（也許這一切可能發生，也許這一切將永遠只是個虛擬章節 Maybe all this might happen, maybe all this will always be just a virtual chapter）
我記得一生中我曾經到訪過佳木斯3次，前兩次是在我小學5年級和6年級，最後一次是在7年級的時候，，至今我都在想究竟要不要回去，我清楚若是回去那些經歷將是令我愛恨交集的一個章節。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKAT4xtr0r
I remember that I have visited Jiamusi 3 times in my life. The first two were in my 5th and 6th grades in elementary school. The last time was in 7th grade. I still think about whether to go back or not. I know if I go back Those experiences will be a chapter that makes me love and hate each other.
因為我的很多親戚就生活在佳木斯，這裏面有些人為我提供了參考和一部分比較實際的支持，另一部分人卻又難以令我談得上愛，又或者還有一部分人至今我都感覺十分生疏或者就是那些人不太容易交流進去。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZINBNSOi6
Because many of my relatives live in Jiamusi, there are some people who provide me with reference and some practical support, but some of them are difficult to make me fall in love, or there are still some people I feel very rusty so far Or even those people are not easy to communicate in.
如果我第三次訪問佳木斯我一定會有這樣的感受，只是第一次和第二次訪問佳木斯的時候我還沒有一個關鍵點，因此就沒有產生過這樣的感受，一直到我找到了這些關鍵點之後觀點就不一樣了。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwuF9ASFUn
If I visit Jiamusi for the third time, I will definitely feel this way. It’s just that when I visited Jiamusi for the first and second time, I didn’t have a key point, so I didn’t have such a feeling until I found these keys After clicking, the point of view is different.
而在美國待的時間越長，看待原先的那些事物態度也就越來越不一樣，就像一些人最後距離自己越來越遠而一些人又走進自己的視野當中，離自己越來越遠的人有一些曾經和我很親近，而走進我的人又和我截然不同，我想等我再度訪問佳木斯的時候就可以很清楚的看到這些距離了吧。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Rue9Y5w6K
And the longer you stay in the United States, the more different you look at the original things, just like some people get farther and farther away from themselves and some people come into their own horizons and get more and more away from themselves Some people who were far away were very close to me, and the people who walked into me were very different from me. I want to see these distances clearly when I visit Jiamusi again.
雖然一切還都是一個未知數，現在能有的也只有各種各樣的猜測，這些我也不多說，至少此前的那些故事我還記得很清楚也願意提及這些。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLxw6fYeCw
Although everything is still an unknown, there are only a variety of guesses that I can have now. I will not say much about these. At least I remember the previous stories very clearly and I am willing to mention them.
第一次訪問佳木斯的時候是我家人帶我一起去的，而第二次只有我父親帶我去往佳木斯，這兩次訪問給我的印象都截然不同。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRHIme7Tts
When my family visited Jiamusi for the first time, my family took me with me, and for the second time, only my father took me to Jiamusi. The two visits gave me very different impressions.
印象中佳木斯是一座看上去非常安靜而又祥和的小城市，那裏的環境很好人也很好，我的大致印象中那裏的生活是非常愜意的，相比較中國其它地方，佳木斯的消費價格很便宜。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtakfzj7j8
The impression of Jiamusi is a very quiet and peaceful small city. The environment there is very good and the people are very good. My general impression is that life there is very comfortable. Compared with other places in China, Jiamusi's consumer price is very cheap.
我曾到訪過我大伯在郊外的辦公區，那裏距離一間小酒廠很近，為了預防盜竊那裏修建了一堵高達6米的水泥牆，還在牆的上段放了很多釘子，辦公區 的大院子裏養了兩條大狗，一隻德國牧羊犬和一隻品相一般的藏獒，當我在那的時候兩條狗都被拴在另一件空置的庫房裏，我被告知不能接近這兩條狗。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarVnDRcOof
I have visited my uncle’s office area on the outskirts, which is close to a small winery. To prevent theft, a 6-meter-long cement wall was built there, and a lot of nails were placed on the upper part of the wall. The office area There are two big dogs in the big yard, a German Shepherd dog and a Tibetan mastiff in good looks. When I was there, both dogs were tied to another vacant warehouse. I was told not to Close to these two dogs.
那周圍的環境還算不錯，院子裏有一片自己開墾的小田地，他們種植了一些蔬菜在那，看上去這一切的一切就是那樣的愜意平和，雖然僅僅是一個表面的印象。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd63KvNg5r7
The surrounding environment is not bad. There is a small field in the yard that they cultivated. They planted some vegetables there. It seems that all this is so pleasant and peaceful, although it is only a superficial impression.
不過好在當我在的時候表面上能夠看上去很和諧，至少這可以讓我感到一絲安慰，至少還可以欺騙一下自己，儘管我心裏還是明白背後的糾葛複雜的多，也明白自己不能夠改變這些事實。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ovmBRK8mb
Fortunately, when I was there, on the surface, it seemed to be very harmonious. At least it made me feel a little comfort. At least I could deceive myself. Although I still understood the complexities behind me and understood that I could not change These facts.
不過兩次訪問我都談不上愛和恨，只是心中一直有一種無形的壓迫感源於這種錯綜複雜的背後關係，我希望能夠得到解釋但是卻一直未能發問，我大致看清了這背後關系的基本形式卻又迫切希望知道根源，因為那時候我就很想要明白曾經家庭的暴力衝突因為什麼而來，而那個時候我就早已明白一切的起因不可能會像書上說的那麽簡單173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoLJPhnxwu
However, I couldn’t talk about love and hate during the two visits. It’s just that there has always been an invisible sense of oppression in my heart from this complicated relationship. I hope I can get an explanation but I haven’t been able to ask questions. The basic form of relationship, but I desperately want to know the root cause, because at that time I wanted to understand what caused the violent conflict in the family. At that time, I already knew that the cause of everything could not be as simple as the book said.
為了找到答案我想盡辦法的參閱了很多當時現有的信息，一些來自網絡上的部分文章一些來自平時在電視節目上看過的社會內容，比如法制、家庭倫理這類的頻道我那時候經常看。173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajjCvanFHL
In order to find the answer, I tried my best to read a lot of information available at that time. Some articles from the Internet came from social content that I usually watched on TV shows, such as channels such as the legal system and family ethics. I often watched at that time.
我不知道最後會不會再度訪問，我也只希望那一切還能像表面上那樣能夠和平173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNB31uW1hg
I don’t know if I will visit again in the end, and I just hope that everything will be as peaceful as it seems
