So my ankle is pretty sprained.
Footloose is tomorrow. That's crazy, just to think of that. I mean, tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'm going to be performing for 120 people. Sunday for 240 people, because there's two shows.
How am I going to dance? I have no idea.
My mum is really talented with Chinese medicine and herbs, though, so she mixed a bunch of essential oils together and massaged my ankle, so it hasn't bruised that badly and it doesn't hurt that badly. Minor sprain, I think.
It still feels quite awkward to walk, though, and I strapped it to go to school. It didn't exactly hurt, but it was very weird to walk with it. Especially as no one really cared. My best friend and my drama friend did, but most of my friends couldn't give a bigger damn.
Sometimes I wonder if they really care or not.
Maybe they do, maybe they don't. What good does it do to bother myself about it? I'm used to it, at this point. Friends who don't care. Friends who push me away.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHsuKL8902
How many scenarios have I seen?
On a brighter note, my band is finally officially allowed to perform in Battle of the Bands. First, we asked my music teacher, but all he did was give us feedback. He didn't actually tell us if we were a green light (okay to perform) or not. So we had to go find another music teacher who said that we were totally ready.
This is why my music teacher is literally so demanding.
And during lunch, I accompanied my best friend to go ask him if she could be MC for Battle of the Bands. Except some of my louder friends came, and they disrupted a piano performance, except they don't have my music teacher as a teacher. So when he came to scold us (and boy did he scold us), he looked at me especially. Because I'm his student, and he 'expects better' from me.
To my friends: thanks a lot.
Sometimes the world pisses me off and I just can't stop. I feel like I'm falling, except I'm not, but it's like I am. It feels like I'm falling from 2000 meters up high, and there's nothing to stop me or to cushion my fall. No parachute, no whistle, no nothing.
Just me and the wind.
And I keep on falling and falling and I'm near collision, except I don't collide with water or earth. I fall into a crowd of people all shoving each other and trying to get to class on time.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSiLqv98up
School.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlVoTz9AWQ
I know I may be young, but I'm not stupid. School is a graveyard full of zombies ready to eat someone alive. Keep your head down and try to survive, because if you get popular without being super sporty, you can be sure that it's for all the wrong reasons.
I read 'The Yearbook' by Holly Bourne, and the depiction of school and feeling invisible is extraordinarily relatable. I love it, and I love Paige Vickers. There's this fire about her that is just special.
School is a monster that's going to swallow you whole. School is a swimming pool that you're consciously drowning in and yet you can't seem to pull yourself out.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS4WN9NJk9
School is a battlefield where wounds are dealt. Spoilers: those wounds don't close up.
Ever.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIrIsXJfGk
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqy0zd4GP2
Signing out,
Alex <3
ns 15.158.61.42da2
