
天亮,上班。883Please respect copyright.PENANANJ6Vhvo8mL
883Please respect copyright.PENANAwRuJjUg5GH
擠進人山人海的車廂,心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物,我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟,好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。883Please respect copyright.PENANA7pmJ8RZJ2R
883Please respect copyright.PENANA3EoyIpxYTZ
車廂一如往常,平穩中帶輕微搖晃,教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲,繼續進食,令人側目。883Please respect copyright.PENANAQkViKYBukd
883Please respect copyright.PENANA9pppG7Qkuf
食物的細碎,像沙子一樣,在人們毫不注意的情況下,悄然掉在地上,再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站,人們再肆意加以踐踏,令碎粉再度粉碎。883Please respect copyright.PENANAoibR583r32
883Please respect copyright.PENANABTmZVuyRqs
到站了,我有意無意地繞過人羣,「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉,心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上,我回頭望進車廂,想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉,但列車經已開駛。883Please respect copyright.PENANA8IdwK3g1HZ
883Please respect copyright.PENANAuvqrm6z53G
看不見,罷。
天黑,下班。883Please respect copyright.PENANA98RoysX98R
883Please respect copyright.PENANAKs3JwUAy9p
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂,繼續講上司的壞話。883Please respect copyright.PENANAsTzuyuLnTx
883Please respect copyright.PENANA4c6BGkX0Eg
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。883Please respect copyright.PENANATvKLMWvu6R
883Please respect copyright.PENANASaXILRwVI9
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不!有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰?我看不見……我不想看見……883Please respect copyright.PENANA2cZNmMiTZC
883Please respect copyright.PENANA1bByEvqPDx
「啪」的一聲,男同事一手拍在我的小腿上,那隻螞蟻——扁了。883Please respect copyright.PENANAgHZTVGXcBz
883Please respect copyright.PENANAwXLxIqpoN1
「沒事了!」他笑了笑,問我:「你很怕小昆蟲?」883Please respect copyright.PENANApJEHf0pgiE
883Please respect copyright.PENANAtI9n4pGcRR
「不,只是怕蟻。」我感覺到,我的唇還在顫抖,但卻仍勉力一笑。
公司,午飯時間。883Please respect copyright.PENANAgmf2xLxshR
883Please respect copyright.PENANAzRaIyCx6qy
甲小姐正在上網看劇;乙先生在打盹;丙小姐外出吃飯去;丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒;戊小姐……883Please respect copyright.PENANAAvHPTOl3Ub
883Please respect copyright.PENANA81HoM56WHh
看著同事們的百態,我突然覺得自己和他們一樣,都是很渺小的生命體,小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事,尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌,不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎?那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別?883Please respect copyright.PENANAZBWPWCZGKd
883Please respect copyright.PENANAxpiGaChuDH
驀地,我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過,卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上,讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失,我感到自己也消失了似的。
其實,真正的我只是一隻螞蟻,不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己變成人類,過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活,是有目的的付出,有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑,多奢侈!無他,這就是意義。883Please respect copyright.PENANA5KcHkW0mBv
883Please respect copyright.PENANAymSO5SmkKa
還是……883Please respect copyright.PENANAnJ5nyWaycJ
883Please respect copyright.PENANAs1NJQqYDFB
其實,真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己是一隻蟻,過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味,只懂一味尋找食物。無他,這就是生存!
公司,工作。883Please respect copyright.PENANAQxuzquv4Es
883Please respect copyright.PENANAr528DfqJ0q
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。883Please respect copyright.PENANA6YfzTKTjVX
883Please respect copyright.PENANAxcz6A7whPq
大家心知犯錯的不是我,奈何人是怕事的,只好把我推上斷頭台。事後,一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。883Please respect copyright.PENANAWnTd1h1826
883Please respect copyright.PENANAl31nkGs82Z
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。883Please respect copyright.PENANAX7YFhC7ExF
883Please respect copyright.PENANAuREqZH7n8h
剛巧,一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。883Please respect copyright.PENANA0U8xioRWIk
883Please respect copyright.PENANAZxE5zFdgd7
快意,笑了。
酒吧,喝酒。883Please respect copyright.PENANAxKWKRSYmUt
883Please respect copyright.PENANAHFwJLROFM6
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎?為何現在也怕酒起來?」男同事笑問。883Please respect copyright.PENANAcpjdz2r7jw
883Please respect copyright.PENANAdA4QL32VZ7
「其實,我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。883Please respect copyright.PENANA2j87Ugk57p
883Please respect copyright.PENANAtsF3ROuV1C
「還是……你根本不會喝酒?」他哈哈大笑。883Please respect copyright.PENANAKwDfegQQz1
883Please respect copyright.PENANA26Pb1UdJpS
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲,我突然變得不大抗拒,乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。883Please respect copyright.PENANAFSD58lfGc2
883Please respect copyright.PENANAmoVbZTxq6N
醉倒。883Please respect copyright.PENANAeei25cOjnI
883Please respect copyright.PENANAPzyLV95Hqv
迷糊間,我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體,不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲,想要到它的洞穴去……883Please respect copyright.PENANAigsGWkzrcO
883Please respect copyright.PENANAE9bGPRfRHp
「上天取走你的一扇門,定會留給你一扇窗。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAh0IsjFMyvE
883Please respect copyright.PENANAo1GnwgqSlx
今趟,上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。
假期,醫院。883Please respect copyright.PENANAsOCD5UK2fk
883Please respect copyright.PENANAbi3CpYE1d7
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病,還未明確,因為報告要待下星期才會完成。883Please respect copyright.PENANAy9SZT7d6vF
883Please respect copyright.PENANAWspijrcLCZ
看見媽的時候,家中各人都是淚眼漣漣,很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。883Please respect copyright.PENANAFCBDifTfOk
883Please respect copyright.PENANAfcxrYo1jg6
「我覺得……」近幾天,媽的話都變得斷斷續續:「自己……」883Please respect copyright.PENANA6ovdgziW0l
883Please respect copyright.PENANAAueKPLz5Up
大家都屏息靜氣,深怕這是她的最後一句話。883Please respect copyright.PENANABRncaHFgNA
883Please respect copyright.PENANAfMbfBVQRgJ
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音,輕如柔絲,但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。883Please respect copyright.PENANAsKt1slPBER
883Please respect copyright.PENANAhpg0n15Knk
死寂。883Please respect copyright.PENANAUx1vGsNjWV
883Please respect copyright.PENANAsPZbXuVXxn
出乎我意料,這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話,不論是肉體還是心靈上。
回家,晚飯。883Please respect copyright.PENANAAvJYiR5P6l
883Please respect copyright.PENANAVmvsyDYSrc
一枱六椅,異常的沉默。電視的聲浪,掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意,繼續吃。883Please respect copyright.PENANAnluxcpjlwP
883Please respect copyright.PENANArKoKPQMXBr
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子:「不如外出吃飯。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAYvpDB6XKoY
883Please respect copyright.PENANAWP3VuDoOfI
妹放下筷子衝進房內,甩門;姨低下頭來,但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見;婆呆了,眼眶紅潤;我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。883Please respect copyright.PENANA9g6ZaMYCpN
883Please respect copyright.PENANAyA6xz85klS
我心想:世界末日來臨後,地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻?
每次望著媽,心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣,彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。883Please respect copyright.PENANA9wTjaswPyC
883Please respect copyright.PENANABJkU4lYLNe
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑!就是因為她是一隻螞蟻,所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭,去減輕她的負擔。883Please respect copyright.PENANAmIPwD5gynO
883Please respect copyright.PENANAyI8M1e79sJ
久而久之,我每次一見到她,便會掉頭走。883Please respect copyright.PENANAN0ZwoSyUq8
883Please respect copyright.PENANAP4GNyzGovD
但我知道,我永沒能走遠。
男友家,床上。883Please respect copyright.PENANAl1YYnon1b2
883Please respect copyright.PENANAcOafGV0dBO
前奏後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時,我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。883Please respect copyright.PENANALMKHJyg3cr
883Please respect copyright.PENANAIGC138lyF5
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了,是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示,她要生産了。不消一會,整張床上都是幼蟻,恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。883Please respect copyright.PENANATxXpughEql
883Please respect copyright.PENANAOGggzqB9PW
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音:「他朝君體也相同!」883Please respect copyright.PENANAdUmzBlNzuY
883Please respect copyright.PENANAtf3wHIP567
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力……
舊生聚會,內地某酒家。883Please respect copyright.PENANA6OyZJoanyC
883Please respect copyright.PENANAc4nZ5JoUe4
說也奇怪,舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意,說會給我們驚喜。883Please respect copyright.PENANA78Smw4wcrI
883Please respect copyright.PENANAKt5Fb3yxgp
「蟻宴?」我呆了,但逃不了。883Please respect copyright.PENANAAEBn4l26K7
883Please respect copyright.PENANA0iSwzSiFwg
「你有收看《天與地》嗎?」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。883Please respect copyright.PENANAD5t71OwLM4
883Please respect copyright.PENANAnn3MeEROss
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼!」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。883Please respect copyright.PENANAHnmWNdf7sA
883Please respect copyright.PENANAUmCr955K6D
「結局何如?」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。883Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3nJHiA6V1
883Please respect copyright.PENANAHWQyaz2jrw
「沒好下場!」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。883Please respect copyright.PENANA3TYrIgyqiN
883Please respect copyright.PENANArOmaqVWwTz
「對!沒好下場!」我在心裡重覆著,衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。
男友有很多恐怖的寵物:蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時,他都會放一些寵物在床邊,以增加他的性趣。883Please respect copyright.PENANAnjO3JOHk07
883Please respect copyright.PENANAynpV2BsRmx
今趟,床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後,我不經意的問道:「你的寵物呢?」883Please respect copyright.PENANAOklwuDVAIq
883Please respect copyright.PENANA7WbQMOkMiY
「在你體內。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAdpePNt8f6d
883Please respect copyright.PENANAtJAtwQo8fL
「甚麼?」883Please respect copyright.PENANAdzzqOWhWyZ
883Please respect copyright.PENANAKKl1AUVQiA
「蟻。」
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。883Please respect copyright.PENANAVzxYVE5827
883Please respect copyright.PENANAn3oGCKdhJ9
它平常會做甚麼?做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯,它會做的事真的很多,但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活!它最好立刻消失!883Please respect copyright.PENANA3H0aS00O8f
883Please respect copyright.PENANAhDezqrxPoS
結果,我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。
靈堂上,我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。883Please respect copyright.PENANA9dFgLlxTuM
883Please respect copyright.PENANArrlEiElR89
「她真的死了嗎?」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊,但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。883Please respect copyright.PENANAbxHaEZXiDu
883Please respect copyright.PENANALqEUSOMeGN
「誰?」另一聲音反問。883Please respect copyright.PENANAqvD2qMI5fZ
883Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5g2X4onVd
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道:「她……」883Please respect copyright.PENANARvODzowxpp
883Please respect copyright.PENANAItkuHQStf7
靜。883Please respect copyright.PENANANhfmfBRaNS
883Please respect copyright.PENANAxYZqY7eS77
我回過神來,低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。
我:「我的耳朵有毛病嗎?為何會聽到螞蟻講話?」883Please respect copyright.PENANAeYZhYD3zHn
883Please respect copyright.PENANAmVlKlOJYZw
醫:「不。是你的壓力過大,導致有幻聽。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAj1T1ZeUgGu
883Please respect copyright.PENANAW6Lbi3D9NI
我:「我有精神病?」883Please respect copyright.PENANAh9SFqsQHsK
883Please respect copyright.PENANAfB2P31UqgC
醫:「是情緒病。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAvpmhXZoEJN
883Please respect copyright.PENANAFleU7ZsUms
我:「怎麼辦?」883Please respect copyright.PENANA9eMQZ6JBA5
883Please respect copyright.PENANA33it8bZA8O
醫:「我會處方一些藥物,你要按時服用;另外,你也要多休息……」883Please respect copyright.PENANAK9KbAHE4fT
883Please respect copyright.PENANAUczmimyyEl
我:「謝謝醫生。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAYl7QPeGOlg
883Please respect copyright.PENANApcwmebOvbl
醫:「不用謝。」883Please respect copyright.PENANAEtDdAPVKaU
883Please respect copyright.PENANAzwy7jIxn0v
離開診所時,我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。883Please respect copyright.PENANAdPVUzLiJQl
883Please respect copyright.PENANAgCF2iVLNHd
不,我走近細看,是「虫馬虫義」專科。
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻?883Please respect copyright.PENANANVS3RJS0Et
883Please respect copyright.PENANAkZrdWltcWO
醫生替我作身體檢查,一切正常;883Please respect copyright.PENANAjSwiYphest
883Please respect copyright.PENANAfTnQJ7ZcVk
男友向我解釋,螞蟻之說,純粹幽默;883Please respect copyright.PENANAHpEiWZ0ULA
883Please respect copyright.PENANA8GiwDzzFng
同事都勸我休息,減少工作量;883Please respect copyright.PENANAWqQXLiFfnp
883Please respect copyright.PENANAHp43jQPezL
……883Please respect copyright.PENANAI6Q2eKfm77
883Please respect copyright.PENANA1l0I9XpL6z
「真的有蟻在我體內!」我尖叫,奪門而出,從天台一躍而下,肝腦塗地。883Please respect copyright.PENANAwRim1bo2Oa
883Please respect copyright.PENANAZNTRrfvfrk
臨死前,我看見那東西了——不是蟻,是……