Ben760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnDytvbFfL
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡng5cHKwfro
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOeX6rOcoO
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KpcrE3b84
Of course I see her.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA89b1d9elA
I always see her.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSuY6UjzUW
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7Nhu8I74h
Damn it.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCGSrrO740
I need to stop looking at her. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSNZgliFL7
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5aWyy6ObA
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCw6NyXbvR
Damn it.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV94DCEugK
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG7wO2V1nq
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdwHFR2ByE
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUAwoY7ogr
But I fucked it up. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzW3ZFT4TK
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOna6I50jTk
Of course I fucked it up.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW36H1kDSg
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Because I'm a fucking idiot.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWG4zyejhhj
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuChsk2Q2gr
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4MqT3YRud
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3oikIXxEd
Can lips be sexy?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6q65XmgxU
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCCzagCUue
I need her. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshYApW5VS5
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyxVOAsOmH
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7fxyRSqLj
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwOFD8H3SX
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdIRwoXd8J
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXRr2KnzJ7
Even her.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdjTLwFO6h
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hvtOM9Ukt
I feel something strange as I lay down...760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzyhx8OCWm
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡid8pxgnAbl
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZe7i4D6dT
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4jD5FjpWB
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnzyI7NfWu
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P51nPlc2D
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ8OOKmUOG
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQJL8tFp8e
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQ0hPvnKBM
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6Go0QG0J8
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxzLRedjuy
It's not. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJS5kG62gW
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuP0FSmE7tR
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2wx1A6Bpv
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4DGhHE013
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDmzObbwbD
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMPoMbJWoD
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvHuu5gOA3
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0x5Y3GbhP
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm402ekP67r
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTrAXoJR7V
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9GXLOs451
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ7SyL7cKk
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUNXlvKHaz
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTEMTa9EAJ
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEGnsItpgk
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPDqg3imQs
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1cGNcfyBq
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGyXYNJ69M
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDhL1NYCzM
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyEjfNoldo
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrLVpKYRqP
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8E2RS3Vcs
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpp3BIozw9
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAB8N1FKoo
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRRXTXeH9O
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxL8LSHGlha
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqocBnvOvHG
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNFy2DE5TU
I missed everything about her.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0QJeUqk1z
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXf9TCBYgg
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBLNPSjGyF
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3Sddq1Xg8
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUkceDJQPW
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxwBQ7t8Gs
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRBxYin3iL
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k5sDHcnbG
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBKIT9jsm5
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbvBjZFwfN
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUvq20qb9e
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmG7D23L9EE
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfGCe20msQ
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMdWDGhNc1
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmS3eClDKd
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPvhurLDYw
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlRKEbZFa5
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjEcx4c0zp
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdB4iQcapb
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgnyCs7VyL
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWpOBer4lr
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMJiyIxnlG
Shit. This is bad. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTpOE29cJ0
Faking it is going to be so hard. 760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzMvAOMjd8
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPcZMeau8p
I am so fucked.
ns 15.158.61.47da2
