Kat592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPurGHnwGDj
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY4eKmU7yk
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5qJNBzyn8
As soon as I leave Ben's room, Vanessa jumps me. Without saying a word, she pulls me into the room where Ben laid me down the previous night.
"Hey..." She starts out cautiously. Her eyes wide, like she's afraid I'm going to explode or freak out.
I'm not sure how I feel about her barging in. It was horrible timing and incredibly awkward, but it's also nice that she cares so much. I can't be mad at her, but I don't want her to know that.
She continues without waiting for my response. "Sorry, you know I can overreact sometimes..."
"Sometimes?" I am unable to stop the involuntary snort that escapes.
"Okay, maybe a lot..." We both laugh.
It feels good to laugh after such a weird week.
"Listen, it was super awkward, but I get it. I'm not mad or anything. Although... I can't speak for Ben." I smirk as I think of all kinds of things we could be doing if she hadn't interrupted.
She sighs. "Speaking of Ben..." Her face turns serious. "You were pretty out of it last night..."
"'Ness..." How many times do I have to tell her?
"It's just... I thought... maybe... well... you know..." Her eyes go wide as she trails off. I can tell she's hoping I catch on, so she doesn't have to spell it out for me.
"Oh god, Ness. I didn't even think about that. I'm sorry." I try to comfort her, I know this can't be easy for her.
She gives a pathetic smile. I didn't think of this as a trigger for her.
"Trust me, Ness. He didn't take advantage of me." I try to reassure her. Ben did nothing wrong.
"Okay..." She doesn't seem entirely convinced. "I promise I will try to tone down the Mama Bear a bit, you know, if you want to keep seeing Ben."
"What are you talking about? I'm not seeing anyone." Even if I wanted to date him, I doubt he should be interested in more than just a night.
"Oh... I guess I just assumed... When you crawled into his bed last night." She raises her eyebrow in accusation.
"Oh god." I cover my face. "Why did I do that?"
Vanessa playfully shouts her response. "Cause you need some good sex in your life!"
"Vanessa! Shut up!" I hiss, hoping the guys are unable to hear through the walls.
"Oh come on, we both know your douche of an ex couldn't satisfy you." Somehow her voice grew louder. She is going to be the death of me.
"Oh my god! Vanessa Rosalind!" I cannot believe she is doing this. The guys can probably hear everything. I am going to have to kill her before I die of embarrassment.
She holds up her hands in surrender. "What? It's true!" Her eyes narrow and I know I am in trouble. "Are you really going to sit there being a prude when you were such a whore last night?"
"What!? I am not!" I pathetically try to defend myself.
"Not what? A prude or a whore?" A look of triumph flashing across her face.
"Either!" I find myself shouting to match her volume before I realize what I'm doing. "I'm not the one who is a whore, you skank!"
"Oh! Well, at least-" A soft knock at the door ends our dumb argument.
"Everything okay?" A concerned male voice comes through the door.
Vanessa rolls her eyes. "Yes, babe. We're fiiiine."
"Okay well, Luke made breakfast, so you better get some before Kai eats it all." Nate chuckles.
"Oh, Soph's here?" Vanessa's face lights up with excitement.
Wait... Why would Sophie be here? My head is spinning. Who is Luke? Kai? How many people live here?
"Soph? Like our neighbor Sophie?" I try to understand.
Could Ben be dating her? I feel a wave of jealousy that's completely unwarranted. I have no claim on Ben. Besides, he isn't a relationship guy... right?
"Yeah, Soph is dating Nate's roommate, Luke." I feel a wave of relief. What on earth is wrong with me? Ben is not mine.
But, do I really believe that?
"And Luke always makes her breakfast when she's here." Vanessa continues her explanation.
"Nope, Soph isn't here. Which means he's stress cooking, but we all still benefit." Nate gives a smug smile as he steps forward to wrap his arms around Vanessa. "Come on, babe. Let's go."
She eyes me as if she's waiting for me to beg her to stay, so I try to reassure her. "I will be there in a minute, just gotta run to the bathroom."
"Okay... But seriously, hurry. Kai really will eat everything." She gives me a pointed look, so I know if I don't hurry, she will come looking for me.
"Yes, Mama Bear." She glares at me, but turns to leave with Nate.
I flop down on the bed. Thank god, a moment of peace.
There's a soft knock on the door. I groan, not wanting to deal with anything else.
"Kat?" I hear Ben's muffled voice coming through the door.
"No."
"Oh..." He sounds disappointed. Does he really believe that it's not me? "Sorry." I can't help the laugh that explodes from me.
I get up to open the door and find myself face to face with a shirtless Ben. "What are you sorry for?"
He smirks at me. "So, it is you... Why did you lie?"
"You didn't answer my question, Benny-boy." I try to look annoyed, but I'm probably failing miserably.
"I'm sorry for... everything." I wasn't expecting the seriousness in his voice. "From the bar, to the kiss, to last night, to this morning, and all the way up to now. I'm sorry for being a complete idiot."
"Ben..." What is he talking about? Everything was my fault, not his. Does this mean he regrets everything?
"I know I don't deserve another chance, but do you think we could... maybe..." He is clearly nervous. "...start over?"
I'm not sure how I feel. I am a little hurt that he wants to just forget the best kiss of my life... I don't think I can just start over.
"No." His face morphs from pleading to confused, as though he can't understand my response.
"No?" The word seems to leave a bad taste in his mouth.
"Listen... I know it's weird and awkward, but I kinda like our beginning." I didn't mean to reveal so much, but it's too late now.
A huge grin spreads across his face. I could get used to making him look like that.
The realization comes out of nowhere. Crap... I really like Ben.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
Too bad we will never be together.
