天亮,上班。801Please respect copyright.PENANAS1ET5IILfL
801Please respect copyright.PENANALYcF3tNRli
擠進人山人海的車廂,心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物,我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟,好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。801Please respect copyright.PENANAO3lhL5yaJW
801Please respect copyright.PENANA13h1ppmV1c
車廂一如往常,平穩中帶輕微搖晃,教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲,繼續進食,令人側目。801Please respect copyright.PENANAIP3GEjazhT
801Please respect copyright.PENANAR4S213cAAf
食物的細碎,像沙子一樣,在人們毫不注意的情況下,悄然掉在地上,再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站,人們再肆意加以踐踏,令碎粉再度粉碎。801Please respect copyright.PENANAyBPNC6afrE
801Please respect copyright.PENANAkSIKYmUfBH
到站了,我有意無意地繞過人羣,「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉,心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上,我回頭望進車廂,想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉,但列車經已開駛。801Please respect copyright.PENANApHrMBcNlqF
801Please respect copyright.PENANAsbCikT2Uwt
看不見,罷。
天黑,下班。801Please respect copyright.PENANAPBs4GJt2fa
801Please respect copyright.PENANArgO5q0i8eL
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂,繼續講上司的壞話。801Please respect copyright.PENANAqdIy4Sfume
801Please respect copyright.PENANAHjU8vKTpXh
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。801Please respect copyright.PENANA1xrQG3RlrA
801Please respect copyright.PENANAaaey9kwR8r
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不!有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰?我看不見……我不想看見……801Please respect copyright.PENANAvQg2mTA9nA
801Please respect copyright.PENANAQzSlYH73gH
「啪」的一聲,男同事一手拍在我的小腿上,那隻螞蟻——扁了。801Please respect copyright.PENANAvPeJkxKMFO
801Please respect copyright.PENANASIoW2RYqEo
「沒事了!」他笑了笑,問我:「你很怕小昆蟲?」801Please respect copyright.PENANArmg04r1vnL
801Please respect copyright.PENANADYtGmTeqpB
「不,只是怕蟻。」我感覺到,我的唇還在顫抖,但卻仍勉力一笑。
公司,午飯時間。801Please respect copyright.PENANAaa5O53IT18
801Please respect copyright.PENANA6c9WVkCoe9
甲小姐正在上網看劇;乙先生在打盹;丙小姐外出吃飯去;丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒;戊小姐……801Please respect copyright.PENANAbsKLiy9vWQ
801Please respect copyright.PENANAXtKgSnFO62
看著同事們的百態,我突然覺得自己和他們一樣,都是很渺小的生命體,小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事,尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌,不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎?那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別?801Please respect copyright.PENANAY2iBIRM2z9
801Please respect copyright.PENANA1GFPSTI21K
驀地,我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過,卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上,讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失,我感到自己也消失了似的。
其實,真正的我只是一隻螞蟻,不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己變成人類,過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活,是有目的的付出,有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑,多奢侈!無他,這就是意義。801Please respect copyright.PENANAWZKlnHbMng
801Please respect copyright.PENANATdoPlL6DdU
還是……801Please respect copyright.PENANAkXZsbir8y9
801Please respect copyright.PENANAiIQTOcdjQj
其實,真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己是一隻蟻,過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味,只懂一味尋找食物。無他,這就是生存!
公司,工作。801Please respect copyright.PENANAqsEcsxnUwu
801Please respect copyright.PENANAprSLiXtRE3
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。801Please respect copyright.PENANAmriaaqQKBT
801Please respect copyright.PENANAC2FtLeroTq
大家心知犯錯的不是我,奈何人是怕事的,只好把我推上斷頭台。事後,一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。801Please respect copyright.PENANArQr743Md9h
801Please respect copyright.PENANAR7MuiF7Bfq
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。801Please respect copyright.PENANA2O54zfCyCa
801Please respect copyright.PENANALujkNDN11b
剛巧,一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。801Please respect copyright.PENANAzIIrML0WGZ
801Please respect copyright.PENANAyAzyvzBJ63
快意,笑了。
酒吧,喝酒。801Please respect copyright.PENANAVAjOeagyWA
801Please respect copyright.PENANAVIwSZ9n1Pd
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎?為何現在也怕酒起來?」男同事笑問。801Please respect copyright.PENANAvOASaE5Swt
801Please respect copyright.PENANALIJueQRh1f
「其實,我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。801Please respect copyright.PENANAcYIIepgULQ
801Please respect copyright.PENANAnHo8LmJ245
「還是……你根本不會喝酒?」他哈哈大笑。801Please respect copyright.PENANAWgloIltF0u
801Please respect copyright.PENANAmySPgp9QIJ
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲,我突然變得不大抗拒,乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。801Please respect copyright.PENANA6lpT59BUAp
801Please respect copyright.PENANAkSizCZPanO
醉倒。801Please respect copyright.PENANAWaNCjizYKg
801Please respect copyright.PENANAS95HHotEQj
迷糊間,我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體,不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲,想要到它的洞穴去……801Please respect copyright.PENANAOIz0yayMXi
801Please respect copyright.PENANAJd2ywcbQ2S
「上天取走你的一扇門,定會留給你一扇窗。」801Please respect copyright.PENANAjzxJNxLisY
801Please respect copyright.PENANAo4EpKlxPOd
今趟,上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。
假期,醫院。801Please respect copyright.PENANAoupH8LcmmE
801Please respect copyright.PENANAAcUhwasLwy
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病,還未明確,因為報告要待下星期才會完成。801Please respect copyright.PENANAoL4AuxzMF8
801Please respect copyright.PENANAJBtaZCYyzg
看見媽的時候,家中各人都是淚眼漣漣,很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。801Please respect copyright.PENANAwXIo3kYekY
801Please respect copyright.PENANAkl7fYTP2is
「我覺得……」近幾天,媽的話都變得斷斷續續:「自己……」801Please respect copyright.PENANAjpO4z7fscV
801Please respect copyright.PENANATK5I2IOXl3
大家都屏息靜氣,深怕這是她的最後一句話。801Please respect copyright.PENANAzLHIr8ewmn
801Please respect copyright.PENANAtH9fLh3F6B
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音,輕如柔絲,但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。801Please respect copyright.PENANALDPa9X0vtA
801Please respect copyright.PENANA9gLHCZ6zrC
死寂。801Please respect copyright.PENANAaDwhK0kUOr
801Please respect copyright.PENANAWStdD6Dllu
出乎我意料,這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話,不論是肉體還是心靈上。
回家,晚飯。801Please respect copyright.PENANAyCcTlDLjUt
801Please respect copyright.PENANAsn8GKbA6Xx
一枱六椅,異常的沉默。電視的聲浪,掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意,繼續吃。801Please respect copyright.PENANABDMWw2pboq
801Please respect copyright.PENANAu4UQu9gjuQ
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子:「不如外出吃飯。」801Please respect copyright.PENANAFP4CR5vpP1
801Please respect copyright.PENANALLxxPMMDSb
妹放下筷子衝進房內,甩門;姨低下頭來,但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見;婆呆了,眼眶紅潤;我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。801Please respect copyright.PENANA3C0NniDpi5
801Please respect copyright.PENANA4PO6u9i1m4
我心想:世界末日來臨後,地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻?
每次望著媽,心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣,彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。801Please respect copyright.PENANA4yX24jrcqV
801Please respect copyright.PENANAzYSdsh1Iuf
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑!就是因為她是一隻螞蟻,所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭,去減輕她的負擔。801Please respect copyright.PENANA1m7JilBFer
801Please respect copyright.PENANA8QzeQWLYw4
久而久之,我每次一見到她,便會掉頭走。801Please respect copyright.PENANAssk050a0lT
801Please respect copyright.PENANAPTy5pMuDok
但我知道,我永沒能走遠。
男友家,床上。801Please respect copyright.PENANAZXs7Y5w3C7
801Please respect copyright.PENANAp9AsPsMXqb
前奏後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時,我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。801Please respect copyright.PENANAQlYFgYTwKO
801Please respect copyright.PENANAakVJczga39
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了,是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示,她要生産了。不消一會,整張床上都是幼蟻,恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。801Please respect copyright.PENANATweN6jKLUP
801Please respect copyright.PENANAjJjYy8PYv9
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音:「他朝君體也相同!」801Please respect copyright.PENANArwYiBWsA3Z
801Please respect copyright.PENANAGYktOSZYcg
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力……
舊生聚會,內地某酒家。801Please respect copyright.PENANAbFWbO3HJB9
801Please respect copyright.PENANAfrzIqOxHnM
說也奇怪,舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意,說會給我們驚喜。801Please respect copyright.PENANApdbFxlHgBy
801Please respect copyright.PENANA2WLxVNqVy2
「蟻宴?」我呆了,但逃不了。801Please respect copyright.PENANAD6aOUPIuUm
801Please respect copyright.PENANA5Et1M9uji9
「你有收看《天與地》嗎?」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。801Please respect copyright.PENANAjxkz8X0Fl4
801Please respect copyright.PENANABPic9JPdrO
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼!」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。801Please respect copyright.PENANA2EM8T4fQn3
801Please respect copyright.PENANAXYO5WUrlDj
「結局何如?」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。801Please respect copyright.PENANAG9LrOfAGuO
801Please respect copyright.PENANAWuCyDiqYd4
「沒好下場!」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。801Please respect copyright.PENANAYSyU0inHcp
801Please respect copyright.PENANAAiuIIBCZSZ
「對!沒好下場!」我在心裡重覆著,衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。
男友有很多恐怖的寵物:蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時,他都會放一些寵物在床邊,以增加他的性趣。801Please respect copyright.PENANAXqL4nCoKHR
801Please respect copyright.PENANA37hVGXD3kV
今趟,床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後,我不經意的問道:「你的寵物呢?」801Please respect copyright.PENANAdsTRx8GzQn
801Please respect copyright.PENANAtBtspIzb0u
「在你體內。」801Please respect copyright.PENANA5F2pBkKvRt
801Please respect copyright.PENANAN7uCmSUfGQ
「甚麼?」801Please respect copyright.PENANA8YBHOb8zNb
801Please respect copyright.PENANAFyguHEVnJT
「蟻。」
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。801Please respect copyright.PENANAP54i2Zk8NR
801Please respect copyright.PENANAZfWA1kKBTn
它平常會做甚麼?做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯,它會做的事真的很多,但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活!它最好立刻消失!801Please respect copyright.PENANA8nNpeO9X3G
801Please respect copyright.PENANAgpAdHsV9yB
結果,我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。
靈堂上,我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。801Please respect copyright.PENANAgWBUg6UNQ4
801Please respect copyright.PENANALzH5v9JoJl
「她真的死了嗎?」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊,但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。801Please respect copyright.PENANAJSYRu1wOKk
801Please respect copyright.PENANAurkehzFugz
「誰?」另一聲音反問。801Please respect copyright.PENANAQyZ0mAiCl8
801Please respect copyright.PENANA2kBD8rgXDo
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道:「她……」801Please respect copyright.PENANAknVZSHBoXC
801Please respect copyright.PENANADPjt3A9jjC
靜。801Please respect copyright.PENANAybPdOWdgWG
801Please respect copyright.PENANA3DQnfD4RHY
我回過神來,低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。
我:「我的耳朵有毛病嗎?為何會聽到螞蟻講話?」801Please respect copyright.PENANAQzORPh5jQt
801Please respect copyright.PENANAjIp6DVIu0o
醫:「不。是你的壓力過大,導致有幻聽。」801Please respect copyright.PENANAOpaXbGAGd6
801Please respect copyright.PENANAoOEG5Grkuw
我:「我有精神病?」801Please respect copyright.PENANAtxwx3pci3G
801Please respect copyright.PENANAjS0ih2LzOo
醫:「是情緒病。」801Please respect copyright.PENANA23UlXHgpl6
801Please respect copyright.PENANA6F3pFjeSb8
我:「怎麼辦?」801Please respect copyright.PENANAshAQhgeyP7
801Please respect copyright.PENANAzcQwkld7rE
醫:「我會處方一些藥物,你要按時服用;另外,你也要多休息……」801Please respect copyright.PENANAFBC5UDedVu
801Please respect copyright.PENANAFAqrJAsba1
我:「謝謝醫生。」801Please respect copyright.PENANA5UpQGUINqy
801Please respect copyright.PENANAazlvfjISGj
醫:「不用謝。」801Please respect copyright.PENANA8DzJEqVH2f
801Please respect copyright.PENANAOlVVvxRb6W
離開診所時,我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。801Please respect copyright.PENANANmloeXWuPY
801Please respect copyright.PENANAYdvLOdKOwF
不,我走近細看,是「虫馬虫義」專科。
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻?801Please respect copyright.PENANAPLX5Qkglmn
801Please respect copyright.PENANAmi6HKK9X3d
醫生替我作身體檢查,一切正常;801Please respect copyright.PENANAKnDHurSSNv
801Please respect copyright.PENANAwS99puh1xR
男友向我解釋,螞蟻之說,純粹幽默;801Please respect copyright.PENANAJdKJ8zmRqh
801Please respect copyright.PENANApUze95LZVv
同事都勸我休息,減少工作量;801Please respect copyright.PENANAmtx66cefm1
801Please respect copyright.PENANADPgy080T8i
……801Please respect copyright.PENANANnqQnDxodU
801Please respect copyright.PENANAqeuG95J7ly
「真的有蟻在我體內!」我尖叫,奪門而出,從天台一躍而下,肝腦塗地。801Please respect copyright.PENANASl0xP4DAl5
801Please respect copyright.PENANAvaaYQg7on0
臨死前,我看見那東西了——不是蟻,是……