說到我對於生命的態度，就像這座城市的變化，當原先的工業印記漸漸遠去摩登化的影子越來越明顯，我對生命的態度也同樣發生了很大的變化。
Speaking of my attitude towards life, just like the changes in this city, as the shadow of the original industrial mark gradually becoming more and more modernized, my attitude towards life has also changed a lot.
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就像這座城市的變化一樣，舊的工業都市漸漸的淡出人們的視野，新的摩登都市漸漸的進入到人們的視野，我曾經就生活在這座工業都市的末代，也見證了一個轉型的過程。
Just like the changes in this city, the old industrial city gradually faded out of people's vision, the new modern city gradually entered into people's vision, I used to live in the last generation of this industrial city, and also witnessed a transformation process.
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這意味著締造也意味著逝去，那些過往的光明因此而逝去，新的曙光也因此而到來，就像我自己的人生過往一般。
This means that creation also means passing away, and the past light is gone, and the new dawn is coming, just like the passing of my own life.
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我能夠走到今天的這一步有著太多的原因，一方面是因為我的運氣好每次都能夠趕上最佳的時運，另一方面也正是源於我不斷的思考和轉化為自己打下了很好的底子。
There are too many reasons why I can take this step today. On the one hand, because of my luck, I can catch up with the best fortune every time. On the other hand, it is also because of my constant thinking and transformation into myself. Laid a good foundation.
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如果說南京是一個成功的城市，那麽我原本的家鄉哈爾濱就並不是一個很成功的城市
If Nanjing is a successful city, then my original hometown of Harbin is not a very successful city.
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南京漸漸的褪去了工業都市的影子並走向了摩登化，走向了更加先進更加光明的道路，那麽哈爾濱則一直就在工業都市的水平停滯不前。
Nanjing gradually faded away from the shadow of the industrial city and became modernized, toward a more advanced and brighter road, then Harbin has been stagnant at the level of the industrial city.
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城市的發展一些時候也能和不同類型的人對上影子，最開始大家都出生在同樣的時代同樣的環境，只不過每個人的思考方式和選擇的方向不同罷了。
The development of the city can sometimes be in shadow with different types of people. At first, everyone was born in the same environment in the same era, but everyone has a different way of thinking and a different direction of choice.
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決定這一切的因素很多，一個是命運的好壞，不過相比較這些真正最能決定這一切的一個重要因素便是對待長遠問題的思考方式和態度。
There are many factors that determine all this. One is the quality of fate, but compared to these, one of the most important factors that really determines this is the way of thinking and attitude towards long-term issues.
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不是每個城市都能有絕佳的先天條件和機遇，也不是每個人都可以擁有最佳的命運和自身條件，關鍵就在於如何思考和運用自身。
Not every city can have excellent innate conditions and opportunities, nor everyone can have the best destiny and their own conditions. The key is how to think and use themselves.
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如果說南京的成功是因為絕佳的機遇和本身充裕的資源，那麽哈爾濱同樣擁有這些條件為何還會失敗呢?
If Nanjing 's success is due to its excellent opportunities and abundant resources, why would Harbin still fail with these conditions?
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這成敗的決定關鍵點就在於思考的深度和對長遠方向的把握和洞察。
The key to this success or failure lies in the depth of thinking and the grasp and insight of the long-term direction.
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就像我見過的一些人一樣，他們本身也有著很好的文化水平和資歷，但是依舊活成了一個失敗者，正因為他們不會思考也沒有洞察和把握長遠方向的能力，況且那個年代好的機遇基本上觸手可得。
Like some people I have met, they also have a very good cultural level and qualifications, but they still live as a loser, because they do not think or have the ability to perceive and grasp the long-term direction. Good opportunities are basically within reach at That period.
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接下來的話我就直說，其實我的奶奶就是這樣的一個人生失敗者，她為何而失敗正是失敗在沒有長遠的眼光和把握，就像那個年代的大多數紅衛兵一樣只看到眼前的利益看不到未來的光明方向。
The next thing I will say straight away is that my grandma is actually such a loser in life. Why she failed is just a failure without long-term vision and grasp, just like most of the Red Guards of that era, she only saw the immediate benefits Can't see the bright direction of the future.
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她和那時候身邊的多數人一樣加入了紅衛兵的造反隊伍，也因此和那些人一樣成為了不會思考的機器，成為了一群自私自利的流氓土匪。
She joined the Red Guard's rebellious team like most of the people at that time, and therefore, like those people, she became a machine that could not think, and became a group of selfish and mobster bandits.
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文化大革命是一個醜惡的，黑暗的時代，相比較我生活的時代來說我生活的時代要光明的多不過生活在那種環境下依舊沒有感受到有多少光明，但是我依舊是幸運的。
The Cultural Revolution is an ugly, dark age. Compared to the era in which I lived, I live in a much brighter era. However, I still do n't feel much light in that environment, but I am still lucky.
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我慶幸自己能夠有一個機會能夠接觸到永久的陽光照射，我能夠有機會在那個本就黑暗的環境中感受到短暫的陽光，我能夠有機會遠離那些最骯髒的紅衛兵思想，我感到非常慶幸。
I am fortunate that I have a chance to be exposed to permanent sun exposure, I can have the opportunity to feel the short sunlight in that already dark environment, I can have the opportunity to stay away from the dirtiest Red Guard thoughts, I am very thankful.
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而也正是因為這樣的背景造就了我奶奶的變態人格，也因此我的媽媽一直就想方設法的讓我能夠遠離這樣黑暗的影響，直到現在我想到這些我依舊感到後怕不已。
And it is precisely because of this background that my grandma's perverted personality has been created, so my mother has always tried to keep me away from such dark influences. Until now, when I think about it, I still feel terrified.
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我記得我媽媽曾經這樣對我說過："你奶奶當初嫁給爺爺之前就和其他男人有勾當，後來這件事傳了出去就讓爺爺很是難堪"
I remember my mother once said to me this way: "Your grandma used to deal with other men before marrying grandpa. Later, when this incident spread, it made grandpa very embarrassed."
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"因為饒河縣是一個非常小且封閉的縣城，因此這件事情那裏的所有人都知道了，我的爺爺忍受著很多輿論就只能喝酒麻醉自己，你的奶奶就是這樣毀掉了家中的第一代人"
"Because Raohe County is a very small and closed county, everyone here knows about this matter. My grandpa endured a lot of public opinion and could only drink and anesthetize himself. That's how your grandmother ruined her family First generation"
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"你的大伯能這麽隨是因為他不生活在爺爺奶奶家，那時候爺爺奶奶家天天都在打仗"
"Your uncle can be so casual because he doesn't live in the grandparents' house"
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"所以那時候家裏的孩子性情都很不好，你的二伯本來是家中最有文化的孩子，但是他就成了奶奶教育出來的失敗品"
"So at that time, the children in the family were all very bad temperament. Your Erbo was originally the most educated child in the family, but he became a failure of grandma's education"
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"你的二伯和你的奶奶一樣養成了自私貪婪的惡習，你的奶奶就是這樣毀掉了家中的第二代，之後她又想用著同樣的方式毀掉你的時候，我阻止了這些的發生!"
"Your second uncle, like your grandma, has developed a selfish and greedy vice. This is how your grandma destroyed the second generation of the family. When she wanted to destroy you in the same way, I stopped These happen! "
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我記得那時候聽到媽媽的這番話時，我恍然明白了一些什麼但是依舊有這樣一個問題環繞在我的腦海中，那就是："她究竟如何差點將我毀滅的?"
I remember when I heard my mother's words at that time, I suddenly understood something but there was still such a problem in my mind, that is: "How did she almost destroy me?"
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其實這些我在之前就早有提及，不過這一次我要說的更加具體點，這一段話來源於我媽媽那時候的原話："那時候你奶奶不僅不許你和同齡的朋友有來往，還不斷的將她的扭曲價值觀傳輸給你，她不希望你有想法不希望你去思考，她做的就是最壞的打算就是希望你永遠停留在最低的思想水平"
In fact, I mentioned this earlier, but this time I want to be more specific. This paragraph comes from the original words of my mother at that time: "At that time, your grandma not only forbids you to have contact with friends of the same age, She also constantly transmits her distorted values to you. She does n't want you to have ideas or want you to think. What she does is the worst plan is to hope that you will always stay at the lowest level of thought"
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"那個時候你在幼兒園就從來不和其他人說話，直到奶奶離開後你才擁有過真正屬於自己的快樂"這便是我媽媽對此最後的一句話。
"At that time, you never talked to other people in kindergarten, and you didn't have the happiness that really belongs to you until your grandmother left." This is my mother's last sentence about this.
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當我聽到這些的時候我恍然大悟，也同樣為此感到後背一陣發涼，我即發覺自己真的太幸運了，也同樣對此感到一陣後怕。
When I heard this, I suddenly realized that I also felt a chill in my back. I realized that I was really lucky, and I was also afraid of it for a while.
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如今我不再感到這方面的擔憂，並且留給我奶奶的最後時間已經不多了，我也不再覺得需要有什麼仇恨和過意不去，畢竟我早就離開了那個地方，也怡然是一種解脫了。
Now I no longer feel worried in this regard, and the last time left for my grandma is running out, and I no longer feel the need for any hatred or gratification. After all, I left the place long ago, and it is a relief.
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如果說我最終的一點遺憾是什麼，那麽最終的遺憾便是自己未能讓奶奶回心轉意的改變，畢竟她一輩子都未曾在別人的視角考量過，她的一輩子就是這樣自私自利。
If I say what my final regret is, then the ultimate regret is that she failed to make grandma change her mind. After all, she has never considered it from the perspective of others in her life, and she has been so selfish in her life.
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就像前面說過的那樣，我的經歷和我看到的東西促使我很早就開始思考許多十分深入的問題，不僅僅是人生哲學不僅僅是看待黑暗的態度，這很難用任何言語來解釋。
As I said before, my experience and what I saw prompted me to start thinking about many very in-depth issues very early. It 's not just the philosophy of life, not just the attitude of looking at darkness, This is difficult to explain with any words.
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