Kat428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY2RbcWgDC
May 21, 2005
428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRZYuSeooU
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Same day
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Why did I come here today?
I knew it was a bad idea.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0ZfBEguwk
I knew I would see Ben.
That's exactly why you came.
No, I just wanted to see the graduation... of all the people I don't know.
Crap. Maybe I did come for him.
I mean, I even brought his leather jacket, hoping it would give me a reason to talk to him.
What is wrong with me?
At least everyone just assumes I'm upset over the breakup. I wore his jacket every night, just to make it more convincing, of course.
Not because it smelled like him.
Nope, definitely not.
I have to say, he certainly looked heartbroken these past few months. He is a pretty good actor, even I almost believed it.
But I know better.
At least he made me feel like less of a loser for pining after my ex-boyfriend. Fake ex-boyfriend.
Maybe I should thank him? Would that be weird?
I stare at him from across the lawn, wishing I could just go talk to him instead of this stupid Jonathan guy. He's not even funny. Or even that cute.
Not like Ben.
"So, Johnny..." Vanessa smirks, her eyes following Nate as the guys walk over.
She throws her arm around my shoulder before continuing. "What do you think of my girl Katie-bug?" She's been pressuring me to get with him for months, despite my lack of interest.
I pull away from her, gasping. "Vanessa Burke!" I can't believe her! Who does that?
She's been pretty annoying since she quit drinking. I found her nearly unconscious in a bar three months ago and it's been rocky ever since I took her for a stomach pumping. Seeing your friend almost die does something to you.
But did she thank me for saving her life? Nope. Instead she tortures me with Johnny-Be-Lame.
Johnny laughs awkwardly, at least having the decency to look embarrassed. "I don't really know yet..."
"Oh come on! You've been asking me to introduce you for months now." She crosses her arms, scoffing. "I think you already know."
I could murder her right now. I wish my eyes could shoot lasers.
They continue talking about me as though I'm not even there, but I can't even bring myself to listen.
My eyes find Ben. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1Vb5pFu5C
They always find him.
I see he's back to his old clean-shaven self from before the fake break-up. The fake-up? Is that a thing?
I don't think so. And it probably shouldn't be either.
God, when did I get so lame?
I wonder if he dressed up to impress a girl. I have to resist clutching my stomach as it does a flip.
Johnny's stupid face makes a lame joke and I force a fake laugh. I hear Vanessa doing the same next to me.
Why is she so insistent that I date this guy if she doesn't even like him?
I try to be subtle when I look at Ben, but this time he catches me. Our eyes lock for the first time in months and it steals the air from my lungs.
His eyes widen just before I feel an arm around my shoulder again. I guess Vanessa didn't get the hint last time. I try to pull away, but the grasp around my shoulder tightens.
I look over to find annoying Johnny is the one who has latched onto me.
What is going on?428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiTNouEmxF
What the heck did I miss?428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2kKz63JVl
Why won't he let me go?
He pushes me towards our seats, still refusing to release me. I'm incredibly uncomfortable, but I'm not sure how to get out of this.
I catch Ben's back as he heads for the parking lot. Where is he going?
Does he have some kind of tracking device on his jacket?
No, that's ridiculous. Isn't it?
I mean, he was really weird about them...
I jerk my elbow back slightly, just hard enough to make Johnny the Jerk lose his grip. As soon as I'm free, I move away from him.
I don't want him to try again.
I would be happy if I never saw his snug face again. Although, he's not looking so smug now. Hah.
"I... uh... I left something in my car, I'll be back in a few minutes." I awkwardly announce to my friends as I try to keep track of Ben's retreating figure.
"But the only thing out there is..." She trails off looking towards Ben's empty seat. "Kat, no."
Crap, I lost him.
Her "don't mess with me" look does nothing to deter me.
"I'll be right back." I head off as quickly as possible before she can stop me.
I check my car first, pulling out his jacket. Of course the tracking device was stupid idea.
I notice my phone on the floor board, guess I missed my purse earlier. I grab it too, shoving it into his jacket pocket until I can get back to my purse.
I start to head back but I spot his car. I notice he's sitting in the front seat, so I walk closer.
I will just give him back his jacket and that will be that... and maybe make sure he's okay.
He's facing forward in his seat, looking in my direction, but I'm not sure if he can see me yet.
A flash of blonde hair moves next to him.
He's not alone.
Oh god, there's a girl in his car with him.
I turn, hoping he's too busy with her to notice me. Maybe I can get away without looking like a complete idiot.
I run, clutching his jacket, trying to hold back the tears I can feel forming in my eyes.
"Kat!" I hear him call after me, but I don't stop.
I can't stop.
Stopping would mean admitting I followed him like a stalker.
Stopping would mean admitting that none of it was fake for me.
As I approach our seats, I try to steady my breathing. Vanessa glares at me as I head to the seat on the opposite end of Johnny the Jerk.
Thank god there's plenty of empty seats open on this side. My skin crawls just thinking about being near him.
"Get what you needed?" Vanessa's eyeing the jacket I'm clutching.
"Yep." I move to sit down, but Vanessa isn't done yet.
"Oh really? Why don't you go ahead and put on that jacket you just had to have so urgently." She's like a dog with a bone, she won't leave me alone.
"I think I will." I glare at her. She's so mean sometimes.
Now everyone will know it's clearly not mine and see just how pathetic I am.
I slide it on, before pulling my hair out of the back. God, it feels good. It's as close as I will get to feeling his arms around me again.
I can't believe I almost gave it back. It's the only piece of him I have left.
I feel my pocket buzz, reminding me I found my phone.
I hold it up, showing Vanessa. "This was in the car, thank you very much."
I glance down to see a few missed texts. That's weird, nobody ever texts me.
Ben: Were you looking for me?
Ben: Why did you run away?
The most recent one comes through as I'm reading the others.
Ben: Please turn around, Beautiful.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
