Kat623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm7AWcuT0t
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC5LZKjG5J
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokolfwDpsY
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb4zGEBPuo
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04yQMfNoeB
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdzi571uQf
Is that it?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdEAuIRx6G
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEqI9sfj2U
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVSylr1UMC
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHqUAdhaLd
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rvYbqLSaF
I need to be strong. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ673jVi4Jbv
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I need to be independent. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVigIVgCe7G
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I need to make better choices. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdQbiXZzJb
I need to... not be here. Crap.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CJ2AMrIMO
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplBMa4imvM
But also powerful and wanted. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NjBQBzzqk
Ugh... I am so confused. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00eVTcvVTl
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPWUS9Q5aH
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I4UQ9T1LX
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jZbsqke5E
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOp9MXBoxx
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMZqv6cAv6
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZPIZIOiRt
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcalPdzdVTV
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBuM0h1PCg
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntyOjfVb0L
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0iXEhI3fc
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9poE1TeMD
I am so weak. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMNZeSHqS4
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j2CSsbd2y
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpRLdGTnyA
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFVQHSuCiv
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIFbJs1kCl
"You are so not funny." I mumble.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR4vGLqOH8
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaJZvvoQPe
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu726vAJpb
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzdI3HE6GN
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRwERs78E4
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJr3oJq0lX
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtix2eK2gP
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvzwKXBYPN
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcVTuslPDm
Oh no. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6lC0NYQlz
What did I do? 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oYVcpKnuq
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyxPH9SK2w
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRdcQaSAq9
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5ho18F6Bt
I remember crying at some point.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIP2XC8RTZt
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I remember drinking more than I should have.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPjzcaAyJH
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVtitn06OR
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWKgj9FyyO
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And I remember... Uh oh. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8yKcwQsJp
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADNjgckyMi
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyVMUYbjNi
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw7u7sqvWf
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUaU19M1yP
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fvVWoV7NB
Crap. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqot02CUn4
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk3ACI4TCY
How did this happen?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6ieVJkq0r
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpfCKz7bwA
Is he... laughing at me? 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8436fgWttE
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwS01aXWW7
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNl35bk3mj
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtz8oa9tAo
My curiosity wins, just barely. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dAqeaEBxm
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuznBia8kgO
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFtacuLXNC
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtf82163YhW
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9App3EyJR
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW9OvnrPFu
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgirKW9iTh
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvKCCgcmS9
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQU7IOT6qKM
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFmKvH1M6a
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0B83h3nGFU
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbVZ9CtWdP
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFndAXKURCf
I remember licking his defined chest.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMa3bCeUz9g
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I remember... 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BAIxnBrbq
he was naked!623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAodco32Ki
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK5OlmK8Ie
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZpD2TWRnc
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j6mNGg81C
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwoyxNX9WJ
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNOUrRM232
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ms1RmEmVs
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIh2HhOzvy
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJi7dkHzPZF
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfjOpiPUNe
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkagcztlBN
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ31JPpzlJr
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR62YGp1PVf
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BmWPizp90
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFLcxbHrMl
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpb1qVcIsY
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmFMyNu7r3
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF2K8uiv5J
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULa7eh8FDo
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjn0q5tmi5
Oops.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1uKMmZtpx
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpe2cCvLIF
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJdpv3mW8Q
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80Ay7U0XYK
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzUdnNYRnl
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY6H8yWfsx
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVPRud9zRI
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWjrGJfTNw
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2d2QMFwMl0
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyH0oEF6LL
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h4CAEapZn
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmdDgfzHWU
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxXBemMGY5
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm51PtO3hX
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpGRjx2ZP8
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgnVWaZXlc
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U7tYiWZFx
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMr0qYuX4Td
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ72BPjMGlj
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTAYTcoILl
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4h9ataVxf
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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