Ben424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p0NrUNfZU
July 2, 2005
*
One month later
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As I pull into the driveway, I begin to second guess my decision.
What if she doesn't want to see me? What if her dad shoots me?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTDdJiCXUW
What if she's with someone else?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLUBzmL1TO
What if-
Ring, ring.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKJe5LKnex
Ring, ring.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdQHq4mm3R
Ring, ring.
Shit. This is the worst time for her to call, but if I don't answer, she won't stop trying.
"Hey, Mom." I try to sound happier than I actually am, even though she's ruining my moment.
"Joseph, hay is for horses. Hello is a proper greeting. How many times do I have to tell you?" And we're off to a great start already.
I roll my eyes, thankful she can't see me. "And how many times have I told you that it's Ben now?"
"Oh darling, we named you Joseph so I have every right to call you that. But let's not fight." We were fighting?
"Okay, Mom. What do you need? I'm kinda in the middle of something." I huff, annoyed that she's giving me a lecture at such an important moment.
"Joseph Bentley, you know better than to talk to me that way. I am your mother, I gave you life. You are never too busy to talk to me." Oh great, the mother card. I might actually feel bad, if she didn't play it every other day.
"Yes, mother." I revert back to the obedient child she loves so much.
"That's better." Of course it is. "Now, the reason I called. I added you to the list for the Fourth of July Mixer. So you will need to be here at 4 o'clock sharp to get ready."
"Mom, I told you, I have a girlfriend now." Okay, I may have stretched the truth a little, but she is about to be mine.
"Oh, right. The secret, invisible girlfriend named after an animal. What was it again, dear?" God, I hate when she's patronizing.
I grind my jaw, resisting the urge to defend myself and my Beautiful Hurricane. "It's Kat, Mom, with a K. Not like the animal. And she's very real. In fact, I'm sitting outside her house right now."
She gives a soft giggle, that sounds like tiny bells tinkling. She's perfected her pity laugh, but I know it all too well. "Oh, of course you are, dear. So be here at 4 pm on the 4th, okay?"
"Mom, aren't you listening to me? I don't need to go. I already have someone and I think she might be The One." I hold my breath, as I wait for her response.
"Oh please, like I trust your judgement. You can't even pick out your own clothes." Actually, I can. She just hates what I choose to wear, so she is constantly trying to dress me up like a preppy nerd so I can find the "perfect" girl.
Well, now that I think about it, I guess she was right, I was wearing one of Mom's choices the night I met Kat. I was even wearing the stupid nametag from the mixer I was forced to attend.
Jesus, I looked like such an idiot. I'm surprised Kat ever gave me the time of day.
"I will need to meet her and make sure she's good enough for you." Mom's voice shatters through my thoughts, forcing anger to build up within me.
"Mother." I grind my teeth to refrain from using any other words to describe her.
"Well dear, you can't expect me to just trust you on this. This is an important decision, your father and I-" That's it. She crossed the line insulting Kat, but now she's stomping on it.
I am seeing red, but I feel the need to warn her, for some reason. "Mother. If you don't stop speaking right now, I don't be responsible for what comes out of my mouth."
"Are you threatening me?" Her voice is low and serious.
"No mom, I'm warning you." It's as honest as I can be without insulting her.
"Well, I don't know what's gotten in to you, Joseph Bentley, but I don't like it." Her voice is harsh, like when she lectured me as a child.
"You did this, Mother." I hear her gasp in my ear, but I can't stop now. "You need to understand a few things. One, Kat is perfect. I'm the one who doesn't deserve her."
"But Jo-" She tries to correct me, but I shut that shit down.
"No, you need to hear this." I hope she actually listens to me for once. "Trust me when I say, I will never find anyone better than her."
She scoffs, but doesn't interrupt.
"Two, I will choose who I want to be with. You can either support me or not, but it is my decision, not yours."
I pause for a second, waiting for her response, but she stays silent.
"Three, do not mention my father to me. He doesn't know me well enough to get a say in anything related to my life." I want to keep going, but I don't want to upset her more than necessary.
I can hear her soft cries coming through the line. I feel like shit, but I just need her to understand.
This is my life. 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuCeVWucHx
This is my choice.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkEzVu3xvq
And I choose Kat.
"Mom?" I should have probably just hung up after my tirade, but I would have felt even worse than I already do. If that's even possible.
She sniffs, probably trying to hide the evidence of her tears. If someone happened to see it, she might not be perceived as perfect for once. "I'm sorry that I have failed you as a mother."
Click.
She hung up on me.
And the award for "The Worst Son Ever" goes to this guy, right here.
I sit for a minute, collecting my thoughts. I planned to be here right after I sent Kat's daily text, but I was too excited to wait. I couldn't even say how fast I was going, with all the thoughts of her running through my mind.
It's not even noon yet, and today's text is supposed to go out at 2:23, so I have a shit ton of time. Damn. Maybe I should leave and come back. Sitting in her driveway is a little creepy.
Why couldn't I have started sending them earlier in the day? I just want to see her now.
I started out at 1:41 because at that point, I had known her for 141 days. From the first time I met her on New Year's Eve to when she left was about 5 months. I considered sending it at 5 instead, but I liked counting each day more.
Unfortunately, I forgot about one thing. After 1:59, my counting is completely screwed up. I should have thought this through a little better.
Today marks day 183. It's hard to believe I've already known her 6 months. Then again, it feels like I've known her forever. I can't remember the time before Kat, it's like she's always been a part of my life.
Is this what love feels like?
It can't be that simple can it?
Who would know?
I call Nate as I pull out Kat's driveway, maybe he has some insight.
"Hey man." Nate's voice sounds confused. "Aren't you hanging out with Kat?"
"Soon, dude, soon." How the hell am I going to bring this up? "Hey, listen... I was just wondering..." Shit, this is awkward as fuck.
"What's up, bro? Everything okay?" His concern is nice, although completely unnecessary.
"Yeah, man. I just wondered how you knew about, you know, uh... How you knew..." I clear my throat, trying to clear out the idiot stuck in there. Stop being a pussy. Just say it. "How did you know when you were in love?"
There I said it. Thank fuck.
Nate chuckles. "If you're asking that question, I think you already have your answer."
He sounds like a fucking fortune cookie. "Thanks a lot, Yoda."
"You are just jealous that, wise and awesome, am I." Asshole. Why did I think he would be helpful?
"Whatever. I can still kick your short ass." I taunt him, knowing he's not going to offer anything useful.
"In your dreams, loverboy." He makes obnoxious kissing noises as I try not to laugh. I would hate to encourage his stupidity.
"Like you can talk, your head has been lodged up Red's ass since the moment you met her." I chuckle, knowing he's way worse than me.
"No thanks to you, dick wad." Guess he's still pissed about my dibs.
"Whatever, ass face." I am more than happy with the way things turned out. "It's the only time I will ever thank you for screwing me over."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get all soft on me." He clears his throat. "You better go spend time with your girl before she dumps your ass again."
"Thanks, bro." I guess he's got better things to do than talk to me. "See ya."
"Ben?" His voice his quiet.
"Yeah?" I can't help but wonder where he's going with this.
"If you get her back, never let her go." He hangs up, leaving me feeling like shit.
I knew he's been suffering, but I asked him anyway. I'm an asshole. Why did I think calling him was a good idea?
Worst son. 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeD5GEy5qh
Worst friend.
Maybe I should just go home.
ns 15.158.61.52da2
