{Tyler}
When my eyes finally opened up, it was dark out. I attempted to shift, before realizing that Preston was draped on top of me. I looked around to see Ami asleep, and Cameron whispered to himself, seeming to be distressed, “God, shut up...” He pulled on his hair, “I didn't do it…” He began to sob, which made my chest ache.
“Cameron?” I whispered out to him, catching his attention.
“Sorry…”
“Huh?”
“For crying… and for being snippy earlier too.” He frowned,
“I don't mind… What's going on?”
“I don't think I should say.”
“Why's that?”
“You might think I'm insane…”
“I don't think I will. I've seen some fucked up shit.”
“I'm sure you have.” He sighed, “I… Ty, I've been hearing a voice.”
“Okay.”
“Like an abnormal one.”
“I got that.” I nodded,
“Oh…”
“Was I supposed to say something else?”
“No, I just… was expecting you to say I needed help, or that I'm crazy, even though you told me you wouldn't…”
“Hey, I'm a man of my word.”
“Uh-huh, you're a man of your word, yet you lied to Preston about your coping skills.” He said, making me wince,
“Um… yeah.”
“Sorry, I… didn't think about that before I said it…”
“You're fine. I get it.” I sighed,
“Yeah, I know you probably get it… but still, that was uncalled for.”
“I don't really care, dude. Like I said, you're fine.”
“I just… want to make sure.” He glanced over at me, scanning over my facial expression, “I feel like you’re lying.”
“I guess you're getting better, and reading people then.” I admitted, “It hurt a little, but that's okay.”
“Well, no, it's not.”
“Dude. I said that it's fine.”
“But the fact that you think it's fine is a problem-”
“I'm not going to argue with you about something as stupid as this dude. It's perfectly fine, end of story.”
“Fine.” He sighed, “I just want to make sure since you’re…” Cameron stopped himself, making me finish it for him,
“I’m what? Sensitive? A cry baby?”
“That’s… Tyler…”
“Both of us know that’s what you meant. I get it.”
“No, Tyler, that isn’t what I was going to say.”
“Then were you gonna say that I’m some mentally ill freak?”
“No. Stop making assumptions!”
“Finish your sentence then.”
“I… Tyler…”
“What?”
“I don’t know, nevermind.” The both of us kept quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say, “How do you cope…?”
“With what?”
“The emptiness…”
“Oh, well uh… That’s not something you should ask me… in any case really… Like you said earlier, I just run straight to my cigarettes, or my razors.”
“I didn’t-“
“Whether you mean it or not, it’s true.” I looked over at him, as he was frowning, “You don’t need to feel bad about it. If anything, I needed that reminder. I know it’s a problem, but I ignore it because… It doesn’t register as a bad thing in my mind, when it is… It’s horrible. I shouldn’t have to live like… like this. So, thanks, I guess…”
“You’re uh, you’re welcome.” He smiled softly at me.
“Hey, Preston?” I called out to him, after he had been awake long enough to process things.
“Yeah?”
“Later when I get moving, and I’m away from here, can you… hide my bag? Please don’t throw it away, just put it somewhere you think that I will forget about, or won’t find it.”
“Of course,” He smiled, planting a kiss on my cheek, “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” I wrapped him into a hug,
“Why don’t you just throw it all away if you don’t want to… do these things to yourself?” Ami asked,
“It’s bad, Ami. I feel like I need it to survive, so throwing it away makes me feel as if something disastrous will happen, even though consciously I know I’ll be fine. So, it’s just an easy way to do the same thing, without the emotional stress.”
“Oh, well, I'm proud of you.” They smiled,
“Thanks.”
“Where are you gonna go?”
“I don't know, I'll just go for a walk or something.”
“Alright, don’t get murdered, okay?”
“I don’t have any control over that, but I’ll try not to.”
ns 15.158.61.8da2
