Ben757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgDiD7bxlC
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQBpPvTGmK
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8O2v2gEdX
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB0uCE2rNd
Of course I see her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPE274otiL
I always see her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOo1xYXhZV
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz3OzvjHFg
Damn it.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXuytgXrX9
I need to stop looking at her. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAw2p1dC6Jh
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAXlHWS57K
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMSnRU3NXu
Damn it.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGrZ2WDZke
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqviAbJ3IJn
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaUeDZtQ7N
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLZCpCMp33
But I fucked it up. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YgJxtaxaR
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5D5faemvXU
Of course I fucked it up.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqvwWKE9tv
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs66hEvRTca
Because I'm a fucking idiot.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaULaE2Sj1
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBpI1XNuaO
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsE6ifBMjE
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL2sAGxBUk
Can lips be sexy?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiwxdhnpY1
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO3nLcEqK3
I need her. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuV5Z8G0k7
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViyDhQLswe
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVE3PymF27
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0b54AValim
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20XHsKZ5Un
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE9aEXQelc
Even her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrCSeb6zR3
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRxnST3kTz
I feel something strange as I lay down...757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8owubDNpWJ
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXeBUrbscZ
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqy30CTtvX
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxNGNxsYRS
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCdFeIZKhs
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6sb8v7rCs
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWDBPaJiWl
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVDR38Zhrf
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ggz9U2xac
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGbqniOcjU
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeh9k6YQCX
It's not. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbVrIMKbNQ
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUajD55D2s
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgBwnKbPMp
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNaVc4wecs
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXj9GrtE4i
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIttFIGvKq
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrekOE59Y5y
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEhG3yUxvN
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ928u5CXJg
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9L6ABWrjU
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCd2YqvIVV
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gidgD0tNm
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Fo63s5aHF
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHSOwrWXss
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXmcLfhcLM
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOSf4MlfAY
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLzODuorQw
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaHxvfB6QE
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDwM4kK7do
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqAvUjx8Gx
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wLmOpcZJY
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPmO5wcILi
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwCb4XAkQG
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqYCGUAAOH
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzxyLQaxdM
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByoIOxm0T6
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90Yt5XHOQ9
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAr5AJh3yK
I missed everything about her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBNNmDQ3RK
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhX79kbPWNv
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFzxQcmUuc
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeuVerQtgk
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKmW2Zb4Gl
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVudn50QVlc
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidPi94Ri11
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaViPLMfpyY
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj4YppS15n
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTovAoebkXM
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIPReRzSHQ
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TYg2lYJsn
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwBtcwc6bC
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6Flpfo9CP
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nIeMgkgFd
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2urhdt40Zh
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSEXmTOuQ4
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGHGH2PLcm
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SQH7LR5Dd
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc30zjecmKu
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YRhIQcOMF
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEzcz59FmV
Shit. This is bad. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnfwexTPgf
Faking it is going to be so hard. 757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYdD6RumSS
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOwaSBekHw
I am so fucked.
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