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根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68IHha8ZUg
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAMafSND3u
蠻有意思的名字。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JhbmYoqJX
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qFRfovbAU
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4680TxNmhQ
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3cUDtLaG6
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr1OFjVgmu
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhydjMqvfB
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfGAR3OBaY
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIoVEznBcc
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6432tmxSqW
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡri52EBI52V
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1SpOoIFz2
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKs2Sx5pZD
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9d9hwJmMC
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhtxzOaCrd
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXv2n98bmp
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAlUA0wCbp
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPivIBz2Jfk
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmPQZlj7hY
「她有透露去處嗎？」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWveqY32zF
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX13qCzcBf
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6BGx9aHWS
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LKRPZ2hX0
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB11Pyu8SDU
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvt7iroOtV9
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhgSoKnqnJ
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcAdGVtszn
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2mWKf6HMP
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvzfSPUk9G
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnTsWujs48
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Vr5YDOsNC
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO4r7PFCzU
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ufwltQTsL
我只得坦白交代。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3UGvbx23c
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzixiHtceHb
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMi4oPypwx
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgwA2dvjxg
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqM6f0AglCZ
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinHi1MTGx1
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPDXXnpAyq
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHLgUCjbM9
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QXN4bwX2g
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4kxDrlnTX
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMmYdYlhOr
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUa8nNWoNs
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv00HcgdE9
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oCiejx6R1
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlczEf71qE
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuw8vg3SSv
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjCGfYWSy5
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58k0ffFsla
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvtlO5vd6r
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz4n7IIyBb
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CCmBJCvcf
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OOp64O3Aj
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaiWaSf59q
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbaJUk6VNE
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhpzmtL2pQ
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0UEPTGrju
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxKiAbHoTy
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQoClgCxzt
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrSclQ1go9
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvDiJN16Fi
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoGdHnLkPb
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj4XltRWq5
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkcDIXCRxO
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhQB8aVext
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdURGZCFhdE
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus4QOQfCuG
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcfnqKnwBp
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ10rQLC4WO
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lFCLp61n6
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU9cbxjvaI
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99lFNYhhhi
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIHoPLsPAc
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrcXIPr08E
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYa2JrTuQ1
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DKKaPMomh
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCGQrJZAIr
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nWTdHccZN
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KVPtoslaV
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ1U6Qp3Wf
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxhRBEONY6
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwVnfRyc5M
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN8NSavi2M
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBmuCOTrfX
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAai8piZjw7
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkm6gSCVJj
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOT7jfnoT7
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYn0dXw7aX
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGumr8XB0r6
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJLQJ4Won1
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdmgxBbRYH
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgx0i74cHJ
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a6zp8Y5Wo
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjeheLnI8S
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBBvaatY0M
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZ3ENnjzQW
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlTchTaVpT
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax5V2cuR90
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc0QpczHru
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8glpWxKRih
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQKjjHVqfS
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XQr8rBYFV
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvxQ8x223m
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHN5GMgLGl
479Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eZkugc6j1
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
