The clothes are more than appreciated even if they don’t entirely fit. The pants are strangely not tight enough. They hang on his hips well enough thanks to pulling the strings tighter. However, the shirt isn’t easy to salvage until he pinches the excess into two sides and ties it into a knot— a makeshift crop top.
Having managed that, Zye lifts up the coat. Looking at it feels so strange. As if he should remember it. Running his fingers along the fluff on the edges, his chest aches. Zye sweeps it on over his shoulders.
At first, it hangs there. The weight feels good and it’s not overly warm despite thinking it would be.
“Zye, I love it. Thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like this.”
The painful thrum in his chest comes fast and hard. It slams into him like a truck. He can’t focus or think. All he can do is tug the material closer around his body as he stands there. He wishes he could sink to his knees instead.
“What…the hell?” he mutters to himself.
Zye rubs a finger beneath his eyes and catches the tears that won’t stop coming. He furiously swipes them away even if they don’t seem to be stopping. The tears race down his cheeks faster than he can wipe at them until the fear hits him.
The noise he hears off in the distance manages to do the job good enough.
Swallowing hard, Zye flicks the bathroom light off just in case it’s someone or something dangerous. The lightest footsteps make their way into this back room.
“Zye? Are you here? It’s Callua.”
Flipping the light back on, it’s the only signal he can give her. It draws this familiar voice to him quickly. He’s grateful for that considering his voice catches while he drags his palm over his eyes once more.
The appearance of the woman before him is from his memory— something he hasn’t had of her in so long it feels. However, it fades away into something new. Shorter, wavy hair and an outfit that billows about her body.
She’s about to come apart at the seams. He looks different to her, too. It doesn’t help that Jace’s cloak is draped over his shoulders and there are tear tracks down his face.
“Oh God, you’re really okay! It’ll be alright, I promise.”
She surges forward. Callua yanks him into a hug that threatens to squeeze too tight. Zye doesn’t mind at all. He hugs her back and pinches his eyes shut. It’s as if he gets it all back regardless of what’s happened. Her visage fills in many of the blank silhouettes in his memories.
“You…you look so different.”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I changed it up a bit. But I guess you did too, huh?”
“It looks good. I always thought you’d look beautiful with short hair.”
Callua flushes and pushes him away, slapping at his arm. Until it hits her and she’s clutching his wrist. She stares up at him with the hope that it’s true. “You remember me? But Jace said…”
“I do. I don’t know…I saw you and it just came rushing back.”
“And Jace? You don’t remember him?”
The look on his face tells her all she needs to know. It has her reaching up and wiping some of the lingering tears. He gently pushes her wrist away.
“Well, the memories are still there. We’ll get them back and take it slow. Don’t worry.”
“I’m just glad you’re here. I…I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I forgot you.”
The anger at himself for letting it happen— letting someone or something erase her is high. She’s too important to him to have been forgotten, locked away in the furthest reaches of his mind.
Callua pats his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m here now, right? We’d never let them get away with doing that to you. Now, Jace told me you’d have something to show me?”
Zye shifts the cloak so that he can hold out his right arm for her. Her eyes follow the way her fingers trace over the markings.
“N-no way…it really was that. Did he tell you anything?”
“He said we’d talk when he got back,” Zye replies with a shake of his head.
“I…damn it, Jace.”
“What did I do now?”
Callua spins around to see Jace standing there with clothes and two medium-sized jars of water in his arms. She huffs at him and slaps him on the arm. He tries not to jostle the water while setting it down against the bedroom wall.
“You big dumb idiot! What happened? Did it really work? Is he okay? What do we do now?”
“Callua, calm down. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine and you know it!”
“No one knows he’s changed to Hax’s seat. As long as he wears that or is near me, no one else will either. I need to keep him hidden from Kerse for as long as I can.”
“Okay…fine.” Callua takes the clothes from Jace and turns to hand them to Zye. “Get dressed. We’ll stand outside so we can keep talking.”
Callua and Jace take either side of the door with Jace scooting the jars down a bit further. Meanwhile, Zye hangs the coat on the sink and works on changing into his own clothes. He glances toward where they wait.
“Are the markings why I can’t send messages to Ilista or Xerxes?”
Whipping her head around, Callua hates that she reacts. She brings her hand up to her face, covering the flush beneath her eyes, and turns back around. “What do you mean Xerxes? Why would you be able to message him, to begin with?”
“Ah…well…see, Xerxes got caught up in everything when I ran away. He’s still deciding whether or not he wants to stay. Ilista said it was the only thing she could do at the time and they’re helping him work through his trauma of…Daichi killing him.”
“That little— He touched Xerxes? I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him a thousand times over for that.”
Jace pats her shoulder. “We’ll take care of him next, don’t worry.”
“That’s—”
“He’s not safe to keep around,” continues Jace. “His soul needs to be cleansed and sent on. It’s my job to take care of him. Neither of you needs to carry that on your shoulders.”
Zye, now dressed, comes up to the doorway with both jackets in his hands. He keeps the blue one Jace got him close to his chest while holding the other toward Jace.
“Keep it on for now. How are you feeling?”
“Better actually. Whatever you did worked. It’s just a bit sensitive.”
“Haaa…I’m glad you’re okay. It’s dangerous out there and you could have been hurt worse than that.” Callua settles her hands on her hips. “We need to be more careful.”
Jace pushes away from the wall and summons forth an orb of fire to float around them. “I don’t know how long or how much power this place has. Or why.” He leads them back down the stairs and flicks on a light. “I’m stepping out but not leaving.”
The reassurance does little for Zye who watches him slip out onto the back porch. Zye is sure he knows why. It’s because he’s someone important and he has zero clue about it. Zye flashes Callua a smile as he moves to the couch, plopping down on it.
“Sorry. All I know is to rush in, right? Pretty useless in something like this and I can’t even remember who he is.”
“Dammit, Zye. No pity parties, it’s not like you.”
Callua marches over and grabs his shoulders, staring down into the emotional gaze that begs her for help.
“Don’t you dare start. You worked your ass off while you were alive. You’re lucky he walked out. ‘Cause he might pander and gently tell you it’s okay. But I won’t. Say it again and I’ll slap some sense into you.”
“It’s fine, Cal, I—”
“No. Others took advantage of you. That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means they’re wrong for doing it in the first place.” Her tone softens as she rubs his shoulders. “Please don’t think you’re useless.”
“What’s going on?” asks Jace as he idles on the outskirts of the living room.
Zye lowers his gaze to his knees and takes Callua’s hands from his shoulders. “It’s nothing.”
“You two, I swear.” Callua strides over to Jace and grabs his wrist. Tugging him to the couch, she doesn’t step away until he sits down. “I need to get some info out of Adrian. Is there anything you need?”
“Those jars I brought. Turn the water into something solid…ish. I think ingesting some purified water from there will help speed up the recovery. They’re by the bathroom.”
“Fine. I’ll do that before I leave.”
She gives them both a look before heading back upstairs. Shooting Jace a sheepish glance, Zye rubs at the back of his neck.
“I really am sorry I can’t remember you. I wish you’d just tell me. I mean, I can figure it out if you’d rather give me a hint.”
“It’s alright.”
“It’s not! I want to remember and I can’t. I don’t know what to do unless I get back to Celeste. You’re so familiar just like…” Zye stops, it does feel right and it’s clicking into place. To hell with anyone telling him. “…like the guy from the dreams I’ve had.”
Jace smiles at him, “Relax. You’ll remember in time.”
Zye turns in his seat with one hand slapping down onto the dusty cushion. “You don’t get it. It feels like I’m just a ping-pong ball bouncing around to everyone else. I’m not stupid. You wouldn’t risk so much for a nobody like me.”
“You’re right. You’re everything to me. Just as important as Callua and I…”
He trails off and Zye hangs on, wishing he’d finish. “Even if I can’t do anything right?”
“You’ve let me see your weakness, your strength, your kindness, and how much you love people even when they looked at you like you weren’t right. So yes. No matter what, I’d fight for you to be able to choose what you want.”
Zye grumbles as he slouches against the couch. “Yeah, well, I want to know what you were to me. Come on, one more hint so I don’t make an ass of myself.”
“Your well-being is all that matters to me. This leftover issue with your memories could tie into your powers or even your soul. I’d rather have you here and okay until I can get you back to Celeste then.”
“Jerk,” he scoffs. His eyes notice the way Jace moves his hands into his lap, far away from him. It gives him an idea that has him sitting back up. “Can I touch you?”
That has Jace’s head snapping up. Purple and blue finally meet with silver. “Wh…what?”
A blush touches Zye’s cheeks as he rubs his palms over his thighs. “I just was wondering if that’d help. Cal did and it seemed—”
Turning partially, he grasps one of Zye’s hands, holding it in both of his own. “Whatever you need, just say the word.”
Zye can’t escape that gaze now that he has it. The burning silver he’s seen since he died. It’s a color that’s haunted him. A name to accompany it that has his chest tight and fluttering free all at the same time. Part of him is scared to find out a definitive answer. The other calls the first part stupid and wants to dive right in.
It’s the second that wins.
His free hand lifts up, surprising Jace, to say the least. It goes straight for Jace’s cheek. He brushes the tip of his pointer finger over the tattoos beneath Jace’s eye. The second he does he’s recoiling. The shock that goes through his body has him jumping to his feet and cradling his hand to himself.
A shock that continues up his arm and into his chest, settling there. The warmth of it is too surprising— as if he’s trying to touch a raging fire.
“Are you okay?”
The worried gaze has him a bit embarrassed with how he reacted. “No—I mean, yeah I’m fine. Can I…do that again?”
Jace nods and stands, going to him this time. He doesn’t want to push too hard or get either of their hopes up. It’s why he waits— allowing Zye to be the one to initiate it all. Not that Zye finds it easy. His outstretched hand is having a hard time finding a place to settle on. Where he wants to touch— what he wants to do might be too much while not knowing anything.
Despite the urge demanding he wrap his arms around this man, he places his hand against Jace’s chest. Fingers spread out over where his heart would be. It’s not skin to skin and yet he gets the exact same result. Except this time he doesn’t pull away before Jace lifts his hand to cover Zye’s.
The second he does is when Zye’s knees feel like they’re turning to jelly. The warmth daring to spread through him feels like it hits an icy wall. It freezes his thoughts and chases the heat away until only pain is left in its wake.
A groan slips from him as he goes to crumble to his knees. Against his better judgment, Jace grapples onto Zye. He holds him under his arms, hugging him close and keeping him on his feet. Zye clings to him in return.
Jace glances at the couch and huffs. “Zye? Zye, answer me, please?”
“Nngh…it’s cold.”
Jace moves him back to the couch, sitting him down and kneeling between spread legs. Jace tilts his head, trying to look up at him while keeping him sitting upright. Half-lidded eyes finally meet his and it has Jace’s anger boiling. Those once colorful eyes are a dull gray with a light glow to them.
“Damned Celestial,” he mutters. “Cal! I need one of those now.”
She comes running around the corner with one of the jars in her arms. Skidding to a stop by the couch, she’s glancing between them. “What did you do?”
“Just give me one. Yell at me later.”
Callua hurries to unscrew the lid and get one of the little balls out. Having turned the entire jar of liquid into hard orbs is the only thing she could think of. Almost like they’re a jar of hard candy instead. She hands one to Jace and he quickly lifts it up, pushing it against Zye’s lips.
Jace bites back the frustration when Zye resists at first before finally allowing Jace to push it into his mouth. Once he has, Jace rises to his feet once more. All the while he has one hand on Zye’s shoulder and the other on the back of his neck to keep him steady.
He watches as the color slowly begins to come back to those eyes. It’s concerning to Jace that the power is still this strong even with Hax’s plan unfolding perfectly. He’s afraid to engage this further. The worst possible outcome is breaking Zye’s mind— if that can even happen, he’s not sure.
He doesn’t want to take that chance.
Zye winces as he swallows the last of it. He looks up at Jace with eyes finally returned to normal. “I’m…sorry.” The pain inflicted by whatever happened is nothing compared to the weight that settles on his chest. He felt like he was so close to it— to remembering. “You’ll…let me try that again, right?”
Callua immediately butts in. “No, not until you have more of these. That’s dangerous. What even happened?”
Jace sighs, “Too much too fast, perhaps. I’ll go patrol the area and make sure I don’t need to put a barrier up. I came in earlier because someone was shouting.”
Zye tries to reach for Jace as he leaves and misses. He hangs his head while draping his arms over his knees. Callua comes over, sitting and holding the jar out to him. He takes what she offers beneath his face.
It’s enjoyable at least. It melts on his tongue as finely spun sugar would. The warmth it spreads throughout his body is even better. The sensation is magical, like a warm blanket around him during a frigid night.
He swallows hard.
“I’m letting him down aren’t I?”
“No. I don’t think you could ever manage that.”
“I can’t even get in touch with Ilista. Is there any way you can?”
“That’s what I’m going to find out. If not, I know Gray would get Yue to do the same. She’d be safer in Noctis anyway.”
Zye falls back against the cushions, staring up at the cobwebs around the ceiling fan. “This is exhausting. How do y’all deal with this? Just as I get situated, everything changes again.”
“You get used to it.”
“Hey…Cal?” He glances over at her, waiting for her to look at him. “Thank you, for everything.”
Callua blushes and hands him a third one. “I’ll be back soon, alright? Take it easy on him. He’s missed you a lot and he’s fought tooth and nail to get you here safely.”
“So you’ll tell me—”
“Come on. I’m sure even you can figure it out. If you haven’t already.”
Zye bows his head, rolling the orb between his fingers. “Yeah…I know. Be safe out there.”
Callua watches him for a moment. She can tell he’s just as worried as Jace is for him. If anything, it’s frustrating. Leaving him alone to eat the third one, she sets the jar down on the floor and goes off to find Jace on the back porch.
He’s certainly not patrolling. Simply sitting on the step sending messages if she could guess. He notices her presence and stands, boots daring to pad over the wet grass.
“We need to talk.”
Jace shakes his head, “We don’t have time.”
“Then make time.”
She’s determined and he knows he can’t win against that. Instead, he turns around so that she’s at his level by standing on the steps. When she knows she has his attention, she places her hands on her hips.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m…keeping us safe?”
“Not that, stupid. I’m talking about him,” she says while pointing back to the house. “He’s a mortal, fresh off the boat, and doesn’t understand what we’ve all been doing these past years fighting the Surge.”
“I know but—”
“If you’re about to say your feelings can wait, I swear I’ll hit you.”
“I think I know what I’m doing.”
“And I think you don’t. You were going to make him your Guardian against Charm’s wishes for God’s sake. At least tell him something. Even ‘I missed you’ would work. If this is going to work, you need to be honest with him.”
Jace glances to the side. “I can handle this. It’s fine.”
“Dammit, it’s not. He needs us and we need him. We can’t pretend he’s not going to be scared. You saw him, whether Daichi deserves anything or not he…” She takes a moment to steady her thoughts. “I don’t know if he’s ready for this, to take out Daichi or anyone. He’s only fought Nether, not someone.”
He knew it already. The inklings, they’ve all pointed to it. He knows if it comes down to it, he’ll take care of Daichi. Zye shouldn’t have to shoulder that. Not with the obvious history that’s there.
“I’ll…try. There are a lot of things we have to do and—”
“You boys and your excuses. Remember what I told you, hurt him and I’ll make you regret it. Goes the same for him. So, work on getting close again, okay?”
“I will, I promise. It’s not that I don’t want to. I’m just worried it’ll trigger something and hurt him like it just did.”
“I know. Baby steps. So relax with him until I get back. I don’t think talking and telling him things will hurt.”
“He’ll want to do more.”
“Right, right and you can’t tell him no? Maybe give it a try.”
Callua leaves him standing on the steps by walking backward into a portal. He heaves a sigh and idles for a moment. Jace knows she’s right. It’s why he hauls himself back inside to see Zye reaching for the jar she left by the couch.
“That better not be your fourth one already.”
“It’s helping though?”
“I don’t want you to overdo it. If your power manifests, Kerse could possibly track you.”
“Oh…Sorry.” Zye’s hand retreats to his lap.
Jace comes around the side of the couch and picks up the jar with the lid dangling from the side it’s hooked to. “Don’t. I didn’t explain. We can increase the intake slowly.”
Closing it, he sets it back on the ground and is about to walk away when Zye reaches out for him. He stops just shy of it, regretting having started after what just happened.
“Thank you…for everything.”
The smile that lights up Jace’s face from the statement has Zye’s eyes widening. The sight has Zye’s stomach flipping. Even more so is the hand that extends out toward him. At first, he stares at it; strong fingers, calloused in places, thick knuckles, well-manicured nails.
“Do you mind if we link energy signatures?”
Zye shakes his head, “What? I mean— what does that mean?”
“I prefer to ask before I do it. All you have to do is focus on the other person, like opening a mental door for them. It’ll be easier to initiate once you have more energy at your disposal.”
“Oh, right, that.”
He squeezes the couch once before lifting his hand to meet with Jace’s. The grip is comfortable and warm. If Zye focuses hard enough he can feel it— a link. Something so minuscule and easy to forget is there. Quite the opposite of what he knows he can’t remember about this man in particular.
Wishing he was braver than he is, Zye sits there. The hand unclasps from his and Jace is turning away. He wants to reach out— say something— demand he stay until they figure this out. He wants to claw at his head and dig the memories out himself.
He knows it doesn’t really matter. They can make more and new ones. Yet…it does matter to him. So much. He wants it all back so bad. It would justify reaching out and taking that hand back in his own.
“You should try to get some rest, come on.”
Jace scoops up the jar and begins up the stairs. Zye is slow to stagger after him. The entire time he’s trying to think and piece his feelings together, not to mention how to get them across. All while trying not to look in front of him.
Returning to the back room, Jace flips the light switch on. He leaves Zye idling by the threshold. It’s as if he’s a man possessed with how he makes sure the bed is good enough. The top duvet is thrown off to the side for sanitary purposes. A quick jot over to the closet produces two spare blankets.
“Anything else you need?”
Zye shakes his head and walks over. He takes one of the blankets from Jace. “Nah, this is good.”
“Then if you need anything, send me a message. Otherwise, I’ll be just outside making sure things are safe.”
“I…I’ve never sent a message to anyone. How does it work?”
“Try it, focus on me, and talk to me in your head.”
He raises a brow at that. It sounds so strange. Then again, it was pretty weird when Ilista told him about it as well. It’s not particularly hard to think about Jace when he’s standing right there. Well, that and the only thing that’s been on his mind is this man.
If Jace isn’t the one in his dream-like memories, he’ll jump off a cliff.
“Thank you,” is the simple thought he sends the silver-eyed man.
Jace gazes at him with such a longing that Zye shifts uncomfortably beneath it. He’s about to ask if it worked when Jace sets the other blanket down.
“You’re welcome. Get some rest. I left those other clothes just in case these aren’t comfortable to sleep in.”
“Wait, your jacket!”
Zye holds it out to him, and for a moment, Jace hesitates. Jace accepts it back with a nod. He doesn’t say another word and to say it upsets Zye would be an understatement. A sigh slips from his lips before going to find those clothes he left in the bathroom.
The pants are a dud. The shirt, however, he can at least change into. Zye folds up his clothes and sets them on the bedside table. At least, after he wipes it off. In the baggy shirt, he crawls into the bed and beneath the blankets.
It feels strange.
It’s not his bed, after all.
A fact that’s easy to forget the second he starts thinking about the connection between his mystery man and Jace. Especially when he’s sure the latter won’t give in and say anything unless he makes the first move. A confident one at that.
They sound the same. The gentle touches and the smiles that are burned into his brain. Not to mention his gut instinct. Callua has hinted towards it even further. The fact that neither will say anything says volumes.
Zye groans and rolls onto his stomach. He buries his head against his folded arms in an attempt to sleep. As he tries to drift off, he can hear Shae’s words loud and clear in his mind. Something that helps put another nail in the coffin.
“Just try it, okay?”
ns 15.158.61.48da2
