尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gu2XJTcuF
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MtxDwm0Nm
「妳瘋了嗎？」445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHOK5WXLs0
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUONIpqaQN
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3te1RstqD
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtTIugK1ec
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwZne2PuoN
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw8SqSB6cT
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpomLgfawq
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB22WiY72t
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoHG6QcfF9
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwM0789brf
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6FrEW1Et9
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dWiys6KXJ
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxteIvAw0A
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQ8UmvJpoc
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7ZKZb8nWf
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYPgqZ9D7U
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5hOI9axem
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVALXWSxva1
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hhgIzwv0L
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvY5yn6IH7
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAfuJJYG9K
站在樹下的人是英傑。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qXLaeBV8t
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGejjKpNWh
我跑向他，勾住他的手。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSveGkicht
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbFSla0JHV
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1cKMP2XUM
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyoNsaE7Yz
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXglQ1a14uB
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kg9K2XCDN
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHGkoz4ojA
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuUe9eROQA
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdjQP1uw5N
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2om1LClHxk
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sqMqwh0Id
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnHhz4Pr8w
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTDnY5qiMc
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGaT1PKQcg
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCj6PknrWs
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMa0W8I5BY
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZHwPmFYzX
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXNMdAyEPV
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fuOdrFa63
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoV7fGwayR
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSq6L1qZrs
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekvzkNE2eI
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq700N4yVNt
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsvspFuD3R
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHSnEb9S43
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ382vVJy3Wi
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqoqawn9s2
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGrjcNQLBh
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2Mv7YbuY2
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lWwaNhUDt
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjWHITh7vE
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFvG6f1STd
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYab6YPK468
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdk9pqBgdG
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaw8P1S6tB
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7qoreWReu
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzvyo9XAz5
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LuHynblrZ
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJeYNcUxLP
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cYcz2Bz0k
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXuMxPWJv5
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDRsfAeU5E
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR004YABEya
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j1aaSe3VX
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4w0y5kGTS
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkx4ZjAOYh
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCPYYAlkN1
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zDclBwBhj
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrwELK5u9j
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjT1GM9f4X
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSdkYRW8HY
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE3AI3FZOV
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TDrg4910l
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPZCrgMFDA
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6oae2jVTk
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TUAPpXmGc
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhjFXJZPA2
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUisAz7iPV
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjTrBnLnHU
在電視裡面。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL2RRMclml
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn1OddEqy0
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVP76OKWccH
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifcTA6Vjo2
待續。
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