A few days later finds Zye on his way back home from the hospital with Jace by his side. It’s exhausting, to say the least. Even more so to kick out of his boots and make it to the couch. Jace is right behind him with hands tugging the coat off Zye’s shoulders.
It’s already growing a little damp from the snow that had gotten on it. Jace is careful to hang it on one of the few hooks on the wall. Turning back around, he watches Zye amble over to the couch and plop onto it. To say he’s worried would be an understatement. He just doesn’t understand anything about this disease or this world. It makes it that much more frustrating.
Jace shucks off his boots next and heads over to Zye. “How are you feeling?”
Zye huffs and folds against the armrest. Normally, he’d try to perk up and smile. Now he just wants to tug the blanket off the back until it’s haphazardly draped across his aching body.
“Honestly? Not great. But okay.” He blows a puff of air that makes the bangs between his eyes flutter up for a second. “Maybe it’s helping. I don’t know.”
“That’d be good, though.”
Jace busies himself with righting the blanket and tucking it around Zye. Doing so means he misses the look that crosses the man’s face. He nuzzles his face against his arm. As if even making the admission is painful.
“I don’t want to be too hopeful. It’s good…but…I can’t wish or pray this away and nothing can fix it. I just want to keep my feet in reality and spend as much time with all of you as possible.”
Sitting down next to him, Jace rubs at one of Zye’s feet through the blanket. “That’s awfully sweet for such a little sourpuss. You’ve been more aggressive lately.”
Zye pushes away from the arm of the couch. One hand lingers on it while the other keeps the blanket from falling off his shoulder. He gives Jace a playful glare, “I’m taller than you, ya know.”
There’s only one reason why Jace leans over to where he can speak in a lower tone, just in case Shae wakes up. He wants to distract his boyfriend, keep him away from thinking about what’s happening for the smallest of moments.
“Taller but not bigger.”
Immediately flushing, Zye pushes away from Jace and sulks back against the cushion. “Ass.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Cal is a bad influence. Not that you’re any better.”
“And you’re impossible to deal with. You’re too nice.”
Zye expects another retort. If anything Jace would usually be trying to pull him closer to cuddle and make up for it. When there’s nothing, he glances over. The slightly spaced-out look with brows steadily narrowing tells him more than enough.
“Is everything okay? Someone need you?”
“I’m sorry. I should go. I’ll be back soon and in the meantime, get some rest.”
Zye waves him off. “Go, go. I’ll be here when you get back.”
Standing, Jace intends to do just that. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he can return. Especially when he already made it clear he wouldn’t be available today unless it was an emergency. He spares but a moment to lean back down and give a peck to Zye’s lips.
What he doesn’t expect is for Zye to grab at the back of his neck and pull him in for a deeper kiss. Even when he thinks Zye is going to pull away, he doesn’t. A tongue brushes along his lips and Jace eagerly parts them to let it in. It’s only for a moment before Zye retreats— a tease to the end.
He settles against the couch with a wink. “Encouragement to do a good job so you can hurry back.”
Getting to see a smile from Jace before he leaves does wonders for his mood. It gives him the smallest lift up that he doesn’t even realize he needs. The only problem is Jace is leaving in the next moment and he’s alone.
Which normally isn’t a big problem. Zye is most comfortable alone and relaxing with a game. But there’s nothing like that to keep him busy. He’s not even quick enough to drag up his phone to find something to do on it. It all means that the thoughts are racing in faster than he cares to acknowledge them. Thoughts that dredge up feelings.
Having the treatments is one thing. Having a boyfriend that cares about him is another. At the same time? It’s creating a level of turmoil inside that he’s not sure he can handle. He’s happy— beyond even. To have three of his best friends at his side and Xerxes off safe with his own life? He couldn’t ask for more.
Zye slumps further down the cushion to where his head rests against the back. His feet kick up onto the table as he tugs the blanket tighter around his body.
Happiness is a beautiful emotion. It also happens to be a bright light, one that shines to the point where he can see all the darker areas that he’d rather not acknowledge. Suddenly he’s not living numb and trying to survive. Love wasn’t something he had and he wasn’t looking for anything better.
Contentment with things neither getting worse nor better. Acceptance that he knows about his own mortality far sooner than most.
A huff leaves him as he drags a hand up over his face. He flicks at one of the bangs daring to droop back down from where he’s styled it up.
“What’s with the sour noises?”
Zye bristles at the sound of Shae’s tired voice. The man usually heads straight for the kitchen when he wakes up. Yet today, he’s moving straight for Zye. He stops behind the couch and leans his arms on the back. Zye looks up just as Shae leans over him, looking down.
“What’s wrong, cutie? Left all alone?” When Zye cuts his eyes away, Shae lets the sly tone drop. “Zye, what’s going on up there?”
“I…don’t know what to do.”
“About?”
“When you know something isn’t a lie but your brain says to doubt it anyway.”
“Pff— Zye. Dude.” Shae straightens up as he chuckles. Doing so, he pats Zye’s cheek on the way. “Wake up, will you? Stop trying to find something wrong with something that isn’t.”
Zye sits up so that he doesn’t have to meet that critical gaze. He folds his legs on the couch and scoffs. “If it was that easy I wouldn’t have asked. Never mind, just go do what you’re doing.”
Shae pokes at the back of his neck. Except he retreats before Zye can swat him away. “Seriously. He likes you, don’t overthink it. If you do you’re just going to end up finding reasons why he wouldn’t.”
“I didn’t say—”
“Didn’t you?” Shae finally begins toward the kitchen to get a drink. “Besides, I wasn’t born yesterday. When you got back you were so happy. It only makes sense that after today you lost a bit of that honeymoon phase glow.”
Zye feels his phone vibrate against his side. Digging it out and unclipping it from his waistband, he waits for Shae to leave before looking at it. Not that he has to wait long. The blond is already moving back toward the hallway.
“Anyway, I’m gonna grab a shower. Afterward, we can talk about our feelings. How’s that sound?”
“Or you could not and head off to work like a real adult.”
“Nah, that’s boring. They won’t mind if I’m late.”
The footsteps move away until he can’t hear them. It’s only then that he peeks the phone up from the blanket, letting it fall away just so his hands are free. He half expects it to be Jace, yet it’s not. It’s Xerxes— the last person he expected to get a message from today.
Emotions bubble up inside of him.
He hopes the kid is doing okay. Hopes that those other boys have stopped harassing him for being friendly with a Chroma.
He really does miss him. They had so many hobbies in common and he wishes for those simple afternoons back. It turned from being a babysitter to being a friend. Something he misses so much at the moment.
Zye is glad that Shae is busy getting ready for work. It allows him to set the phone on the table and sulk back against the cushions. Knees draw up so that he can rest his forehead against them.
There’s only one thing he has to make it to and that’s Xerxes’s graduation. Everything after that and he’ll be okay with realizing he won’t make it much longer.
It’s a thought that has him wondering how Jace feels about all of this, to begin with. Even after he’s gone, Jace will keep living. It might not be the best or the easiest way to live but for a moment, Zye allows himself to wonder if he could do it too. Maybe, just maybe, he can be selfish and prolong his stay here on this blue marble of a planet.
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39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcPbT2rdEX
Departing that world, Jace heads straight for the one he received a signal from. He follows Gray’s energy to a more rural neighborhood. There he finds the house at the end of a dead-end road and hurries to the back door. Standing outside of it, as if on guard, is Gray himself. There’s a sour expression on his normally stoic countenance. It worries Jace: Could things have really gotten worse while he was gone? Was it wrong of him to take time off? To go so far as to block all messages that weren’t emergencies from certain people?
The porch light kicks on as he strides over, hands tucking into the pockets of his dark gray pants. “Sorry to call you away.”
“Don’t be. Is she already here?”
“Yes. Inside.”
Gray steps aside to open the door and allows Jace to go through first. He follows behind after locking up. It does strike Jace as odd that Gray isn’t masking his power as well today. The signs of a Dark Star are heavily evident from the small horns peeking out between strands of hair to the long sweep of a purple tail.
It resembles what Callua has shown him of a lion’s tail. Of course, Gray’s is two colors of purple versus what one normally would be.
“Did you have trouble getting here?”
Gray nods and steps around Jace to lead him to the living room of the small abode, “I did. But I wasn’t followed. The Star in charge of the safe house we were at was found out.”
“Did they make it?”
A solemn shake of the head. They come around the corner and Jace sees her. He can tell right off the bat why Gray always goes starry-eyed when he sees her. She’s beautiful.
Sitting on the couch with a needle and thread is the only other person in the home. She looks to be stitching cloth together. What she’s making, Jace has no idea. What he does know is that Gray doesn’t hesitate to move to sit next to her. He’s overprotective, that much is obvious. Although, it does look rather adorable to see how he towers high even when just sitting there considering he’s at least a solid foot taller.
She sets her things on the coffee table. Petite hands smooth out over her purple dress. Jace can only assume she made it herself— like many of her outfits. It’s a sleeveless piece with the collarbone to neck portion being fishnet. It matches the style of fishnet stockings.
Pushing back some of her hair behind her ear, she looks up at Jace when he gets closer. The long tresses sweep down her back in a soft gradient of violet to pink. A pink that rivals the color of her eyes.
“Thank you for coming and helping.”
“I’m sorry you’re even having to go through it.”
A gentle smile in return. “It’s not your fault. I appreciate your help in keeping us— and others like us— safe.”
“If anything happens, contact me right away and I’ll be here. The fact that they found one haven isn’t good. They’ll just get cocky.”
Yue nods at that. “They were brutal. A lot of Stars are getting restless regardless of which side they’re on. No one wants to run into a member of the Surge. It’s….scary to work alone right now.”
Gray reaches over and squeezes her hand. It’s a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed. He meets Jace’s gaze with ease despite the severity of the situation. “Most Dark Stars don’t want to go back to Solis. There’s been more acting out in favor of the Surge. Charmilla is still there, but even she can’t be everywhere at once.”
“Do what you can to convince them to keep going. Not cleansing is a death sentence.” Jace glances at Yue next before he turns on his heel. “And please, don’t tell anyone what I’ve done for you. Keep my name out of your mouth no matter what.”
“Y-yes, sir. Of course.”
He turns to leave with fear bristling up the back of his neck. This isn’t good— it’s so bad that he’s starting to feel torn in two. If things are moving, then he shouldn’t be spending time on that little planet. He should be helping Charmilla and keeping tabs on Hax.
Jace doesn’t realize Gray has followed him outside until he feels the hand on his arm. A soft nudge before he starts.
“The Nether…it’s worse than it was a century ago.”
“Then you need to be careful.” Jace gestures back to the house. “Keep her out of things as best you can. It’s no secret how close she is with Ilista. It puts a target on her head.”
“I…I know. What do you want me to do?”
He has to think about that. There’s not much that can be done right now. It’s as if all sides are waiting for one of the others to make the first move. Something Jace knows damn well the only ones that will are the Surge. Neither realm will act on it— no one is working together, after all.
It all makes him want to sink to the ground and sigh.
“Try to stay away from Soren to start as well as the rest of the surge. Be a part of it but make yourself scarce. I’ll speak with Charm about our next step and let you know what I find out.”
“We can’t do anything without support from those in Noctis.”
Jace steps forward and opens a portal. “I know. I have to go, I need to check on the one that has been hit. All I need is for you to keep up the management of the safe houses. Can you do that?”
“Whatever you need, Jace, say the word.”
“Thank you.”
The portal gets closer yet each footstep feels heavier— as if he’s going to sink right through the ground. He’s a bit worried that the grander scale is beginning to shift and tilt. It doesn’t help that his own personal scale is biased.
Especially when all he wants to do is make sure that little safe haven he’s found stays that way. That no matter what Zye, Shae, Kass, and all the others there don’t have to worry about the fallout of what could happen in the heavens. He wants to keep them safe so badly that he knows he has to figure something out if no one will.
There’s only one problem.
Who would ever listen to him or even let him into Noctis?
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39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspjSOqqVZ5
Keeping her requirement for all of them to spend New Year’s Eve together, Callua has made sure they do as well. Not that any of them will complain. Or did for that matter. Not when it’s been nothing but a fun night of games, junk food, and stupid television programs.
What none of them expected was for Shae to drag them out into the backyard. There’s only a single motion-sensor light above the back door that gives the small patio and patches of snow across brown grass. The fence around the yard gives them all the privacy they need as Shae pulls forth from his jacket a box of sparklers and a lighter.
“Alright kids, everyone gets one.”
The sounds of fireworks exploding in the distance are hard to ignore. Thankfully the slight breeze is blowing enough to keep the smell of it away from where they are. Still, Shae is far louder and more vibrant than any of it in Zye’s eyes. Even more so when he spins around once he’s far enough away with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Who’s first?”
He moves further out into the small yard with Callua hot on his heels. The smile she gives him is much like a kid would, eager and wanting to be first. So, he does. A moment later he finishes wrestling with the box and he has the tip of one lit and hands it to her.
The second she has her hands on it, she’s stepping aside and twirling the little stick through the air. Jace can’t seem to take his eyes off of her and the way the light appears to linger where she’s traced it. To the point where he doesn’t realize Shae is handing him one until Zye gives him a nudge.
Zye doesn’t do much with his other than holding it to the side so the sparks don’t hit Jace. Otherwise, he watches his boyfriend wiggle it back and forth. He keeps a tentative eye on Shae and Callua as they light a few more so that they can have one for both hands. If not more.
“All it does is sparkle, it’s no big deal.”
Jace smiles at him, “It’s pretty at least.”
As if willing it to burn down faster, Zye’s peters out far sooner than it should have. Any other time he’d take it as a bad omen. Tonight, he simply sets it down on the edge of the patio. “It’s usually what parents give to little kids. Just be careful it doesn’t hit your fingers when it gets to the end.”
Shae overhears his friend and dares to egg it on. “Says the guy that used to go crazy over them. You’d beg Kass to light more for you so you could hold as many between your fingers as you could.”
“S-shut up. I was a kid.”
“Could at least have fun like one now.”
Huffing, Zye steps away from Jace and toward Shae. “Why don’t I show you where else you can hold them?”
“Why don’t you try?”
Seeing that they’re about to horse around, Callua slips over to stand by Jace the second Zye takes off after Shae. In one part, she’s amazed they’d dare to run around with only the light from the porch and the remnants of snow on the ground. Surely someone could get hurt. In another, it’s just like them to do so.
She grins up at Jace, “Cool right? Kinda like your power, hm?”
“Careful what you say and where.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. But come on, like they’d pay attention to me right now anyway.”
Jace has to admit she’s right about that. Zye is far too busy putting Shae in a bear hug. All so he can grab the wrist that has the lighter. At first glance, one would think they’re fighting. But with another, it’s far more obvious from their smiles that they can’t help but enjoy the playful bickering.
To Jace, though, he can’t tear his eyes away from the smiling face. He looks so happy. So alive and without a care. The prickles of memories it brings back has him wishing he could step away for just a moment to gather himself. Regardless, Callua doesn’t let it go unnoticed.
“It okay, you know, to be scared to live a little.”
“I’m not—”
Callua gives him no time to try to explain or say anything else. She slips an arm around Jace’s waist and gives him a hug before bounding over to the two boys. She comes to a stop next to them just as Shae drops the lighter. Chuckling as Shae finally wiggles from the hold, she eyes him down. “Are you sure you didn’t get anything bigger? More explosions?”
“Hell no, I can’t be trusted with that stuff. Besides, it’s barely legal enough for the ‘proper’ people to handle ‘em.” Stretching his arms high over his head, Shae yawns. “But we can go watch the show that’s about to start. They’re pretty cool.”
“Mm…fine. I guess that’ll do.”
Shae and Callua pass by Jace as they head inside. The man strides up to Zye while he picks up the box and lighter at Shae used. He turns to stand toe-to-toe with Jace— the man that doesn’t say a word, merely gazes at him.
What he doesn’t expect is to be pulled into a hug. One with strong arms wrapping securely around his waist and a palm resting at the center of his back. It’s not that Zye doesn’t like it, it’s just a bit confusing with how suddenly it happens.
“Jay? Is something wrong?”
“Nothing. I just…really like you, Zye.”
“I really like you, too. But what’s—”
The hold loosens enough for Jace to draw one arm between them to lift Zye’s chin. Noses brush together as he goes in for a kiss. It’s soft and gentle, much like the way he clings to Zye. Almost as if he’s afraid to initiate the kiss in the first place. Trembling lips pull away only for Jace to lean his head against Zye’s shoulder.
Returning the hug, Zye resorts to standing there until he can get the guy to admit something is wrong. “You can talk to me, remember? Especially if it’s about me. Or us.”
Those arms return full force in their embrace. The gentle squeeze they give has Zye’s heart fluttering in his chest.
“It’s…a little scary to like someone this much.”
Zye pats at his back, “Yeah I can understand that.”
“You do?”
“Feelings are overwhelming. You wouldn’t believe how often you pop into my thoughts.”
Jace lifts his head to meet the honest gaze. It has him wanting to be just as clear with how he’s feeling. Especially when it does feel different than his last relationship— it’s unknown and strange.
“I don’t think you get it. It’s not that I’m jealous or anything. I just want to be with you all the time. I want to know more. Experience more. Maybe…maybe I’m just…I don’t know.”
But they both do. It’s the painfully obvious fact of the matter. One of them will keep living for a very, very long time while the other is wilting faster than a flower at the end of the season.
Still, Zye tries not to make a big deal out of it. “Sounds like you’re a little greedy about where I spend my time.”
“I don’t mean it like—”
“No, no, I get it. I’d rather spend more time with you, too.” Zye pulls away enough to have his hands settling on Jace’s arms. The warm skin feels heavenly against his cold fingers. It has him remembering to scold Jace later for not bringing a jacket outside. “I feel the same sometimes. Wouldn’t it be fun to just run away and live somewhere with to—”
The back door opens enough to kick the light back on that neither had realized went off. Shae steps out with his jacket tugged tight around him. “Are you two coming or not? Did you need help with— Oh… uh… sorry, never mind.”
Before he can retreat back into the house, Jace is tugging away from Zye. He pulls away first with a smile. “Let’s go back in.”
Jace strides past Shae to get inside, not realizing that Zye hasn’t moved an inch. It takes him a moment to shake the nerves and move to where the light can hit him again. Once he’s close, Shae whispers over to him just in case Jace is still just inside the door.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine, I was just putting my foot in my mouth. Probably saved me.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
“You know what you said, the honeymoon stage. Everything is great and sparkling.”
Shae grins from ear to ear. “Fell too hard too fast? What’d you do? Propose?”
“No! Idiot…Just living together or I was about to. Which would have been stupid.”
“Dude, you already have a roommate. Me.”
“I hate you sometimes.”
“And you’re smitten with him.” Shae gently ribs him with his elbow while taking the lighter and the nearly empty box. “You know, fuck it. If all else fails and you did, if it didn’t work out you can just move back here.”
Zye rubs at the back of his neck. “That only makes me feel a little better.”
“Come on. It can’t be any worse than that dick outing you in front of the entire soccer team. And he had the nerve to still have a girl on the side.”
“Difference is, I beat the shit out of him and almost got expelled.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t. It worked out. This will too. Come on, we deserve some happiness in our life, right? Take it and don’t be a dumbass about it.”
Shae grabs his arm and begins tugging him toward the door.
“Besides,” he starts again while drawing out the word for far too long. “He goes all heart eyes when he sees you. Like a dog when their owner comes home.”
“Did you just…compare him to a dog?”
Shrugging, he lets go of Zye and opens the door. “I think he’d look great in a collar.”
Zye rights his jacket on his shoulders while Shae juggles the items. He grabs the door, holding it open for the blond. “Why is everything about sex with you?”
Shae grins wide, he’s not letting that one go. “I never said anything about it. That’s your own dirty mind. ‘Cause you know deep down you’re just as bad as I am. It’s why we get along so well.”
“I thought it was because we grew up together.”
“Yeah, sure, maybe a little of that, too.”
Zye shakes his head and follows Shae back inside. Completely distracted by his friend, he doesn’t pay any attention to the feeling that creeps up the back of his neck. He simply walks inside and lets the door shut behind him. He doesn’t want to look over his shoulder— there’s usually something there, after all.
It’s a good thing he doesn’t.
Off in the corner of the yard are shifting shadows. Shadows, that once the light flickers off, begin to move forward. For a moment there’s nothing but the dark presence. Just as it gets closer, stopping at the edge of the patio, it reaches out a long dark tendril. It brushes over the cement before letting its azure orbs settle on the door— staring endlessly at it.
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