這兩個地方分別坐落在南京的大行宮站和珠江路站，曾經也是我經常去往的兩個地方。
These two places are located in Nanjing's Daxinggong Station and Zhujiang lu Station, and they used to be two places I often go to.
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記憶當中自我15歲的春天開始我便經常去位於大行宮站1912街區的一間酒吧喝酒，那時候家中的冷戰正接近尾聲。
In my memory, when I was 15 years old, I often went to a bar in the 1912 block of Daxinggong Station to drink. At that time, the cold war at home was approaching the end.
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那間酒吧不是很大，但是非常古典且安靜，那裏可以吸菸，每次我坐在那裏的時候都會點一杯雞尾酒並抽上一支煙，用酒精和尼古丁來麻醉自己從而賦予自己做白日夢的靈感。
The bar is not very big, but it is very classical and quiet, where smoking is possible. Every time I sit there, I order a cocktail and smoke a cigarette, and anesthetize myself with alcohol and nicotine to give myself whiteness Inspiration for daydreams.
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於是那裏便成了我的另外一個心靈寄託，在自己內心最為糾結最為感到苦悶的時候，那裏成了我最信賴的一個依靠。
So it became my other spiritual sustenance, and when I was the most entangled and saddened in my heart, it became my most reliable support.
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那是一個令我感到兩面糾結的時候，一方面我曾希望回到孩童時代重新享受一個健康快樂的時光而另一方面則是未來的美國身份。
It was a time when I felt entangled on both sides, on the one hand I had hoped to go back to my childhood and enjoy a healthy and happy time while on the other hand it was the future American identity.
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對於那時的我來說，我即希望曾經的光明能夠回到自己身上，但是又明白這樣的可能性很小於是則只能將最終的希望依託在當時看來很渺茫的未來，我感到很糾結我感到無時無刻都面對著無盡的壓力，沒有人知道我的苦衷也沒有人會聆聽。
For me at that time, I hoped that the former light could return to myself, but I realized that this possibility is much smaller than that, and I can only rely on the final hope in the future that seems slim at the time. I feel very much Tangled I felt endless pressure all the time, no one knew my pains and no one would listen.
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這種糾結和壓力的根源便是因為自己正夾在一條狹窄的夾縫當中，即無法再次返回到過去的光芒當中又要面向前方朝著十分迷茫的未來前進，你不知道未來會是什麼樣子你不清楚未來會發生什麽畢竟未來的一切都是未知數，即使你把最終的希望都寄託給未來你依舊無法放下這顆心，因為你不清楚未來的樣子。
The root of this kind of entanglement and pressure is because you are caught in a narrow gap, that is, you ca n’t return to the light of the past again, and you have to face forward to a very confused future. It ’s not clear what will happen in the future. After all, everything in the future is unknown. Even if you put your ultimate hope in the future, you still ca n’t let go of this heart, because you do n’t know what the future will look like.
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戰鬥往往進行到快要成功的時候你越是感到迷茫，因為當你距離成功越接近的時候面對的未知數就越多。
Fights often proceed until you are about to succeed, the more confused you are, because the more unknowns you face when you are closer to success.
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我每當我喝完酒抽完煙之後都會做上一陣子白日夢，我會幻想自己生活在一個理想的家庭當中一個理解自己尊重自己的家庭，幻想著自己擁有最理想的一切，幻想著自己回到孩童時代重新獲得這些。
I will daydream for a while after I finish drinking and smoking. I will imagine that I live in an ideal family. A family that understands respect for myself, imagines that I have the most ideal everything, imagines Return to childhood to regain these.
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那時候我在一個位於上海閔行區的私立學校上學，每逢週末會返回位於南京江北的家，其實說句實話我很希望我的家能像自己理想中的那樣，但是現實往往令我感到傷感，我找不到一個可以寄託心靈的地方從而彌補這份幼年時就缺少的一份來自外界的依靠，畢竟我也和你們說過這些。
At that time, I went to a private school in Minhang District, Shanghai, and returned to my home in Jiangbei, Nanjing every weekend. In fact, I really hope that my home will be like what I wanted, but the reality is often sad I can't find a place where I can trust my soul to make up for the lack of external support that I lacked in my childhood. After all, I have also told you this.
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於是這個期望破滅了，我不得不再次撿起槍和刺刀去投入戰鬥，去信奉回最初相信的戰鬥哲學，就這樣我走出了中國從而作為留學生來到美國。
So this expectation was shattered, and I had to pick up the gun and bayonet again to fight, to believe back the fighting philosophy I originally believed in. So I went out of China and came to the United States as an international student.
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在那之後的夏天我又再次返回過中國，我首先來到的便是這個地方這個承載了我許多心靈依靠的地方。
In the summer after that, I returned to China again. The first thing I came to was this place, which carried many of my soul.
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