我站在門前許久，才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOV7EoW7ZPP
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcm9bXXVCj
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhfn5PcKb8
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHYbXYv4LF
「請問，這是英傑的家嗎？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNStReKRk2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADeMZqYuMI
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9j6rZRL8r
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wUzknSpKL
「妳是…？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAmmsIANMS
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT75JPmEYE
「我是英傑的朋友，因為我一直聯絡不到他，所以…」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZP1CeYPEd
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5wipDPQ5c
「妳找錯間了，這裡沒這個人！」她揮揮手，避開我的眼神。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXocPvQr1t
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7YuLEvs04
「我知道他被通緝！」在她準備關上裡面的木門前，我急著大喊。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTh8MA7gaMA
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIzSVAljZu
婦人停下動作，又把木門拉開了些。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpf4d8i9lfA
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4zA3mCHav
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面，可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSQaMOd7qW
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTKiVpbzjF
「妳是他女朋友？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVGW3PD0uh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sNgTThDBX
「不是，我不是，我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡng1pzTkqep
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtnKkdRfT4
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ978XpzkaUt
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWmcbifvwE
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumpWhp9KeQ
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著，語氣平淡得不可思議。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwB08lfdhOT
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWkWCaVV0j
我一時語塞，沒能回話。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhdbZbfXXm
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rQTR4yBT3
「讓妳跑一趟，歹勢，英傑不在這裡，我也不知道他在哪裡。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbZ5RbosXc
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk80VOTtGHa
「那個…那，我可以留下我的手機，如果他有跟你們聯絡，請他跟我聯絡好嗎？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJmOzd3NJa
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yzHFVwGK6
婦人一臉不耐煩，我很尷尬，但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門，交到婦人手裡。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pwIaVlid2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ078euBKGfH
「小姐貴姓？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GbjWHa54J
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8qJDiq4qW
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6ru6pDOs0
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVqJdyUGUM
「………」婦人突然噤了聲，透過鐵門盯著我。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CjrChZfxu
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC7jebfoRf
「糟。」我心想。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9maLqtaPn
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2zcp2KwNK
她隨即關上木門。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8WUkGMB6w
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgF5T92Pwj
「她知道我是誰了。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mUEV9NWMI
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKKAMCKovn
我當下便明白，不管英傑有沒有回到這裡，我都無法得知了。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFH5IBw8cH
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCnowghDPO
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDtEGTTYvt
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ309ZHKu8KI
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oK0vwBSnz
我不敢換手機號碼，睡覺時也不關機，就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58CsF5HaZv
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqA1aw4FfI
就這樣升上了高中二年級，368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99vC9P326C
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwR1bc8qwM
迎來了人生的轉折。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2JJP43mwN
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz05rxo1lBm
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73CljnEsJH
父母親早在我國小時就已離異，但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開，便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大，幾乎是要什麼有什麼，生性霸道且極端任性，父親一生風流，基於愧疚或父愛，總寵著我，比起成天碎碎念的母親，我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiynpDrZsHw
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CIKMBF8w6
在高二那一年，父親生意失利，經營的公司惡性倒閉，再加上「賭」及「面子」，父親找上了地下錢莊。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsd9G1Avu5
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZArE7NfvKU
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eSo6GwMuj
當我放學回家，看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼，我還沒能反應過來。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgisU0c5VE
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9fvF1Xsy7
「都已經離婚了，為什麼還這樣拖累我！」
母親氣得哭了。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OtZZcILE5
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTvib5qy3j
某天晚上，母親進來房間，告訴我，房子要賣掉了。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSBO1M2JBl
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aCZuEzoDv
他們離婚後，所買的房子仍是共有財產，父親要把房子賣掉，才能償還債務。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPftNCGese
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttxsZ38Zb4
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重，跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家，就因為你，所以我的家就要這樣沒了！」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJVSmKOq2T
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrczaGgblq
「那妳要我死是不是！」爸爸第一次吼我。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hrigtUuE2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5rzRSAzY0
「我沒錢，地下錢莊說要砍我手腳，我讓他砍是不是！」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNQD5zjtS6
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3nzVrmN6R
我嚇到了，沒能反駁。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68nCRyyGn1
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuLQn0UKWM
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友，那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的，所以他要搬出去，妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡，不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8LTqlGyRy
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93kUl1ICFC
我沒說話，看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親，便逕自走回房間。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDs8KYUTz3
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd981mDRSbD
回到房間，想起國小五年級那天，母親到安親班接我和弟弟，把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了，妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權，弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳，妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開，所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔！」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrPUxds4L2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jAo18eRRG
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtvljL7UQR
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtu9xOaA648
我不能接受的，其實是家的破碎。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCt3E73XIW
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGTcT9CbpP
因為一直都住在一起，所以沒有分離的感覺。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydfcvzeraY
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyTee77w2p
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子，他弟弟出生後，就被虐待又被冷落，所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後，完全沒有再過問他們的生活，也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETLU406jNm
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6hDc6i8MP
「妳不要管我，反正我的監護權又不是妳！」
「是妳自己不要我的！」
某次和母親吵架，我說了這樣的話，害母親哭了整晚。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvdxSNHvZp
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0OglUihH4
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnXtlBL8Tz
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF9H83oeZA
「小姐貴姓？」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神，帶了驚訝及恨意。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ob33ndosL
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk9SwBmFuT
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運，其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳，妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字，看起來多麼傷心。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PBAvYMSY0
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aKLM4LXsJ
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKW5K1k1327
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtuYla6pBI
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIX5oZ7OOh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpc9zCzi4i
媽媽睡了之後，我走到客廳，父親盯著電視，卻兩眼無神。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPvYLWDMr6
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXVzTrkC9P
「爸爸。」我喊他。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF1X9Cn1vm
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Yzd8UVJvG
父親抬頭看我。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdkEMkNyX0
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27Z6XYoXYC
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qLpYvx0mR
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBQiiHGqrC
「我不知道。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDxLnnCPWh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVN3mzbim7
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6PeXAuFjB
「我和你一起搬走。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4oH5U4QAr
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp70lHUZ0wC
我說出這句話的時候，爸爸一臉驚訝。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72V3oKYZ7t
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wB7g4eLlo
「真的嗎？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrOkGdoq1P
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswJY3SgxMQ
「嗯。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fK7ux3fJk
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx3JUyyYVp
「…好啊。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnUfQ8b93t
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGL4IkOQEy
「那我去睡了，爸爸晚安。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1afhzxqSX
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc93Rm74xn0
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNvyeeMvUk
那時，我只想著，父親一旦離開了，我可能再也見不到他。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovikQYWvUv
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfQocige2I
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親，他仍是我的父親，從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfPG48Besa
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGAS3yPXFv
隔天，我便自己出門找房子。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIm7cWhyE8J
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI1bzDcmvg
母親雖然擔心又不捨，但沒能阻止我的任性與固執，就還是陪著我找房子。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYH89SLYr2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoH3ejwuFM
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處，因為我當時尚未成年，還是請父親來和房東簽合約，之後，我自己忙搬家，請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙，把所有的家具都搬到新住處。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXZ53vPJHm
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQNcgJkjI4
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehMPDpD9uD
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非，我們搬家後沒多久，又有新的債主找上門。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡla5tXk09jh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocQWqn8I9H
那天，黑兔子（忘記她的人請往前看系列文）趁著假日到家裡玩，我們在房間聊天，父親在客廳看電視。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWrHpYnU43
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFdsht9h8k
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候，有人按電鈴。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAEZEKJOpH
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkZToWqRre
按了好幾聲，父親卻不去應門。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCH5hWBOaHF
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU32o4nM5G
我走到客廳，看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面，示意我不要出聲。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerwN4BBE7m
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojPPq1e8XJ
對方按了幾下電鈴，便開始撞門，接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQSZA4IHvC
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xNHqbkbs3
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到，悄聲問我怎麼回事，我覺得很丟臉，但還是告訴她，門外的是父親的債主，我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧，才會待在門外不走。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqvKeEAMhD
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzanjC80QeN
直到傍晚，我才戰戰兢兢的開門，送黑兔子到公車站搭車。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvp5RaSPFCc
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsJWgPSgZG
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraC25hcRxo
那年發生的事情非常地多，我喜歡上了一個學長，但他卻用各種不同的方式，在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhgdXU1IcR
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHweg2o4p9g
但那是另一個故事了。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffyf1pjdVx
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7Oznqrksv
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQZdr5HPF1
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPOd4sGkcI
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jEmwMuGM6
我就讀的學校是私立職校，學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢，付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrXhfwGXeR
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cFoRAmdue
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口，像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0RNztWE17
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVBcvUfWR6
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯，但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心，又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrjFCs59JD
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRWnmwM1Kg
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNBoup5Dr6
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡，我很常想起英傑。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIltw1ialOY
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3FMMUJPIE
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD4YgAhXTf
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMxmVEBnOY
難道逃出台灣了嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9f37Z71PAg
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZxeukrYlV
難道…真的死了嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRygUE0oN6F
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ41ZVAp3F
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmjgaLkhdE
一天晚上，我帶著傷痕回家，在家門前，我把運動外套拉起，確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門，想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWW8fMvR7B
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1U9q1q5uCu
但父親不在家。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI1EBQqQSE
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwn6VXYAxC
撥了父親的電話，聽見那邊的麻將聲。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw5kfa7Zrd
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehEgRTfQF8
我對父親大吼，卻被掛電話。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADdGiHlWPH
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09pBZLjw8V
那一刻，我想著自己所做的一切。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0ehPHOGzU
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiAEen6dab
「都是自己選的。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayjOpJD2rk
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4evXxUUwAN
「沒人逼妳，都是妳自己選的。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6jWPMvcG3
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQArco9fICi
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXaN4v8AWM
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaFgWsASyC
「乾脆，去死好了。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MuTcs4xRn
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERKfWiGhAz
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1A9MyeQge
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwC1YCdRGz
待續。
ns 15.158.61.17da2
