Unlike the ones he works under, Jace’s room is nothing but simple, plain, and boring. It shows nothing of his character or himself. Not that he spends very much time in there aside from sleeping and cleansing. Then again, in his opinion, he shouldn’t be. There’s too much that needs to be done— something that Charmilla drilled into him from the start.
Jace lets out a sigh as he sinks further into the water. It’s warm and soothing to all of the scratches, bruises, and cuts littering his body. The gash on his back is the worst— it’ll take a few more minutes to heal back up at least. Regardless, it allows him to lean his head against the edge.
Damp hair splays out over the polished stone floor. Beneath the bright light above him, it almost takes on the appearance of gray tile. A light that can have him seeing stars if he were to stare directly up at the white light. Instead, he tears his eyes away from the pale orange walls and closes them.
The thoughts that swirl through his mind are never-ending. Every time he thinks he’s gotten one step ahead, there are a handful of new problems that appear. The glaring issues are the ones he can’t do anything about.
Shae is sick. He can’t cure him no matter how badly he wants to.
Callua is in deep with Soren. He can’t convince her to give up and go into hiding, not when she has a suspicion that he’s brewing a scheme.
Then there’s Zye. No matter how badly he wants to drag him out of Noctis, he knows he has to be patient. It doesn’t deter the stray thoughts of getting in touch with someone— anyone— from there and talking to Orion.
Maybe, just maybe, the other man would listen and relent. However, he also remembers the apprehensive looks he was getting at the meeting. Or how he was dismissed so coldly after giving his report.
“Everything is under control. You may leave,” Orion had said.
Jace knows it’s a lie. Nothing is going as it should and things are only getting worse. Yet no one wishes to admit it. No one wants to fix the root of the problem. A root that he can’t even seem to find yet.
A wave of energy passes through his mind and it has him wanting to groan. Of course, his small moment of peace is interrupted. He permits the energy signature to enter. As he does, he tries to sit up without aggravating the gash that’s still healing.
He waits patiently for the footfalls to get closer. He can barely hear them at that. If it weren’t for the presence and the swish of the curtains, he’d not know Hax is there. The man strides a little closer while Jace sits there, keeping his back to him and eyes on the water.
Jace makes a move to get up but Hax turns slightly. “No need, I won’t look.”
“Why are you here? I thought the walls had ears and eyes in them?”
Hax laughs as he directs his eyes everywhere but the man he talks to. “This is the safest place here since it’s yours. Regardless, I’ll need you to be on standby. I’ll be sending you a message to go and retrieve Zye due to a deal I’ve made.”
“You didn’t mention anything about that.”
“I’ve been busy while you were working. It did take a bit of convincing and surely Soren will have relayed all of what I’ve said back to Kerse. We have to be quick.”
Water splashes up onto the stone, darkening it as the water pools there at the edge. Jace’s hands slap against the edge as he turns around, eyes finally daring to land on Hax. The latter can’t help but look over only to glance away. The man in the water is naked, after all.
Jace’s gaze hardens. “I thought you said we should wait. Maybe if we go talk to—”
Everything is suspicious when he feels like he can’t trust anyone. It doesn’t help when Hax only heightens that feeling.
The man runs his hands along the shawl draped over his arms. “Trust me, Jace, this is the best way. I have it all taken care of. All you have to do is retrieve him from the rendezvous point.”
“What about—”
“Don’t worry. We’ll get this step done and then we can worry about the next one.”
Jace doesn’t agree at all. He hates that he wasn’t included in this plan. He’s just supposed to fall in line and do as he’s told. What does it matter who Hax is if they’re not working together for the best outcome? It’s becoming increasingly clear to Jace that Hax works alone only because he thinks he knows the best way.
It’s something he’s trying not to do to Gray or Callua. He doesn’t want control, he wants a party of people working toward the greater good.
And then there’s Hax. All of this plotting and Jace knows all too well it’s because they’re lining up in his interests. It has nothing to do with wanting to help him or Zye. Doing all of the grunt work to where his body aches isn’t helping matters.
He’s pissed, yet swallows it down for now. Instead, he keeps his tone even as he wades closer to the edge. “What do you get out of all this?”
“I just want the same thing as everyone else. To live.”
Jace is hardly stupid. He can see how layered and guarded that reply is. Getting an answer, a true answer, out of Hax is going to be impossible.
Hax begins ambling to the curtain. “I’ll let you finish up and get dressed.”
Jace watches him slip back through the curtains. Left alone, Jace takes his time in getting out and snatching the towel he left to the side. He can’t deny the fact that there’s a bit of excitement— of hope.
He wants this to work more than anything.
Having to put faith in someone he doesn’t fully trust is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. Perhaps that’s why he begins to hurry so that he can catch up to Hax. Back into his dark pants and sleeveless top. Jace carries the towel with him, continuing to dry his hair as he returns to his room.
Still there, Hax is pacing before the door. The man seems lost in thought considering he doesn’t lift his gaze right away. He begins to speak, loud enough for Jace to hear, yet not enough to make Jace feel as though Hax is talking to him directly.
“Long ago, we were whole. When Polaris was gone, he left us a lineage he hadn’t intended. A young girl lived and grew old, started a family, and created the familial cycle that I’ve followed for centuries.”
Hax stops walking and glances at Jace. The towel hangs from his fingers with sharp eyes never leaving him.
“I’ve tried keeping this descendant safe. However, she’s already produced some blessed tools. It takes a great toll, you see, and I’d like to keep her out of this mess. Of course, I’m sure you’ve heard of this already.”
“What are they?” asks Jace as he steps toward his bed. The coat he wears has been discarded there, already repaired by his Mark.
“Tools or objects much like that medallion you showed me.”
“And you’re against asking if she can make something that could help?”
Hax shakes his head. “No, I would. I have. Except…she’s missing. I can’t find her.”
Jace snatches his cloak up and marches over to Hax. “You can’t find her? I know Soren was with her last.”
“I don’t have eyes everywhere like you think I do. But yes…and that worries me. I need you to put out some feelers for any information about her.” A smirk touches his lips. “You don’t believe my worry for her?”
For once, Jace doesn’t falter and he doesn’t bite it back. He does what Zye would do.
“I’m sure you can understand why. She’s useful to you.”
Jace watches those slender shoulders sag ever-so-slightly at his admission. Suddenly he’s regretting coming over to stand toe-to-toe with this man. He can see too much and how beneath that fragile mask is something more. Something that looks like a man on the verge of giving up.
“I worry about you as well,” he starts. “Sending you into those lion dens isn’t easy to do. You’re the only one on our side strong enough and see how you got beat up?”
Hax reaches out toward him. Those fingers get so close to Jace’s cheek before he’s pushing Hax’s hand away. It’s a gentle denial if anything.
“I got careless. It won’t happen again.”
“You should be sure of that. Otherwise, you really won’t see him again.”
“Right…Hax, I have a question I’d like to ask and I don’t want you to dodge it.”
“Hm…An odd request. I’ll humor you this time.”
“You don’t care for the Dark Surge anymore. Why not give all you know about this to Celeste and Orion?”
It’s a question that Hax wants to desperately dodge. Jace can see it in the way thin brows straight out and eyes narrow. He’s hit a sore spot to the point where Hax turns on his heel. The break in eye contact allows him to form his words more carefully.
“They don’t approve of what I do— have ever done. At least, Orion doesn’t. He won’t accept whatever I could give them.”
“Not to overstep, but I think Celeste would listen. At the meeting—”
“Jace,” he cuts in with a stern voice. One that immediately softens back out. “Thank you.”
“Pardon?”
“This job needs someone like you. Someone far more qualified than what it has.”
A brief silence settles between them until Hax summons a portal to leave. A coward’s escape so that he doesn’t have to chance facing Kerse or more of Jace for that matter. They both know that’s the reason.
“Regardless, please cleanse as soon as possible after these missions. You don’t want to end up like Kerse. The emotions you cleanse and take on can taint even us, just like those you’ve seen.”
“I’ll be more careful.”
“See to it you do. You’re too important to be knocked out of the fight now.”
Jace waits for Hax to leave. The portal simmers back down and he’s left with his thoughts once more. He knows he shouldn’t delay for long. He needs to make a stop in Civicus and then meet with Callua, seeing as she doesn’t always have a lot of time.
Still, he hesitates.
Doubt and anguish are welling up inside. He doesn’t need to not cleanse to do battle with the dark sensations that tell him he should give up on this fruitless endeavor. That he should do as he was taught and continue keeping the peace no matter the cost instead.
There’s so much on his mind that he feels like he’s ripping apart at the seams. It’s getting worse at that. The only shining light in the distance is this “trade” and Callua’s reassuring words. It means nothing until he sees it come to fruition.
Jace squares his shoulders, gathers his coat, and calls up a portal to take him far away from here. It dispenses him outside the front of Ruby’s Light. So early in the morning, he’s not surprised to see only a few stragglers outside. It doesn’t matter to Jace, he’s only here for two people.
He fishes his phone out of his pocket and tries to call Shae. The line goes busy and then dead. It’s very possible that Shae didn’t charge it again and it means he has to do this the hard way.
The door swings shut behind him as he hurries inside, eager to get away from the stares. The young woman at the desk looks up.
“Excuse me, I’m here to see Kass.”
“I’m sorry, hun, no one can ask to see her without an appointment.”
“Can you tell her that Jace is here?”
Her eyebrows raise at that. Long, manicured nails click across the semi-opaque touchscreen on her desk. A moment later she she gives him a sheepish smile. “I’m so sorry, I’ll let her know you’re coming up.”
“Thank you.”
Jace turns from her and makes for the stairs. It’s hard to keep his pace steady. Even harder when he can hear the whispers from a few workers as he goes by. They wonder what he’s doing here— why would he be back?
It confuses him. All the more reason to get to Kass and make sure everything is alright. Stopping before her door, he gives a gentle knock.
“Come in, dear.”
He shuts the door behind himself to give them privacy. Moving over toward where she sits on the couch, he finds it hard no matter how much death he has to see.
She’s visibly aged. Not to mention she appears frail and petite beneath the thick wool blanket draped over and around her. A cup of coffee sits on her lap with fingers clutching at it.
It makes sense why no one can see her by simply asking. The last time he was here it wasn’t a problem. He was told to knock and she’d let him in. Now…his brain struggles to hurry and calculate how much time has passed. Or is there another reason?
He stops beside the couch opposite of her. “I’m sorry for showing up out of the blue.”
“You look well, Jace, I’m glad.”
“I promise I won’t be long. I—”
“Dear, please, calm down. It’s alright. I might be old as the hills, but I’m not going to shatter. Come here and sit.”
Taking the seat across from her, he tries to relax.
“Now, tell me what’s wrong? How can I help you?”
“Is Shae alright? I came to see him, but he didn’t answer his phone and I don’t want to barge in.”
“Oh…Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. I could have sworn we contacted everyone. I was in the hospital at the time so the staff took care of it. I…my dear boy, he passed away last week.”
“No. I just…I was here…”
Kass smiles softly at him and sets the coffee cup on the table. It wobbles a bit due to trembling hands. She folds her hands against the blanket with fingers splaying out. He can tell she wishes she could reach over to him.
She wants to ground him. He wishes she could.
“I know it’s hard. Watching all your loved ones leave before you is a terribly cruel string of fate in a lot of ways. Please, if you need to stay or wish for someone to talk to, you’re always welcome here.”
Jace keeps her gaze despite wanting to look away. Those clear, bright eyes dare to pierce right through him. Suddenly, he feels like a little boy trying not to let out his emotions— trying to be brave.
“My eldest son will be taking over for me. I’ll be sure to give him your name so you can be on the VIP list. That will help you get in if you need a place to stay or get away.”
“I’m…I’m sorry. Thank you, that’s very kind of you.”
“Come now. It’s the least I can do for one of the people that gave my boys so much happiness. They were like grandsons to me. To know they had good people around them was all I ever wanted.”
Jace begins to stand and he can tell she doesn’t expect it from how she looks at him. He can’t tell her how badly he wants to run away. This is overwhelming, stacking upon what’s already been building up inside. It’s as if he’s going to vomit and he hasn’t felt like that for a very long time.
“I need to let Callua know. I’m not sure she got the message either.”
Kass is immediately rising to her feet as best she can. The table wobbles, the coffee sloshes in the cup, and she lets the blanket drop to the couch. “Jace, wait a moment?”
As much as he wants to bolt, he can’t leave her like this. He can’t deny her what she needs to tell him or do. Jace hurries over and grabs her hands, holding her steady.
“Come to the dresser with me.”
He obliges and guides her over. Once there, she pulls away and begins to pry open one of the drawers. Inside, she retrieves a large brown envelope. Kass places it on the dresser and shuts the drawer. Leaning against it, she smiles up at him.
“I had these copies made. You see, I’ve always preferred physical over all that nonsense they tried to teach me. I thought you should have them since you did keep some of his things.”
“I thank you again for allowing me to.”
“I know how much you cared about him and vice versa. I wasn’t going to deny you something to remember him by. Besides, no one else would have kept it and that makes me terribly sad to think about.”
Her hand reaches out and covers his. It makes it so painfully obvious how thin and small she is compared to him. Yet, she seems so strong. He wants that strength and watches to see just where it’s coming from in her.
Of course, he knows what it is.
Kindness and love. She has so much of it.
“What are they?” he asks softly.
“They’re pictures, dear. So many that I’ve saved over the years and plenty of copies, too. I’ve given some to those that already asked. But these, they’re yours. If you wouldn’t mind sharing with Callua. And tell her to come see me, will you? I miss her.”
“I will and…thank you. I’ll treasure these forever.”
Jace can see the fleeting traces of watery eyes before she bumps against his side. The loose hug is one he gives back to her as best he can. Once he has, Jace helps her back to the couch and tucks the blanket around her.
“Can I get you anything before I leave?”
“Just take care of yourself, boy. Please do that for me.”
“I will,” he replies while returning to the door with the envelope in his grasp. “I have a promise to keep.”
Kass gives him a wave and blows a kiss before the door shuts. He pauses for a breath before leaving. There’s an ache in his chest that makes him want to stay. He could talk to her for hours. He wishes he could tell her everything and ask what she’d do.
Taboo.
Not allowed.
Instead, he returns to the cabin he’s been fixing up. A place he’s told Callua to meet him. He doesn’t expect her to beat him there, yet she does. Standing outside the door with arms crossed beneath her bosom, she huffs at him.
“Where did you bring me to?”
Jace can understand the query. It’s a desolate world with no life save for the wild flourishes of nature. There’s not even an animal to be seen— nothing. He’s not sure what happened but it was populated at one point.
Otherwise, there’d be no dilapidated or overgrown cabins to find across the landscape. Still, he’s picked this one to fix up as it’s a short walk away from a nearby lake.
“It’s quiet and out of the way.”
“It’s a mess. I guess not as bad as over there,” she says while gesturing to the mess of vines and wild bushes packed around a tree. “Did you clean this place up on your own?”
“Yes, now hurry in.”
“Well, I didn’t want to assume and be rude.”
Callua spins around and jiggles the handle until she can open the door. The two of them slip inside with Jace allowing the sunlight to spill in until he can open the curtains to a window before he closes the door. Once he does, she can see all of the notebooks strewn across the floor with another pad of paper to the side. Jace has been making notes.
“What…is all this?”
“I’ve gone through most of the Dark Surge’s bunkers and collected these. Some are from the Surge. The others are Hax’s personal ramblings. If anything ever happens to me, you need to get the things from this place and take them to Celeste. I think they’d listen.”
“J-Jace, slow down. There’s…why would…what’s going on? Is this about those that are being experimented on? Did you find a cure?”
“No…I can’t find anything like that. If they would stop and cleanse— that’s the only way. Otherwise…we have to take them out like regular Nether.”
Callua bends down, one arm balanced on her leg as she glances over the books. “That’s so sad…”
“There’s also mortal experimentation. Hax, from what I’ve gathered, was trying to implant them with energy to give them some kind of protection from Nether. Being able to see them and us seems to be a side effect of that.”
“Wait. Zye could see them, you don’t think he was one of them do you?”
“His mother’s name is in one.”
“Dammit.” Callua groans and stands up. The frustration coming off of her is palpable. She's angry— pissed— at this revelation. “That’s got to be why he’s so interested. I knew it was nothing good.”
“It’ll work in our favor if we do this right. Besides, seeing Nether helped him a lot. It’s how he met you, right?” Jace fidgets a bit as he grabs a small end table to bring over. There, he places the envelope. “I also went back. Shae didn’t answer and I—”
“Jay, you can’t keep doing that to yourself. You don’t even go back to your home and you’re in Civicus half a week their time.”
“I missed a week or so because of the last bunker. It took more out of me than I thought it would.” He brushes off the scolding look she gives. “Cal, Shae passed away.”
He watches her heart sink. The light in those tangerine eyes darkens and grows glossy. She’s going to cry and it’s the hardest thing for him to witness. Even more so when he’s the one that’s spurring it on. He doesn’t want her to ever be sad again and here she is, tip-toeing on the precipice of misery once more.
“I just…I just talked to him.”
“I know,” he replies while closing the distance between them. The soft tone doesn’t help get through to her. The way he grabs her hands in his does. “I saw Kass while I was there. She said to come see her when you have time. But she wanted us to have these.”
Guiding her over to the table, he finally lets her go after brushing a thumb over her knuckles. She tentatively pulls away from him only to open the envelope.
“You can have whichever ones you want. You can do whatever you want with them.”
Callua opens the flap and peers inside. Pulling out a few of the photos tucked inside has tears welling up in her eyes. They can’t be held back and begin to trickle over her cheeks. There are so many packed in that she can’t believe it.
It’s a gift she wants to hoard, share, and treasure until she can give them back to Zye. The pictures range from toddlers to teenagers to that Christmas night where they were all together one last time.
She can’t hold onto them no matter how badly she wishes to. They drop back into the envelope and to the table. All before she’s diving into Jace’s open arms with a wail caught in her throat.
Jace doesn’t dare say a word. He can only wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. Between the sobs is an occasional slap of her hand against his chest. A solid hit, but not one he can’t take. All until they become fingers that cling to him as she slowly sobers up.
The shaking shoulders become steady. Loud sobs turn into tiny hiccups that she bites back. Even the grip she has on him loosens despite not pulling away.
Callua sniffles as she stands there. “It’ll never be alright. We’re trying so hard to fix things that others pass us by. I…I didn’t…I miss them so much. I knew it would happen but not like this. I just…”
“It’s alright. He knows we cared about him.”
“I know that. I… if I wasn’t doing this I could have been with him.”
It breaks his heart to see her crumble. She’s been so strong since they’ve lost not just Zye, but also Charmilla. Two of her rocks are gone. All that she has left is him and they’ve both been so busy.
“I hate it— I hate it so much. What more are we going to lose?” She pushes away from him in that moment. “I don’t even like going back to Solis without you there.”
Jace brings his hands to her shoulders, looking straight into watery eyes. “Please, go back and cleanse. And if anyone causes you trouble, reach out to me immediately.”
“What? So you can beat them up? I’m not a kid.”
“Yes, and I know you aren’t. But I can’t lose you either. We have to protect each other.”
“This…absolutely sucks. You need to watch yourself around that snake of a man. I don’t care what good he’s doing, I don’t trust him.”
Jace watches the way she cuts her eyes to the side. She hates talking about Hax, he’s more aware of this with each passing day. Not that he can blame her. Nothing is black and white. Certainly not while that man is at the heart of it.
“I don’t fully trust him either. Don’t worry, I’ll watch what he’s doing.”
She looks up at him at that and is surprised when he brings the edge of his coat up. He brushes the soft material over her face to clean up the tears.
“Dammit,” she mutters. “I was going to see Xerxes, too. Now I look like a mess don’t I?”
“You look as beautiful as always.”
Pouting, she pushes away from him. “I hate you now, too. Liar.”
Jace steps up behind her. “I swear to you after this is over I won’t let you get put in a situation like this again. We’ll do our job and enjoy each other like we should have been doing all along.”
“You’re so stupid and corny.”
“And you’re a sourpuss.”
Callua spins back around, hands on her hips. “Butt-head.”
“Come on, I’ll take you there if you’d like.”
“You won’t stay.”
He can’t dare pretend he’d say anything otherwise. Not that it deters the small smile he shows her.
“I won’t. I have to get back to Hax and find that girl that can make blessed tools before Soren does something to her. He also has a plan to get Zye back to us, so I need to be on standby.”
“Jace…I’ll see what I can get out of him when I get done with Xerxes. I can’t believe he moved her that quickly.” Callua reaches up and begins to straighten her hair and clothes. All before striding back to the table. “In the meantime, I’ll see what I can dig up. All I can tell you so far is that Vespera is the mole and she has a tool.”
“Zye…it’s a trade. Him for whatever she wants.”
“I can’t figure out what we’re giving her, either.” She picks up the envelope and begins to pick through the photographs. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s tough, you know that.”
Callua sighs as she sets a stack of pictures on the table and takes a few with her in the envelope. “I guess so.” She turns away and calls up a portal. “I’ll bring this back, just want to give him a couple of these.”
“Take what you want.”
Together, they go through and come out a block away from where she’s supposed to meet him. While they walk, they slowly make their presence known as she holds the envelope close to her chest.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“I wish I could stay longer.”
“Maybe next time, hm?”
They stop outside of a small cafe with a young man sitting at a table near the windows. She smiles and waves at him, gaining his attention, to which he returns the favor. Meanwhile, Jace is turning on his heel to leave.
“I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Please be careful. I don’t know what—”
“It’ll be fine and I’ll see you later.”
Callua watches him disappear into the people hurrying down the sidewalk. She hates saying goodbye. Even more so watching someone walk away. It’s why she hurries into the building and over to Xerxes.
Taking her seat, she can’t help but grin. “You’ve gotten so tall! And I love the streak, it’s cute.”
“T-thanks. Um…I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.”
“Psh, no. That’s just a friend of mine that offered to walk me here. He’s a little overprotective. In a good way.”
“Oh. That’s nice of him.”
“I’ll introduce you next time, okay?”
“Hm? You don’t—”
“I do!” She lets the envelope sit between her arms as her elbows brace against the edge of the table. “He’s a very special person.”
A light pink shows on his cheeks at that. “He’s your boyfriend?”
“Oh, no, no. He’s taken I’m afraid, by a dear friend of ours. And won’t even look at anyone else now.” Callua slides the envelope toward Xerxes. “In fact, he gave me a little gift. Said I can do what I want with them so, these are yours”
Xerxes cautiously plucks it up and opens it. He’s unsure at first, almost afraid to confirm his suspicions. Doing so has the well of emotion bubbling back up to the surface. He can tell what the pictures are of without having to so much as pull one out for better inspection.
Callua smiles, watching as Xerxes tries so hard to keep his on his face. “You know, his birthday is coming up. Maybe we can do something together.”
“Yeah…I really miss him. That would be nice. But…are you sure I can have these?”
“Yup! I thought you might like a couple to have since you don’t have much else from him aside from what he gave you when he moved.”
Xerxes is tearing up and all Callua wants to do is pull him into a hug. Instead, she resists as best she can and works to change the subject. “So, what’s new? You said you made a new friend?”
“I-I did, yes.” He fidgets in his seat while setting the envelope aside. “She’s really nice and fun. Kind, too.”
“Oh? Now I’m curious. When do I get to meet her and make sure she’s good enough for you, hm?”
“Well…I’m moving soon. After his birthday, so maybe we can get together then? I, uh, I got the job.”
“Xer! I’m so fuc—” She ignores the looks she gets as she returns her volume to normal. “I’m really proud of you. Just let me know when and I’ll get the big guy to come with me.”
“I will! I think, I think you’ll like her too.”
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