尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabN1AtovFc
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejLXADoqt7
「妳瘋了嗎？」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLbs3egr7o
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyjUGcr6kO
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouED3rDVZL
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZsoVQMTSI
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITVv0w1Oq7
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItGzNcco8H
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucmmZU4Uqh
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvKmSdVXmY
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2cUpZ25uZ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ByF1Eb6t8
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDm62wycO6j
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C9UcC7Y3b
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrym4AdkCf
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6ukIIr5Dz
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ143X6OgwYb
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrN8pFloFU
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nwKXZwurC
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYizKF2Mho
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG36INFosGY
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aDwffbTbh
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNSMa5ByNU
站在樹下的人是英傑。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUR0M5Jd4c
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJKTU0WsDC
我跑向他，勾住他的手。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EJcbBsjaN
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqSWDoVEyk
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9n6pLfsiOm
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y6PYlfjUL
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyvSp0MoqB
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo67EAP0gVN
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqQjg5siEl
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4FgXdgtOz
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WjHmw3Y3Z
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1RsQCUGw5
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBCTKNckhI
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZG195LKxm
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73a8MTZBwH
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciEXa9p7H0
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsjIQxZu8Y
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPShNtUJ4j
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErG2X6jc1P
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUQiRluZF2
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzCGnohuTW
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVrj4C40YV
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLVPNKhL9z
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppuaynorU8
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nsdSLbFFm
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW1BCI8nZA
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gq7YnmlFs
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy4w1Gk2mr
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI94CjXL65P
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qfnn4rCk6
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kyn5PAuzU
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUOUat4p5r
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU1C5R0XUz
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKPHggcjCS
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwTmIHLbI2
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDZE7s9FMF
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrxzetc8As
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9g31zqJgK
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5xk76bfLg
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpF5oZNFzAW
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOQ66M9FmN
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfgh83VxWI
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWINRe3Dvj
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsUWGqrjGg
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOYcmIjWL0
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwbSuQg9Cl
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis2DWkBwRB
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvdtju0lTC
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH3YC4fFRx
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ebrfCdCIh
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VVeY4VLTW
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmZ6TBxMnM
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFMMzQLzxC
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBB2caf8AD
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY8dUVAmPj
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vj7sqAHbz
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaub3aGDaC
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b4S5Pmo9f
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtWFtuNbhs
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fO6zpTwmI
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AXJOCQGqY
在電視裡面。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgrdVUKRrU
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyeefo7LUL
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8ZZTc9msw
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jhffEAcsF
待續。
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