根據我的密友劉振漢的回憶，他在去往法國留學前曾經就在南京仙林待過一段時間，一開始那裏對於我來說是一個有些神秘的地方。
According to the memories of my close friend Liu Zhenhan, he spent some time in Nanjing Xianlin before going to France to study abroad. At the beginning, it was a mysterious place for me.
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此前我從未去過仙林，一直以來我在南京這座城市最常去的地方就是鼓樓站和周邊的一些地方，直到有一天我突發奇想決定來仙林看看。
I have never been to Xianlin before. The most frequent places I have been to in Nanjing have been Gulou Station and some places around it. Until one day, I suddenly wanted to visit Xianlin.
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那一天我在網上查找到了一家土耳其餐廳，那家餐廳名叫土耳其多拿餐廳，坐落在仙林而且正好那一天我想抽一壺水煙於是我便抱著試一試的心態去了那裏。
I found a Turkish restaurant on the Internet that day. The restaurant is called the Turkish restaurant. It is located in Xianlin and just that day I wanted to smoke a hookah. So I went there with the mentality of trying it out.
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那一天下午我搭乘地鐵1號線去了仙林，並順著網絡地圖的方向找到了那間土耳其多拿餐廳，那是一件小店不大但是很安靜。
That afternoon I took Metro Line 1 to Xianlin, and found the Turkish restaurant Dora in the direction of the online map. It was a small restaurant but very quiet.
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我在後來便將這家店推薦給了我的密友劉振漢，從此他經常前往那間餐廳吃東西在他前往法國之前。
I later recommended this store to my close friend Liu Zhenhan, and since then he often went to the restaurant to eat before he went to France.
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仙林那裏有著一條餐館街，各式各樣的餐館都有，而這一間土耳其餐廳便是我的首選，那裏安靜沒有其它事情的干擾，另外那間餐館裏可以抽水煙。
There is a restaurant street in Xianlin, and there are all kinds of restaurants, and this Turkish restaurant is my first choice. There is no interference from other things. There is also a hookah in that restaurant.
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在我旅居美國之前我未曾想過戒菸，留學美國的時候從來沒有抽過煙但是每當回到中國之後就發覺自己身邊有著太多的干擾，一些時候為了能讓自己安靜下來就不得不抽菸。
I never thought about quitting smoking before I lived in the United States. I never smoked when I studied in the United States. But when I returned to China, I found that there were too many disturbances around me. Sometimes, I had to smoke to calm myself down.
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我從14歲開始吸菸直到旅居美國後才正式戒菸，我記得那時候我找不到任何的依靠直到有一群高年級的同學遞給我一根爆珠香菸。
I started smoking at the age of 14 and did not officially quit smoking until I lived in the United States. I remember that I couldn't find anything to rely on until a group of senior students handed me a burst bead cigarette.
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那是我人生中第一次吸菸，那種尼古丁進入身體後的感覺讓你最開始覺得有點暈，你會感到腦海被暫時清空了一樣，你只想著睡覺，在那個時候當我感到很惶恐不安的時刻，我都是用這種方式讓自己睡下去的。
That was the first time I smoked in my life. The feeling of nicotine after entering the body made you feel a little dizzy at first. You will feel that your mind has been temporarily cleared. You just want to sleep. At that time, when I felt very At the moment of panic, I used this method to let myself sleep.
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在最需要心靈依靠的時候卻要忍受著那種無厘頭的傷痛，不再是來自別人而是來自我自己的家裏，外界對你不會抱有任何的同情，這時候香菸也許就可以成為最佳的依靠至少那時候的選擇只有這些，當我拼盡全力的去思索但是依舊打不開那扇門的時候。
When you need the most to rely on your soul, you have to endure the senseless pain, no longer from other people but from my own home. The outside world will not have any sympathy for you, then cigarettes may become The best depends on at least those options at that time. When I tried my best to think about it but still couldn't open the door.
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不過卻也正是那樣極為痛苦的心靈體驗讓我明白了很多，那段時間我不斷的學習和建立著一門新的哲學，即使再怎麽艱難我依舊要做到因為除了這樣以外沒有別的依靠可選。
But it was precisely that extremely painful spiritual experience that made me understand a lot. During that time, I continued to learn and establish a new philosophy. Even if it is difficult, I still have to do it because there is no other way to rely on selected.
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這種心靈上的傷痛是刻骨銘心的，但是我明白既然面對過就應當從中提取出光明來，於是我便開始了我的深度思索，我想方設法的尋找著轉化的手段。
This kind of mental pain is memorable, but I understand that since I have faced it, I should extract the light from it, so I started my in-depth thinking, and I tried to find a means of transformation.
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但是這個過程又是相當痛苦的，因此一些人選擇了逃避但是這根本不能解決問題，而獨自面對這樣的問題就不得不承受巨大的心靈之痛，既然要思索和總結首先就要面對它!
But this process is quite painful, so some people choose to escape but this can't solve the problem at all, and facing such a problem alone has to suffer a huge pain in the soul. Since you want to think and summarize, you must face it !
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那一天下午我走進了這間土耳其餐廳點了一壺水煙，我一邊抽著水煙一邊思考著一些事情，伴隨著水煙壺內的咕咚聲我思索著那些事情。
That afternoon I walked into this Turkish restaurant and ordered a pot of hookah. I was thinking about some things while smoking a hookah, and I was thinking about those things with the hum of the hookah.
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水煙的味道很甜，薄荷混合西瓜的味道再加上一絲尼古丁，對於我來說這樣的味道就像是陽光和黑暗的混合，另外一種我喜歡的組合就是熱帶水果加上薄荷。
The taste of hookah is very sweet. The flavor of mint mixed with watermelon plus a hint of nicotine. For me, this taste is like a mixture of sunlight and darkness. Another favorite combination is tropical fruit and mint.
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因為那種口味組合就像是復刻版的夏日童年，當我抽上這種口味的水煙時心情都會格外的好，這時我會做一個簡單的白日夢就幻想自己活在那樣的童年當中，稍微滿足一下自己之後便繼續著思索。
Because that kind of taste combination is like a re-engraved version of summer childhood. When I smoke this kind of hookah, my mood will be particularly good. At this time, I will have a simple daydream to imagine myself living in that kind of childhood. , After a little satisfaction, continue to think.
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不過我不常選擇那樣的口味組合，這在有些時候反而會干擾我的思考，這些或許會讓我想到自己童年的那些痛苦經歷至少一些時候會是這樣。
However, I don't often choose that kind of taste combination, which sometimes interferes with my thinking. These may remind me of the painful experiences of my childhood at least some times.
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“我的童年背上了太多的包袱，我的父母那時候根本不會面對問題也從未像我這樣早早就有思索過，因此他們不可能明白我這樣開始的思索究竟有多麼痛苦”
"My childhood carried too much baggage. My parents didn't face the problem at that time and never thought about it as early as I did, so they couldn't understand how painful the thinking I started was"
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“他們其實就像是巨嬰，而我在本該享受關愛的時候就不得不要像成年人一樣去考量一些問題，不過這也不見得是件壞事至少這能成為我的優勢”
"They are actually like giant babies, and I had to consider some issues like adults when I was supposed to enjoy caring, but this is not necessarily a bad thing at least it can be my advantage."
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這段話是一次我在一座公園內和一名大學老師交談時說過的。
I said this once when I was talking to a university teacher in a park.
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“一味的將一切寄托給外界是靠不住的，只有自己思索出來的才是最能信任的!”
"Blindly trusting everything to the outside world is unreliable, and only what you think about is the most trustworthy!"
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這便是我一直以來堅守的信念，只有自己思索出戰術才能夠將自己帶向光明。
This is the belief that I have always adhered to. Only when I think about the tactics can I bring myself to the light.
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