Chapter 1.29: December 25, 2015
"We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a—"
"Merry Christmas, dork. It's nice to finally see that stupid face of yours."
"I did not just agree to video chat with you only to have you insult my beautiful face."
"You tell yourself that."
"You wound me, my princess."
"And you exasperate me, my dork."
"Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's improper grammar to begin a sentence with a conjunction?"
"I've done my research on the topic, Kenny, and there is no such rule. In fact, it was actually just because schoolteachers in ye olden times—well, no, it was actually more in the 1800s—didn't want children to overuse conjunctions, so they almost banned the use of them. It's ridiculous. That's like wanting to prevent people from getting fat and deciding to ban chocolate."
"I'd die."
"I know you would. You're such a glutton."
"But I'm your glutton, my princess."
"You're a dork; that's what you are. Where are you now?"
"Stockholm, Sweden, actually. In two days, I'll leave for London, and then we'll go to South Africa for a bit."
"And then?"
"Isn't someone just so curious? We'll stop by Australia and then finally tour the Americas. The United States will be the last country I tour."
"Exhilarating."
"Have you sent me a Christmas present?"
"No. I didn't know where you would be."
"That is so mean! I sent you one! Has it arrived yet?"
"Not that I am aware of."
"Send me a picture of your face when you open it, yeah?"
"I'll think about it."
"You are such an ungrateful child. All these years, and you still treat me like this."
"You know I love you, Kenny."
"And I love you, Eru, but you're still so rude. I think I'm offended. Yeah, I'm definitely offended."
"I'm not sorry."
"Well, then."
"Where are you, again? Sweden?"
"Yup. I'm eating meatballs tonight. I'll send you a picture."
"Great. Now I want meatballs, too."
"Who are you talking to, Erunai? Your boyfriend?"
"No, just Kenny."
"Excuse me? Are you cheating on me while I'm away?"
"Hi, Ken! Thanks for your help on the twentieth, by the way."
"No need to thank me. Eru, are you going to answer my question?"
"I could never cheat on you, Kenny. You're the most important guy in my life, you know."
"I'd better be. What are your plans for today?"
"Beth's dragging me to a party."
"Sorry to break you two up, but we actually have to start getting ready for the party now. It's a bit far."
"By all means. Evidently, I am not the only glutton here. Have fun, both of you—but not too much fun."
"Bye, Kenny! Love you!"
"I love you, Eru."
Click.
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