So...this is something I feel needs to be said. This is slightly built on my preference for tsunderes, the type who are easily flustered not the ones who are violent, but it also comes from a place of safety for myself but also for literally everyone I know. As someone who was cheated on, I have a bit of a thing about loyalty in relationships, but this isn't about loyalty more so than obsession. I've seen people saying how great it would be to have a yandere girlfriend, but I have to disagree for a lot of reasons.
The first is about that obsession. We all want a significant other who pays attention to us, and actually enjoys our company, but there's a point where personal space is needed. A yandere will not give you this even after they have you. They want to make sure that they are not the only girl/guy in your life but almost the only person. I am someone who definitely enjoys my personal space, maybe a bit too much, but space is good when I get it. I don't mind being with other people, but that space is needed. A yandere will grill you for simply offering a hello to someone or for being even slightly late, ready to tie you up in their basement if not kill you and then kill themselves to be with you forever.
Next is what they're willing to do for you. They are willing to go to the ends of the Earth for you...and there in lies the problem. As someone with problematic family members, I definitely have a line in the sand as to where I will continue to support and help someone. A yandere, doesn't have that limit. They will kidnap someone, torture them, kill them and then offer you their severed finger as a gift to show you their love and devotion. The only person I know who would be excited for this...is another yandere. I can't think of any average person who would want to be complicit in murder, kidnapping and horrific torture when the law gets involved.
Also, and I think this bugs me the most in anime, when the yandere is very open about their more murderous habits, when the main character finally decides to go out with them, it's less out of actual affection and more to save those around them. It's not about finding a reason to love them...it's giving them what they want so there's a chance they'll stop. It bugs me when people are forced to be stuck in relationships regardless of gender, but since most yandere are female, it really grinds my gears that the guy giving himself to stop her is seen as a positive outcome. Yeah, she might stop killing people, it doesn't change the fact that she at least tried and should be prosecuted for it.
Needless to say, I don't think a yandere would actually make a great significant other. It's just a breeding ground for a toxic relationship and a relationship that is built on who knows how many lies. I'd rather have someone who finds it hard to express her feelings or is nearly emotionless on the outside but warm on the inside because they're still upstanding citizens. Besides, it's fun when your significant other is easily flustered and making them flustered because they're adorable. Have a day....
ns 15.158.61.8da2
