Kat427Please respect copyright.PENANAbzzJfjFVmc
May 21, 2005
427Please respect copyright.PENANAEPO8MpJz6D
*
Same day
*
"Wh-What?" Surely I misheard him.
He wants to tie me down? Like figuratively or literally?
I'm not sure I like either one. The need to get out of here is growing stronger.
I don't want to stay.427Please respect copyright.PENANAGbTlTIpT5q
I don't want to talk.427Please respect copyright.PENANAkwJiGUJvwm
I don't want to be near him.
It hurts too much. Being around him reminds me of everything I felt for him.
"You heard me." His smirk takes over his entire face. He's not challenging me, he thinks he already won.
I look down at his hand on my exposed skin, wishing he were touching me elsewhere. I can feel my chest heaving as I suck in air, which I'm sure he's noticed.
He hasn't touched me in three months. I can't deny that it feels amazing, but I want more.
I need to get out of here, before I make a fool of myself. Again.
If I could just slide out from under his hand, I might be able to make it to the bathroom door.
Then what?
I wouldn't make it out the front door, he would catch me.
I would be stuck in Cole's room until Ben came and threw me over his shoulder again.
Caveman. 427Please respect copyright.PENANAY502KeCN59
A very hot, strong caveman.
God, what is wrong with me?427Please respect copyright.PENANArUtjUSDYrJ
Focus!
Ben's hand moves off of my chest, as he grabs my hands, pulling it above my head. Something cool slides over my wrist, I look up to see I'm secured to the bed post with a blue silk tie.
Oh God. He meant literally.
He climbs over me, straddling my stomach as he ties my other wrist the same way. This time with a dark green silk tie. It doesn't hurt, but it's not super comfortable either.
He kisses my forehead before climbing off the bed. I feel my nerves skyrocket. Is he going to leave me here?
No!
"Wh-Where are you going?" I whisper, barely able to speak.
He chuckles, grabbing my leg. "Don't worry, darlin', I'm not going anywhere."
He wraps a dark purple tie around my ankle, securing me further to the bed. "And neither are you."
There's something in his gaze, something different. I wonder if he likes seeing me like this. Completely under his will.
He can do whatever he wants to me and I'm helpless to stop it. The thought is incredibly arousing and terrifying.
I trust Ben. I don't believe he would ever hurt me physically, but I'm more worried about my heart.
What if he breaks it? 427Please respect copyright.PENANAp39C25hSiR
What if he breaks me?
He slides a pale yellow tie around my other ankle. He's taking his time with this. I think he's enjoying it, but I can't tell for sure.
He climbs up onto the bed, holding one last, light blue tie. Uh oh.
"Wh-What's that for?" I can feel my eyes open to the point it's almost painful.
"This..." He runs the tie through his hands, a smile on his lips, as he steps up to the side of the bed. "...is for if you're a bad little kitty Kat."
I can't stop the involuntary shiver that passes through my body.
He lays the tie next to my head, before running his hand up my bare leg. He stops just below the hem of my dress, causing a soft moan to escape from my lips. It's been too long since he touched me.
His eyes meet mine, causing my stomach to flip. "You are so beautiful, you know that?"
Pitter, patter.427Please respect copyright.PENANAzVlOcAI4zK
Pitter, patter.
My heart is about to be beat out of my chest, as my response gets stuck in my throat. Not that I really want to say anything.
His hand runs up my other leg, causing another wave of chills. I feel on edge, my senses are going crazy.
I desperately want him to touch me more, but I also want to run away. I feel so exposed. I'm certain he can see all my secrets, as though they are written across my body.
He sits on the bed, facing me. His eyes meet mine, but they aren't asking for permission.
He runs his hand across my exposed skin above my dress, back and forth.
"You ready to talk, darlin'?" His eyes still hold my gaze and I have to resist the urge to look away.
His hand stops, directly over my heart. I'm sure he can feel it trying to jump out. He leans forward, capturing my mouth with his. It's soft, and slow... and amazing. Before I know it, he's pulling away, smirking.
He's still leaning forward, looking down at me, as his hand rests between our chests. "So, I do affect you."
I nod, because it's all I can do. I don't know where he's going with this. Of course he affects me.
He's still so close to me, I can feel his breath on my lips. I want him to kiss me again. I want him to touch me again. Anything. I'm going crazy.
"I was beginning to think you were just a really good actress." He thought I was pretending?
I shake my head. None of it was fake, for me. Just him.
He presses his lips to mine again. I moan as my eyes roll back into my head. It feels so good, like coming home after a long day.
He pulls back too soon. "But is it only physical?"
My eyes snap open, meeting his. Finally, I find my voice. "Why would that matter?"
"Just answer the question, kitty Kat." He holds up the last tie. "Before I have to punish you."
I swallow, unsure of what to say. Do I tell him I have feelings? Or do I take whatever he has in store for me?
"Tick, tock." He pulls the tie tight, between both hands. "It's a yes or no question, Beautiful."
"Y-yes... I mean, no... I think." Crap, I forgot the question.
"When I said yes or no, I didn't mean both." He clicks his tongue, disproving of my attempt.
"What was the question again?" I try to remember how it was worded.
Is it more than physical? Yes.427Please respect copyright.PENANA8JZvFQX8iX
Is it only physical? No.
What did he say? How am I supposed to answer?
"Time's up." He slides the tie over my eyes as my world is suddenly engulfed in darkness. I jerk my head, trying to stop him.
He ties it behind my head as though it's nothing. I stop my pointless movement.
I have no idea what he's going to do. 427Please respect copyright.PENANAp8WYPkGPaY
It's thrilling and frightening. 427Please respect copyright.PENANA0zk5zC1hRC
I have to trust him. I have no choice.
He holds me in the palm of his hand.
His hand runs up my leg again, but this time it doesn't stop. He brushes over my panties and up my stomach, pushing my dress up to just below my bra.
I feel naked and exposed, but oddly okay with it. I feel like I should be mad that he's holding me here, basically against my will, but I'm not.
I feel excited and really turned on.
His hands draw lines over my stomach and I flinch with each gentle tickle. He chuckles from somewhere nearby, and I pointlessly move my head towards the sound.
I feel the bed shift before something slides over me. He straddles me before I realize it was his leg.
"So tell me..." His voice startles me. It had been quiet for so long, I almost forgot he wanted an answer.
His hands run up and down my arms. I moan, enjoying his touch.
"Is there anything more than physical attraction between us?" He stops rubbing my arms, waiting for my reply.
"You tell me." I don't know where I find the strength to speak. Maybe the shock of the situation is wearing off.
"Oh darlin'..." He chuckles, as his hands tease my stomach again. "I don't think your in any position to be demanding."
I sigh, knowing he's right.
"What about Samantha?" Before I can confess anything, I need to know.
"Don't say her fucking name." Despite his harsh words, his touch is still gentle. He presses higher and higher until my dress is draped around my neck. "What does she have to do with us?"
My heart leaps at his words. There's an us?
"You don't think she will be upset about this?" If they are dating, then this is very inappropriate.
"Who gives a fuck if she's upset?" He sounds confused, but continues rubbing his hands along my stomach.
At the end of each upward stroke, his hands circle my breasts, never fully touching them. I try to arch my back to encourage him, but the ties stop me.
"If you guys are dating-" His hands suddenly stop moving, as he cuts me off.
"You think I'm dating her?" I feel the words hit my face, as he leans over me.
"W-Well... I just..." I don't even know what to think anymore.
"Oh, trust me darlin', if I was dating someone else..." His hands run up my stomach, grazing over my bra. My nipples harden, straining towards his touch. "I wouldn't be doing this."
A moan escapes from somewhere inside me. He's pulling feelings out of me that I've never felt before.
But he's always done that, hasn't he?
The day I decided not to trust men ever again, there he was, starting off my New Year with an earth shattering kiss.
"I wouldn't date that crazy bitch if my life depended on it." I guess what Cole said was true, or at least that part was. "Do you know me at all?"
"I thought I did." I whisper. My body involuntarily trying to reach him, despite the restraints.
"Do you not know how badly I want to touch you?" His hands run down my sides, teasing me.
"Do you not know how badly I want to kiss you?" His lips brush against mine, but never press further.
He leans forward, sliding the blindfold off. "Do you really not know how beautiful you are?"
My eyes flutter wildly, trying to adjust to the sudden invasion of light.
"Do you really not know..." Ben rests his forehead against mine. "...how much I want you?"
Before I can ask him anything, he kisses me hard, making me forget everything but him.
His touch.427Please respect copyright.PENANA1ap8Rli3An
His taste. 427Please respect copyright.PENANAwyQIrIvD4F
His body.427Please respect copyright.PENANA5xAlDDrvDl
He's driving me insane.
I want him so much, I'm aching. I've never felt like this before. Is it wrong to want someone this much?
It certainly doesn't feel wrong. It feels very, very right.
He adjusts so his legs are between mine. He lowers himself down, kissing a line down my stomach.
It feels so good.
His muscles flex with each soft stroke across my skin, leaving goosebumps along the way.
His eyes meet mine as he kisses the very spot that's craving him. Why did I wear underwear again?
"Do you really not know?" His voice is soft, as his eyes plead with me to understand.
I shake my head, unable to form any appropriate words. The thought of having him inside of me is taking over my brain.
His head falls slightly, as though he's disappointed. In himself or in me?
"Do you really not know how badly I want you?" I desperately want him.
"Show me." My voice filled with need and longing.
He shreds my panties, devouring my clit with his mouth. Oh God. That was freaking hot. I'm already so close, how is this possible?
I moan, pulling on the ties as I try to press myself further into his tongue.
"Ben, I think I'm gonna..." As soon as the words leave my mouth, Ben stops moving completely.
No. No. No. I was so close.
"Sorry, darlin', but you still have a question to answer." He smirks up at me, but all I want to do is kick him in the face. Or maybe shove him back down.
"A what?" My brain can't comprehend what he's talking about. I just need his mouth on me again.
He chuckles, kissing up my stomach. He presses into me, exactly where I want him and suddenly I realize he's completely naked.
When did that happen?
His cock slides against my folds. Oh god. I moan loudly just before he slaps his hands over my mouth.
"Shhh..." Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know there are people nearby, but I don't even care.
I'm a bundle of need.
He slides against my wetness again. "Mmmm." If I weren't tied up, I could probably slide him inside me easily.
Crap. I forgot how huge he was. I don't think I could explain to my dad why I'm in the hospital with a broken vagina.
This is the worst possible time to think about your dad. Or hospitals. Or broken vaginas.
Or summer break... away from Ben.
Just stop thinking about anything other than right now.
"So, do you like me for more than my body?" His eyes watching my every move as he continues to move against me.
How am I supposed to think when he's doing that?
"Oh... Yes." He starts to move faster against me. I can feel it building inside me. I'm close again.
He stops moving. "What was that? Did you say yes?"
"No! Don't stop." I wiggle against him as much as possible, hoping for some contact. I feel myself growing needier by the second.
"You want to be with me?" His voice raising with excitement. "Like for real?"
Suddenly, the sexual haze is gone. Did he do all of this just to get me to admit that?
He presses his lips into mine, but I don't return the kiss. I'm disgusted with him, but I'm even more disgusted with myself.
He pulls back to look at me, confusion etched across his handsome face. "What's wrong?"
He used my desire to get me admit I have feelings for him. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. I can't even look at him.
Why would he do this?
I finally work up the strength to meet his gaze, before speaking with all the determination I can muster. "Let me go."
He leans back, holding onto my hips. "No."
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