「其實點解咁堅決想剃⋯⋯哎。」我問到一半,醒起錐人痛處唔應該,立即收口,「咁我要點幫你,講句想你做和尚就得?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4olbjVnyQ
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「唔止㗎啦,仲要好誠心咁諗先得啦。」客人笑咪咪補充。363Please respect copyright.PENANARzPP7IRyx5
363Please respect copyright.PENANALWVS7EjcFO
「哦。」老實我都唔知點為之誠心,自私講我緊係唔想同客人結仇,但點解要做和尚,啫係我希望佢開心得唔得先,就算出家,唔可以做神父牧師架咩,做道士又得唔得?不過試試無壞:「咁你去做和尚啦!」363Please respect copyright.PENANASdC16JEwcC
363Please respect copyright.PENANAoT8y5NP9GQ
我都無學過佛,咁樣心態真係會得咩?363Please respect copyright.PENANAeXGB9luik6
363Please respect copyright.PENANAmlFq6haz0Y
師傅睇怕一早知唔得,都無等冷場,拍拍我背脊:「你知唔知和尚係做啲乜?如果唔知好難許願啫。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAurM9ksunKo
363Please respect copyright.PENANAkduvYzNqT1
「係咪敲經拜神食齋打坐果啲?」死,我又擔心自己在師傅面前答得太輕佻,於是恭恭敬敬講多句,「啫係好虔誠咁拜佛信佛嘅修行者?」363Please respect copyright.PENANA44PT17bCPB
363Please respect copyright.PENANAKjAA8xibxi
師傅無奈搖頭笑一聲,露出了滿口煙屎牙,「咁又唔話得你錯,和尚日日都做呢啲⋯⋯不如咁啦,你拎住閻摩降,上清涼山補吓習先。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAXvu6xtAXoC
363Please respect copyright.PENANAtT1aFeWkS4
我正想問清涼山係邊,客人立即無獎遊戲搶答:「五臺山我呀媽都去過啦,醫生話佢生唔到小朋友,佢就上山搵文殊菩薩,坐旅遊巴果陣巴士倒後衝落山,但去到山涯邊就煞住咗,呀媽話成車人唯獨佢見到菩薩顯靈,仲指示佢去拜送子觀音,送子觀音即係童女嘅化身之一,童女就送咗我俾佢做仔啦。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAvsuv2pztXd
363Please respect copyright.PENANAXKQgFeYtVb
「傻佬,我話清涼山啊,咩五臺山啊!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAwhBWOIFaYF
363Please respect copyright.PENANAVvrIm9549T
「唔係咩!東北方有處,名清涼山,從昔已來,諸菩薩眾於中止住;現有菩薩,名文殊師利,與其眷屬、諸菩薩眾一萬人俱,常在其中而演說法。《華嚴經》明明咁講架啵!《佛說文殊師利法寶藏陀羅尼經》咁講,有國名大振那。其國中有山號曰五頂。文殊師利童子遊行居住。為諸眾生於中說法。佛經咁講,人人都咁講!」363Please respect copyright.PENANA2xTA1wJj5L
363Please respect copyright.PENANAApmrOpCZDb
「哈!同我講經!咁你識唔識臨濟義玄!有一般學人向五臺山裏求文殊,早錯了也,五臺山無文殊!」師傅講到笑呵呵:「講經無撚用!拜佛哂鳩氣!你呀媽更加黐撚線!」
363Please respect copyright.PENANAr1BzxUeRKI
「唔準鬧我呀媽!唔準鬧我呀媽!唔準鬧我呀媽!」客人摸住自己耳仔,開始原地跳。「菩薩都無情講,菩薩都無情講!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAkwbODze3up
363Please respect copyright.PENANAFCO8SwBoa7
我無見過客人呀媽,唔到我亦唔識得評論,我唔識心理學,唔知咩叫自閉症,但知道要體諒多啲,師傅無再激客人,口講「你啱你啱」當投降,但我又唔見師傅有後悔過自己鬧人娘親,好似本身知道好多客人兩母子嘅事。363Please respect copyright.PENANAW8zeWsJXoI
363Please respect copyright.PENANAwesqwFhHRY
師傅望望我,叫我嗱嗱臨去一轉清涼山,佢話我剃開個頭唔知點收尾,本身預咗,因為我唔知點解要人做和尚,又唔知和尚係乜,但知完自然就得心應手。363Please respect copyright.PENANAh3Q9y2JT51
363Please respect copyright.PENANADkiLXxchK8
我心急問清涼山係邊,師傅就咁話:「唸返句咒就得,閻摩降識路架啦,同埋唔洗急到走夾唔抖嘅,頭先剃頭唔乾淨,元神又無斬甩到,反正你返嚟都要再搞一次。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAxqxcGw3MZ2
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我心入面馬上嚟反應,覺得自己好似一個交唔到成績表嘅學生。363Please respect copyright.PENANAnI41qC7bue
363Please respect copyright.PENANARNEjShgiCo
師傅又拍多下我背脊打氣:「俾啲精神!都唔關你事,係佢未諗清楚自己飛髮定剃頭啫,到時俾佢揀多次咪得!好好好,走先啦!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAyJPMLoLsaT
363Please respect copyright.PENANA11ZwjmvOp3
我點頭說知道,打算要走,行去門後又想拆門鈴,師傅話唔洗帶啷啷,因為我唔洗帶客人路,呢轉我自己去就得。363Please respect copyright.PENANAEx0YBCnyQu
363Please respect copyright.PENANAe1xKkgSJKi
客人想跟去,師傅叫佢唔好,而且未剃眉頭眼額,元神又跟咗入呢個新身體度,出門實會俾人斬,我宜家知咗咩係劍俠,就知師傅唔係真係講緊《天若有情》,油尖旺似乎一街都係劍俠,真係唔講無留意,失禮晒!363Please respect copyright.PENANA1jItmyQEVD
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「咁叔叔呢?佢都係奪咗人身體,劍俠唔會斬佢咩?」363Please respect copyright.PENANAitxOkJxhg5
363Please respect copyright.PENANAAgPbTzpUTG
師傅同客人講的野不嬲精彩,但我都唔想耽誤件事,我拋高剃刀,講句「請寶貝轉身。」363Please respect copyright.PENANAzPmmSEW9AJ
363Please respect copyright.PENANA10WgMdPWit
「哈!」師傅無理啦間冷笑一聲,「佢前世咁惡咁記仇,邊個敢開佢齋啊!」363Please respect copyright.PENANAq7806SEYpu
363Please respect copyright.PENANAxFK4uK83zu
師傅輕鬆講,我聽到背脊骨都直一直,完全係頸梗膊痛,但飛劍快,我呢刻已經唔再身處係飛髮舖。363Please respect copyright.PENANAvh6j8odluv
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清涼山?但呢度雪山嚟架喎。363Please respect copyright.PENANA9CtpLIFDiZ
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我落在積雪面上,兩腳立即插入雪中,深度差不多到膝頭哥。363Please respect copyright.PENANAEzAywLpck5
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我呢刻仲戇膠膠,以為去到雪山好撚出奇,屌你老母,我仲未知原來飛劍送咗我出太空。363Please respect copyright.PENANAbK2qfWTlIb
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俾啲心理準備我得唔得!