Wow. Sorry, guys.
Happy New Year!
I only got back yesterday night, and after sleeping for a grand total of 0 hours and 0 minutes, I am completely dazed. What makes it worst is that because it's jetlag and I had my friend's birthday party, I didn't even take a bloody nap.
So now guess who's head hurts so bad.
Anyway, Christmas was awesome. I got new Rieker boots that look like Converses but are way more comfortable, got a restock on all the products I need for my skin and my teeth, got a haircut (nothing very bold) and finally moved on from the toxic friends.
I think.
In all honesty, I still don't think I'm over them. After all that happened, I thought of them a lot. About how, if someone hadn't lied, I would still be friends with them. About how it isn't my fault. About how horrible they were, to just dismiss what I said like it meant nothing.
Nothing.
To say I'm unhappy about what happened is an understatement, but if they won't believe me, what am I to do? I know that I didn't talk shit about them, but someone obviously lied to them because the girl thought I talked shit about her.
When I didn't.
In a way, it makes me unhappy, because I feel like I deserve more respect. That my point of view should be heard instead of pushed away. But I'm not in her life anymore, and it was a good thing that I exited her life. At least I'm not actively hurting because of whatever she inflicted upon me. She wasn't outright bad, but sometimes it's the hidden demons that are the worst.
Not the outright ones.
Tomorrow is the start of a new term, where I hope I glow up and I hope guys see me as more than just another girl who's roaming these halls with them. It's sad, how teenage guys are blind. But plenty of new kids are coming, and you all know what that means.
New friends.
Sure, I love my friends, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I need a break from them because they remind me of those two that ruined my life. New people don't have connections to those two. New people will only see the me that I really am: someone who doesn't talk badly about others, someone who cares about what others have to say.
I hope.
I went to my friend's birthday party. It was fun. We went to a trampoline park and bounced from trampoline to trampoline for around an hour. Pretty fun, if you ask me. Then we went to her house and made pizza. And then played hide and seek. Then I left because I felt ill and wanted to sleep, but decided to take public transport because I'm stubborn. So I ended up taking a power nap on the bus.
Smart Alex.
Thankfully, I didn't miss my stop, and got off. Now I feel a bit better, but still under the weather. Hopefully I look better tomorrow, because otherwise it's going to be a horrid start to the new year and new term. I need to lock in and be myself.
Be yourself.
Be yourself.
Be yourself.
21Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRHiGRIaG1
Signing out,
Alex <3
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