Kat611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsdvNV815L
611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVGiBrSl73
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiMie2RtHn
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh7rbtF6cm
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8F0PJvtAQR
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcV9uOSV7P8
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdUDA51jm1
Is that it?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwwEUJ8LjF
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuG9RlbDAo5
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDoWVWYxJp
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LQTKoxbT8
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PKKOZYBxm
I need to be strong. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrl5xIWTEdn
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I need to be independent. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO4223rk5j
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I need to make better choices. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxBsDernmH
I need to... not be here. Crap.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZMq9NQ1u1
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoeswNB5Zt
But also powerful and wanted. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVvCdoEC8e
Ugh... I am so confused. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqCMCvc1aU
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1yBKAjjGS
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlIRsTbmBg
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg08DdpuANU
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Lsm29GYSM
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpexDmscbAk
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDutCBCaTn6
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiv208hBypq
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3FOkEYrhP
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgAgRwfnQ2
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqC9Mkaxck
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00z7TOQL33
I am so weak. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7kkl814zF
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLzZHuekhW
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWViQ4gn7Q
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQxDbrfQ3M
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq5xhVo0Fm
"You are so not funny." I mumble.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2HQkRKKvA
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYnHVroZDx
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqmbHwyywv
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5YKclUihe
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynuESs0cYJ
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eym39oH7c
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA05lRC29zJ
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJ1rRyZeRe
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuGSpMNPFY
Oh no. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLtisdoR2j
What did I do? 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTflJ3ccYK
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08hJKczXbB
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUKkVlHHbK
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4s9EarTrc
I remember crying at some point.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4aScqETv5
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I remember drinking more than I should have.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpZBPZeovh
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzcQQB1IlM
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0p9Fp5Sr9
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And I remember... Uh oh. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmycgkEMTTX
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbWG7mIdpJ
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGYe6kI3fY
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWoCG6PqWm
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiU7VDGIiAm
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSa1rPMNsw6
Crap. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPAK0Qdplr
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQKaewoE4U
How did this happen?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOTVrsCQo9
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwk0kx8uf1
Is he... laughing at me? 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzjTFIhNes
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EbfLUM5C4
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeA71eVhQm
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkO7ogNy4Zu
My curiosity wins, just barely. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk2deix8Sr
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMo17CJPit
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHZXOhxO1G
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5inHY6bvk9
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUZfhfZK6g
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8kfCLiI6s
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUkKU2mQpV
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVeIWuH1dl
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhYvp0CUNL
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0F26K5oRk
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF4S5qMBEt
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccpOrE3gCW
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3sJkUsF6j
I remember licking his defined chest.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTufWLqnVSe
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I remember... 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmdthKWZOe
he was naked!611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurPJAPCafB
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuAyP0AYDh
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMCthrRRuf
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhczxz2wEl3
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCmovl3gbn
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVrtOAc5dA
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJTHchVl2T
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhuKTCx1jx
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5Zo1Kt2fT
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJUW3kttuA
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZaENJfO0R
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wfJseNuGB
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31QLjQ9ouM
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW90Gj1OouK
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SQQB4bBvy
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhNLlDC11S
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qbbdZqLVa
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxK38vxKOc
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPI1169gDT
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rkveqWuSr
Oops.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtDA0gfBHg
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjblbd3eWvp
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ploirOYhd
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmdB6UP2sv
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlW6zQdR1Qf
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCPEq2p2iT
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvN567aJi0
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjS5gF0opUz
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDFDdCmgMP
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq5V8Nef21
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi72QFU86DT
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPF9IXzobV
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJsDCUpKvC
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPJtv1brQ0
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTSWeON5FA
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdcaSDvnIo
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO5dViS6gB
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiyXnOJF9M
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡne2bmLGlTc
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNzOcHAgk4
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 611Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfn75dXKEl
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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