJdb
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBY3rI6IVXW
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfme1NG8AE8
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJRCMNXLaS
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj1QyDg3ju
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNhBLrIElz
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzJjk2XuLC
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DszUPhJJn
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI3k0MP1z7
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoLSoQgFl2
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKlxCrJUjw
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwGe7IDoiL
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gVwHSkhIw
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZfR7ilp6U
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeE7a0klynl
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTX2JdUlo6
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj68huWcSD
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJpc2KL4Wp
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ctng4rTZa
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFivdZIQTH
「我信任妳。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckeGtmvA0h
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVY3nelPd2
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTsGV0Zdhl
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPjojIRQ5e
「妳應該不是。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAyRsXdlhp
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7Ikb4rdck
「這麼有信心？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3eHmBlb1o
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLtymKAXk2
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rEXuDbp2O
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYqKjP4asi
「嗯？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlvNxPrJZH
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fFapcOBOj
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZKi1oaaA0
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QDVf6hpt6
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfzhXc3k8G
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOgOyIrIQP
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLACLWRyuPy
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFOuFaD1w2
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjob4s8mzsR
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBHl3xRkLF
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUVm5boe3Q
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlreElKG5vC
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTfkLaFR7f
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIzPP3WNz4
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP4IXLRkZC
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO31rgh33z
「哈哈哈。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAk9rCxEPS
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjM1D8cGvwQ
「哈哈。」344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFKTAXTqSZ
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeZgvcl59g
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke7CAOfT85
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzhCB2snx9
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1inWFxIbjK
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClgqIfRAnC
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYkGDSrnOp
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrbyNK9Cyi
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLezgal0Lw1
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCQV8cIGJS
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicYZNXSjRY
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjExiKpQVp
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXbVfVtyV9
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIQghxY50C
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTwXD5LuLH
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZdpJj6MWU
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvyzf63TCE
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHBA56MALK
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgZYpakOWn
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgu6S2Qzq3
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrjH9tU4hT
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel4skuRzAW
接著，換左腳。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI929rdR0Z
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MPtTUVMGf
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e7vxg0hF7
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLAus7OEIx
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXNFcHl9uY
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfZRkG6qcw
「頭抬起來。」我說。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFKpob75sN
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe6TsbWXra
命令的語氣。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ152cuepFPW
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzK1NcmHKD
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBGq21EBDv
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyfKm4akXC
待續。344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WSyeFlkRw
