這是一段維持了3年的虛幻友情，我曾為了維護這個虛幻的美夢做了很多事情，它曾帶給我溫暖也曾帶給我撫慰，但是在後來的時間中這一切漸漸的變成了一種累贅，因此我戳破了這個美夢也因此和他反目成仇。
This is an imaginary friendship that has been maintained for 3 years. I have done a lot of things to maintain this imaginary dream. It has brought me warmth and comfort, but in the later time this has gradually become a kind of Cumbersome, so I broke through this sweet dream and turned against him.
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一切都要從2016年的冬天說起，那時候我在上海的一所國際學校上學，就像我先前所說的那樣我的家庭再度爆發了冷戰。
Everything starts with the winter of 2016. At that time, I was attending an international school in Shanghai. As I said earlier, my family once again experienced a cold war.
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每週回家我都非常小心謹慎，就生怕做出一點不對的事情，因為很多時候我即使沒有做什麼錯誤的事情都要被無端的指責，我不知道為何我必須要忍受著這些，也很不明白為何一夜之間他們都變了個樣子，突然就變得不可理喻，其實是因為他們在處理感情問題上的不成熟，因此我就被迫成了一個“背鍋俠”。
When I go home every week, I am very cautious, and I am afraid to do something wrong, because many times I have to be blamed for nothing even if I haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t know why I have to endure these things. I don't understand why they all changed overnight, and suddenly they became unreasonable. In fact, it was because they were immature in dealing with emotional issues, so I was forced to become a "backman".
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那些時候我明明沒有做錯什麼，也會無端的遭到各種指責，只要家裏人心情不好的時候，因為在亞洲人的傳統當中子女很多時候被認為是一個“附屬品”，而很多人又不肯剪掉這根“辮子”，而這也正是這種情況的一個來源。
At that time, I didn’t do anything wrong, and I was blamed for all kinds of reasons. As long as the family is in a bad mood, because in the Asian tradition, children are often regarded as an “accessory”, and many people And he refused to cut off this "braid", which is also a source of this situation.
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不過我恰好又藉著在上海國際讀書的機會初步認識到了西方的思想精神，這些新奇的觀點不斷的衝擊著我的頭腦。
However, I happened to take the opportunity of studying in Shanghai International to have a preliminary understanding of the Western ideological spirit. These novel ideas continue to impact my mind.
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而就在那時候我在QQ上認識了這個人，我將自己化裝成一個台灣人和他交流，因為我那時候非常嚮往去台灣生活，當我看到台灣身份的高貴之時這刺激了我。
And at that time I met this person on QQ, I disguised myself as a Taiwanese and communicated with him, because I was very longing for life in Taiwan at that time, when I saw the noble status of Taiwan, this stimulated me .
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另一方面臺灣和西方一樣是民主制度，人民同樣享有自由，另外由於文化背景大徑相同，再加上我看到了臺灣人的文雅和溫和這使得我越來越希望居住在臺灣，也越來越希望自己就是在臺灣長大。
On the other hand, Taiwan is as democratic as the West, and the people also enjoy freedom. In addition, because of the same cultural background and the same path, coupled with the gentleness and gentleness of Taiwanese people, I have become more and more hopeful to live in Taiwan The more I hope that I grew up in Taiwan.
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劇烈的比較和無時不衝擊著我，從那時起我越來越以自己原本的出身為恥，因為我很清楚在我家鄉也就是中國東北一帶的風氣，那裏的人普遍都喜歡忽悠，野蠻粗俗是那最常見的審美觀。
The violent comparison and the impact on me from time to time, since then I have become more and more ashamed of my original background, because I am very aware of the customs in my hometown, northeast China, where people generally like to flicker, Barbarism is the most common aesthetic.
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因此這使我看到了某個地位的存在，所以我將自己裝扮成了台灣人在QQ上，我獲得了很多人的關注當然這個人關注了我很多。
So this made me see the existence of a certain position, so I pretended to be a Taiwanese on QQ. I got a lot of people's attention. Of course this person paid attention to me a lot.
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2017年的夏天我們曾在煙臺見過一面，那是我和他第一次卻也是最後一次見面，2020年的今天我曾計劃和他在上海相見，不過疫情的爆發給了我機會思考，最終決定無論如何我依舊要面對現實，而且我也已經得到了承認和基本的尊重，再加上後期的他也漸漸的變得麻木漸漸的不再與人交流。
We met in Yantai in the summer of 2017. That was the first and last time I met him. I planned to meet him in Shanghai today in 2020, but the outbreak of the epidemic gave me the opportunity to think, In the end it was decided that I still had to face reality anyway, and I had already gained recognition and basic respect. In addition, in the later period, he also gradually became numb and gradually stopped communicating with people.
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還是因為這個社會環境所造就的，一個人與人之間充滿了冷漠和奸詐的環境，一個到處都宣揚著平庸主義的環境，而我最為厭惡的卻也正是平庸主義。
It is because of this social environment that one person is filled with an indifferent and treacherous environment, an environment that promotes mediocrity everywhere, and what I hate the most is mediocreism.
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再加上當我來到美國投奔自由世界之後，生活環境的不同和社會規則的不同，我和他之間的思想隔閡也越來越深，加上後來藉著疫情的機會我重新思考了人生，我發覺人就一定要有一把“尖刀”，否則就沒有底氣活在這個世界上，而當我看到這位朋友的處境時我也曾試圖告訴他你一定要有“刺刀見紅”的精神，但是他並沒有採納我的建議而是選擇了甘願平庸，選擇了女性化的思考方式，選擇了沉淪在如同毒品一樣的童話美夢當中。
In addition, when I came to the United States to join the free world, the difference in living environment and social rules, the ideological gap between me and him became deeper and deeper, and later I took the opportunity of the epidemic to rethink my life, I found that people must have a "sharp knife", otherwise they would have no confidence to live in this world, and when I saw this friend's situation, I also tried to tell him that you must have the spirit of "the bayonet sees red" But, instead of taking my advice, he chose to be mediocre, choose a feminine way of thinking, and choose to sink into a fairy tale dream like drugs.
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我依然發覺，如果我不暴露真實身份就無法驚醒他，但是即使我最終暴露了真實身份也依舊無法動搖這樣一個早已枯萎的靈魂，一個在人生開始就選擇自甘平庸的人，我最終為了自己的長遠利益而放棄了他。
I still find that if I don’t reveal my true identity, I can’t wake him up, but even if I finally reveal my true identity, I still can’t shake such a withered soul, a person who chooses to be mediocre at the beginning of life, and I end up for myself Gave up his long-term interests.
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這時我忽然感到十分慶幸，我當初沒有和他走的太深，也因此沒有被影響的很大也就還有機會可以追尋自己的新生活，也就不會陷入這樣一個甜美的陷阱當中，但也正是從那時開始煙台便和我再也沒有了任何關聯。
At this time, I suddenly felt very fortunate. I didn’t go too far with him at the beginning, and because of this, I was not greatly affected. I still have the opportunity to pursue my new life, and I won’t fall into such a sweet trap, but It was also from then on that Yantai had no connection with me anymore.
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