尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLENOBjQu8X
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdbi0yczHP
「妳瘋了嗎？」455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qUZPyHGIA
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlnXrQ0nsb
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFAgAONxsT
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU62m0ToUUZ
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KtfTnoUA2
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhwTvjdyCS
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplXQg9xElA
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgfypV2M6d
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAVOlpF9iA
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXCrlxql5v
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Sx8YkfbAL
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpPxBOh6zy
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5iIIjPUU3
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLQdULwxcr
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MIK6Nblht
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnruAZW3BnG
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkWzd27I9L
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrobeoGvZ6f
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cYHRgzLS6
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmGLJzaNRE
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxbiNKUc8o
站在樹下的人是英傑。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlW2iRaahf4
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXXuq6N3Jz
我跑向他，勾住他的手。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMOfxWN8DZ
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnWxF7jBvd
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHbNnneg4T
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdwWpb6ZjC
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB6bn8J6Gp
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM3fzNt1fc
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijDhwVzzQZ
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqGTs3X7yP
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WRb9gMRwM
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIujm2Int13
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVeYQ6ULw0
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5cyVZuNK8
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9biWHWzsUr
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9JSGj8yLp
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qzYsaHqn9
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfW3ys8dan
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNlL92sPkN
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDu2TMVSDU
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUianvRY93h
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61hkQ6rmg7
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpto8zl3QjD
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftyJvo6oJK
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEAkmrLYhl
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTlSHvk4XL
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl1P0dFwyE
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzFZU8k6fa
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLevjlldOGo
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Kt41YFjL4
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vYhCyw2Dx
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEp8B3ovL5f
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Tq3prnrBw
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMBjzrlzcc
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzWRqphHAm
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITfiddT3ET
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinp9oy6nMg
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXntCqyEFV2
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vbMhOSwqx
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScy12YbAmn
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5q8xusuVw
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNhaLhekax
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxg6nlUMzX
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hpL3ZkVx6
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8Tb29Z3EH
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNB7Hyx0OD
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnNGSvQVNk
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3gAY5smBt
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt775q4xGG
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNGFOq65Li
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVOoZN5qts
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYJ9K4pM9h
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyBoMHAG9x
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxOvzzKFMn
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhzKuFgYIF
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXoYt7HRlB
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFtd4eAIp0
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6BUBJ8sPt
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjNUiHk9Pd
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMvFvNxxe7
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7JGVliDms
在電視裡面。455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ3d5W4aE8
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cOUWXyFZJ
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnInVzfJgJ
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUfb2qqZ4o
待續。
ns 18.68.41.175da2
