Toni
Kaylee denied my offer to stay here until she could save up enough money to live on her own again. Turned it down flat like I was trying to convince her to wear pink and attend another banquet. Sometimes she could be so stubborn, I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she saw sense.
"Why not?"
She gave me a do you really have to ask look.
Ever sense I started college and met Kaylee, I've wanted to buy a place together. It didn't matter if it was a house or an apartment, I would have been happy with just about anything. She wouldn't have to leave in the morning, or run home because she forgot something. We could stay up late watching movies, decorate for the holidays. Everything we already did, except she would stay here.
Every time I'd asked, she'd say no. I think it was an independence thing. She didn't want to have to rely on me or anyone for anything. She's been struggling ever since I met her. I tried to offer her money because I wanted to help, a loan even, but she never accepted.
She could be so stubborn sometimes.
"Your boyfriend just moved in," she said casting a glance towards the closed bathroom door. "It'd be way too crowded with the three of us living here."
"Sawyer doesn't mind and neither do I." I said optimistically.
She shook her head adamantly. "Fuck no. I'm not desperate. I'll be fine."
"Please Kay." I said softly. "I would feel so much better if you just stayed here."
I didn't like to imagining her sleeping in her car or in some abandoned building. I knew she had connections, but I also knew she had no family to turn to. If she really needed help, if she got in trouble, she wouldn't come to me for help. It's just the way she is. She thinks of it as her burdening other people and she can't stand doing that.
"I said no."
"Okay, I'm sorry."
Her dark eyes softened slightly. "It's not that I don't want to live with you, I just need to figure this shit out on my own."
I nodded quickly because I didn't want to upset her. "I understand."
She sighed, rubbing the spot between her eyes. "What if I stayed for a couple more nights, would that make you happy?"
"If that's what you want, I don't want to pressure you." I said softly. On the inside, I was elated. Staying a couple more nights meant she might consider staying longer. But I didn't want to push any more than I already had.
"Are we having pizza again for dinner?"
For a moment I thought it was a joke, but that little twinkle in her eyes told me a different story. I swear this woman could live off of pizza. I don't know how she manages to stay in shape when she's constantly consuming all of those carbs. "Actually, I thought I'd make lasagna."
She raised an eyebrow, casting a not-so-discreet glance towards the bathroom. "Your famous dish.. you trying to impress him?"
I couldn't hear the water running anymore, he must have been drying off and getting dressed. My cheeks heated at the thought of him dripping wet and in the nude. What would he look like? Was he lean, muscular, or could he care less about his physical form?
"Earth to Toni."
"Hu?"
"I said why don't you stop picturing ya boy naked and start making a grocery list." She said playfully. A smirk played at the corners of her lips, teasing me, taunting me.
I could feel my blush spread down to my neck and up to my hairline.
"OhMyFuckingGod!" She said too loudly. Realization dawned on her. "You were picturing him naked!"
"I was not!" I hissed under my breath.
"Who's picturing who naked?"
Why couldn't a black hole just suck me up and save me from this conversation? Sawyer was standing behind me and I just knew he heard exactly what she'd said. I was so embarrassed, I wished I could just disappear.
"Toni--"
I leapt to my feet and grabbed my best friend by her wrist. "Kaylee and I are going to run to the grocery store so I can make lasagna for dinner."
I don't think I've ever talked so fast in my entire life.
He stood in the space between the invisible barrier of the kitchen and living room, giving me a suspicious look.
"Awe, c'mon Toni--" Kaylee started to protest.
"We'll be back shortly!"
"Do you want me to drive you?" He asked thoughtfully.
That was actually really sweet, but I didn't want him anywhere near Kaylee until I could convince her to keep quiet. "No! We're fine, thank you."
"Okay, well--" he moved towards me like he meant to kiss me goodbye.
I couldn't tell, because I was already dragging Kaylee towards the door. "Kay, love you, bye!"
OhMyGod.
Did I just drop the "L" word?
I ran to the car, Kaylee in tow. My heart raced nervously. Why did I say that? How could I have been so careless? This wasn't real, I knew that. We were pretending. But still. You don't just drop the love bomb on someone.
"Slow the fuck down, would you nascar?" Kaylee said from the passenger seat.
The last few minutes were all a blur, I didn't remember stepping into the car, twisting the key into the ignition or speeding down the city streets. My thoughts were consumed with my mistake and what I could do to fix it.
"If I'm gonna die, it better be motherfucking epic." She said. Both of her hands were on the dash, holding on tightly. "Not because of some lame ass car accident."
"Sorry."
She gave me a sidelong glance, but didn't ask me what was wrong.
I found a parking space close to the entrance of the store, parked and took a deep breath. It's not a big deal. Maybe he didn't even hear me.
"Something bothering you?" She asked me when I walked past the shopping carts. She grabbed one of them, joining me in the vegetable section.
"No," I ran my fingers through my hair, scraping my nails against my scalp. "I just umm.. it's nothing."
She shrugged, crossing her arms over the bar of the cart.
I wasn't looking in front of me, I was biting my lip and looking over my shoulder when I collided with someone. It happened so fast. Objects went flying everywhere and I fell straight onto the floor upon impact.
"Why don't you watch where the fuck you're going, klutz!"
I blinked stupidly up at the woman in front of me. She looked to be the same age as me, her face growing red, her eyes on fire.
"I--I'm so, so sorry."
"Excuse me," Kaylee said sharply, ruffly shoving the woman who was towering over me. "But maybe you should watch where the fuck you'regoing. If your head wasn't off in la la land, conjuring up unicorns and glitter, maybe you would have seen her and moved. Out. Of. The. Fucking. Way."
The stranger was fuming.
Kaylee looked ready to commit murder.
I couldn't bring myself to intervene, all I could do was sit there on the floor and watch. Maybe if I would have done something, would have stepped in, things would have gone down differently.
Maybe Kaylee wouldn't have punched the stranger when she called her a nasty word.
Maybe the police wouldn't have shown up and taken my best friend away in handcuffs.
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