Kat565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLwNsUNRzf
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvhHtSk24Y
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOorfbqlcNI
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYebvI8Whb4
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWiGfUPJkF
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuM0hht3jG
Is that it?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQpbdyjnx5
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcwsi02TUN
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8aAZ5Z5ZA
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJAdcr187b
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0x2yxN8fy
I need to be strong. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbBFpB3fyY
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I need to be independent. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMzBHXmCUT
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I need to make better choices. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pTeiTmbxM
I need to... not be here. Crap.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtDmpE85Zn
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoDVBaiWml
But also powerful and wanted. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDlCHYyav8
Ugh... I am so confused. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlHVxI8uHB
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nIPnqgLfs
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlrCPR09Ap
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeAOVTPEnS
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeqL88VOTC
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsoTuaqWNN
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1n3jPwmnj
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMPaPiW5nz
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODjiDYPHvx
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbN73NqZpo
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqftQSdTCeW
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfPXaEqTWE
I am so weak. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiohnLEuLqj
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwdYNKSChQ
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iPjztUaDq
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfGxfLw1ub
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm76VFHatYs
"You are so not funny." I mumble.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPASVT8keV
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7A5yQkevvZ
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM4URhZrdn
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSLLPphOvA
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzzvKmYGRt
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNiqFkdlC0
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjU87nJvEW
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb244kpwgTZ
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSdw11sCz1
Oh no. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuBepTaYki
What did I do? 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJqeWCLUN9
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNuJUwM9ua
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nJ190h8J7
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NMH5nmXIW
I remember crying at some point.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYDkAYy0gt
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I remember drinking more than I should have.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSL97GaR0WF
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3lEeK1cjn
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpqsnfrMPX
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And I remember... Uh oh. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3pvEopumw
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68aQxDbbGV
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIIsEn3e8M
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH4jMoVZ3o
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE3OXUvWQh
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMRTNbBP1q
Crap. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz45DleExw
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOFo5M8rO2
How did this happen?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJymUhJ4uaA
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBtVdaKWTj
Is he... laughing at me? 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2Ds7zyPp7
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHuAKpVblj
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjBKE0aopJ
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo27d46cX5K
My curiosity wins, just barely. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPKXoUVVak
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZxV8s4cpK
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZuPkP1oiM
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxp9UJ7WpQ
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYt8uo8bBk3
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm24gioOkI
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhloMBMtVY
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyXiy1SGAg
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL0AxnJoyo
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRY0VsZCDLG
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EG3BiYw9r
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPC6h1chAH
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOK6GROi6f
I remember licking his defined chest.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MgsdYHmRU
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I remember... 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCopGWKQtb
he was naked!565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4W6eTWSlD
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqTIX5EJFQ
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMAtU9F70y
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5V5TnlhDj
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdwex96QMZ
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNTrW6Tjub
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimicpmDs9m
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVYabkHW6n
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd78PEo7U0M
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QXieXSSS9
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57XM5q0QbU
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAxsUoQlhk
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcdfLdEOaD
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTr75lvj4E
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWj1VBcJFus
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxeSxKI2I1
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyCgIw5OBE
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FgirLDhQJ
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43K1Hk5zJd
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4hpXgNIeg
Oops.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGMcWAqN7o
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSNpxBw7VW
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItXNNCQCAq
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblYWK1Ce7D
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9gFjGZ9UA
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq2zxftulB
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1S3nqhBOzG
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI43TyPO1sw
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4UIYA2tBX
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNDnu6xsWT
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqKar7g9PX
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL7uAzT29M
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUiQhaqE3V
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rnhgZXk9b
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7D84iY4z1
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlG8B1bEh9
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcryW4PvEc
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jpmF4Ye5q
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YpAzwIPL7
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblxFsXDxDW
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEgobdB425
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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