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接到出版社新指令當刻，我意識到寫作生涯正要面臨終極考驗。在我面前僅餘兩個選擇：屈從或離開。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOd7UhmHSD
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULKGmRQCHh
我笑，笑自己，笑自己毫不猶豫作出選擇——屈從。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxEzH59m1h
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJCNDkzkLb
「好的。我會試從這方向去構思。」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI9kyrfegv
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGCVrnjU5B
「不是試，而是必須依循這方向實踐！」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmUhG9Isvk
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPG3w38VGCX
「好的。」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRqOJMI61n
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdW4WB4UPH
多聊幾句不著邊際的，編輯突然說要忙其他工作，我也識趣乖乖走出辦公室。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaf6eoLFsJ
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQlJxJaWWb
在咖啡廳一隅找個僻靜位置，點一客蛋糕，要一杯咖啡，細閱悉才會面時寫下的筆記。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjxNYYE7xh
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSWSg4bUY7
嗯……該怎樣形容此刻感受？被否定？被看貶？被強逼？被侮辱？以上皆是。但我沒料到上述所有感覺綜合起來得出的結果並非「憤怒」，而是「無力」。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqvCPdgrv3
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LXf5nqwj0
潮流，風潮的流動。流的，動的，變幻的。追上潮流就會成為大眾模楷，追不上潮流就會被淘汰。我明白這是自然不過的淘汰過程，所以無法生起憤怒。若說真要怪罪任何人，也只得怪責自己——我還未開明得敞開心胸拋下固有思維去順應潮流——可笑我沒有絲毫怪罪之意。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwqAIakino
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQamFwlrBQ
對於今日困局，我早有心理準備。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7B5EpPySy
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KjaOgDPY3
不過在發生當刻，無可避免覺痛。大半輩子的努力付出和個人信念被一下子全盤否定！一直以來支撐我孤身走來的精神支柱被一下子推垮！我還可以相信甚麼？我還可以依靠甚麼？430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDERtdWGg0
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJDFZZhjbI
內心波濤洶湧，表面淡然幽雅。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHzm2JWMNb
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF3WR3jhtu
既然過去和將來沒有必然因果關係，那就好好享受當刻這口蛋糕、這口咖啡。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiVlCPZfHq
家，書房。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYYvSUW9rK
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpUqKP4P8a
開始鑽研編輯提供的清單上所有作品，看看時下作品有何熱門題材和成功因素。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86jvp9nI6L
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CJEoVIh0R
修仙、穿越、同人、BL、絕境求生、困獸鬥、對抗強權、自殺、權鬥、道德批判……題材五花八門，卻也萬變不離其中。基本元素仍是沿用多年以來最受歡迎的愛情、成長、友情、英雄主義、個人主義、諷刺現實，變的只是包裝手法（題材）或呈現方式（劇情必須極端、人物情緒起伏必須激烈）。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrQV8KsTms
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnOjl1K1j3
這下子，我似乎明白了「甚麼」，心深處卻又抗拒這些「甚麼」。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8uLhuyiMG
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtplDXlt5e
我放下資料，離開書枱，走到窗邊，倚窗抽菸。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tq1n55B4d
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvTCS7QQP1
嗯。獨居果然是個正確決定。爸媽受不了菸味，與他們同居只會悶死我。他們常唬嚇我說抽菸習慣會嚇走好男人。我對此一笑置之，沒有反駁——兩老將近七十歲，我沒可能單憑三言兩語改變他們活用幾十年的觀念。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisdCke4HDI
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWn8i886we
情況有如編輯的幾句說話沒可能扭轉我沿用多年的人生觀、世界觀、寫作觀。若說我不思進取、固執、老土落伍，我會承認，然後反問對方認為我該根據幾多人幾多意見去改變我的思維、活出我的人生才算得上積極進取、從善如流、新潮前衛。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaMogLXrTJ
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8k2wrmCuPX
相信對方會熱諷一句：「難怪你的作品賣不了！」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZP74mtGq56
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEc3X1Vmvq
情況正如兩老常於親友飯聚場合當眾冷嘲：「難怪你嫁不了！」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu1k6b4gpV
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOYKT6QYgF
唉！感覺真糟糕，卻沒奈何。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG4dbex4sD
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2atjASnVY5
只得再來一根菸。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINjgQHwyPS
動筆。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nTl4Atlpk
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BF0aLw2WS
主角沒頭沒腦掉入不知哪來的時空裂縫，進入神仙世界，與位列末席的異性神仙共同修煉，推翻殘暴不仁的天界首領。然後與己方戰友鬧翻，開始明爭暗鬥，爭權奪利，結果禍及人間，令長站道德高地的主角黯然退下，在人間結識天真無邪的凡女，情愫漸生。誰料昔日天界紅顏湊巧下凡，得知凡女與主角關係，醋意頓生，視凡女為情敵，施以毒手。主角同性摯友為免主角煩心，暗中保護凡女，卻不自已對主角生起愛意，向主角表白……寫得順暢，寫得精彩。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6pAv7zG9l
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ201fCNnrMB
完成作品後，我馬上發送電郵予編輯，內容簡潔直白：「我寫不了。請另找高明。」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVH2hjH5uz
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL2EC69PSQ
刪稿，關電腦，將手提電話調至靜音。世界與我無關。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyDqDy354m
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabDZuoLy8p
我卷縮被窩，無法入眠。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlrzTJHmDW
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0A0H4V8Z6
我在這世界存活幾十年，如今首次意識到自己與世界之間的矛盾何其激烈，而我自己對此又是何等無能無力無奈。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPgUZDKVk4
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9kEGAFd3t
那種震撼令我忘記各種宣洩方法：哭、睡、逃避、傾訴、吃喝玩樂……430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYEog5sVjF
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaG7fogtMRT
整個腦袋幾近空白一片。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bwlb7Ijy4
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZM7Tnp7Fa
各種情緒猶如乾沙，沒能被搓捏成任何形狀。若強行抓起沙子，沙子自然而然從指隙流走，掉落地面，散開、飛逸、無影蹤。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloGZPPdG72
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANkaHHRIx8
沒法子。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1W6rgScbT
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36zxfFAglg
只得待時間為我整理混亂情緒。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGzn9eeANS
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt5J7Boaiv
正如只得待潮流將不思進取、固執、老土落伍的我淘汰。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5ZuX4lYv5
