Kat622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPA9Yg8orF
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AOeirGuMi
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQMYHUlf7U
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNnG4RJ6ad
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL7tQYD8go
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJY2qbKZusc
Is that it?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yG5kayf3g
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y7Ej4ujqn
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9h8YgHCvJ
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40cO4OsUNi
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLZNA5USWi
I need to be strong. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1492tRpr7
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I need to be independent. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aHEXGlgRZ
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I need to make better choices. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkV34W1TZX
I need to... not be here. Crap.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefRzlTNxLw
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH50Mmv49rL
But also powerful and wanted. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3quBUIS0jT
Ugh... I am so confused. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIWNFssRpi
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRibQgk3Kb
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6ww4H9oB1
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4HSt4pHlW
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1mH8OW9ZG
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzc8rraYpQ
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9C9KY6cfW
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxBO9QHCJ7
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoI3oT7aQK
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOZ4lqNumS
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKmteKKXq1
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlzno1MadU
I am so weak. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC3CKvEw0f
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25gYAxFVds
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqlkITrnH4
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggUktYjRj8
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7ejipBITG
"You are so not funny." I mumble.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkQcNekzLD
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw7MF6Q4fU
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG90flND8U
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3MFS7ucoC
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwBUpLfWB7
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM3tHLTnkU
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBJskVkQLd
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYzhVTgbp0
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDRkQ4MwoI
Oh no. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBMSBEPROH
What did I do? 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7U08CEQjF
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77XB4jSXqu
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSNjAVP2Up
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8ccuLCbYX
I remember crying at some point.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzi5ZEniLQ
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I remember drinking more than I should have.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4r014noUI
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwz7Y75qEd
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPnyAnQxZy
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And I remember... Uh oh. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndoERIPQcm
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpwTnaPAaF
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHyNhmR7Yv
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSzlArpQrE
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eDIcwjaMM
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPpiIhXgZt
Crap. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhjG7dcgYc
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1b9FEk74Ic
How did this happen?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJfO0jdhzF
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHOd18IdIH
Is he... laughing at me? 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaTL5Soddv
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kWFlOnAsp
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskiBvoQLXP
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3XmW4X8lv
My curiosity wins, just barely. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutvxrIOdxv
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdIRRjujiz
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3O1iFfLcq
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk7M9ZehK9
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8CmQT2hpP
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP73pIY5dp
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2xXLIPLXu
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGInOaCwij
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5xmdRiw9h
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UQLM2YqiF
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0fHRXqkzA
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSsycSlutD
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnt1NWitDN
I remember licking his defined chest.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcz1ljgooqo
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I remember... 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTPHezcdYe
he was naked!622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJaUWS5Say
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImjWlFSBFH
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpFbmlnZri
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxBMfhvMFl
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaLdPJ8mn7
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQuIRCQQI0
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYOFhUOSQW
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqWB6EqqHK
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTyQi9NRjO
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebUHbB62AJ
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl34MmAnEBe
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0MDq0Wb5j
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev4VqTUtrx
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwM5T5GR9Y
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTkxOeRlxq
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV85BLLFzFi
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEB5PYi4CU
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9TsAxNiyU
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcmgYS7nxD
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzHsSInxUM
Oops.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwKeWGA40U
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkMSX9DPPw
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqEvwd3QC0
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaWPNSJUzT
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnpsK7YHBD
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjxffK5LsQ
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76KTDDfdjs
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF4uBA2fUh
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJAwebQ863
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi1DLj8gPb
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEhAK1Zb4y
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUXDygKGPc
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlUOPC5VMp
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dEKYwsDdO
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4kLMoNmTa
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZB9HleH0u0
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImSTbvz5Fm
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaRcjvWIE8
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeWtsUlDxl
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVtJGftgax
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSVxIzHQXT
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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