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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgK5MURklLI
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpUKKGYoLp
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJt60u2jNy
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUUoqdpFYl
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19abIOmqQk
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMcxXto9Aq
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK36EpKxdfo
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKJL1ivnSo
壓力似乎一併消散。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV4r5COvpn
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDb3BacOo0
茶盡。我再續杯。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl4TmcdWq1
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLepeVE5hHJ
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj29SRDsGbP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9J5gk7hSE
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MoJxxvqrR
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98qljDjbXY
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Cf4CVU0ss
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvQx726bWC
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCqNev5xcs
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU4uBefTD8
夢醒一場空。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8xO7nfMDn
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklPuwh9Aas
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb4l8vowFr
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWs3towva6
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoY9H9T7cP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wcvmFh8Q4
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAZSFhcIWs
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcQcvYhFHc
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl78ZWFtcw
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYCKNuWWe7
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwT18pF3Uo
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4rEb5XHw1
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5VSPeWvoP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY81qUEJ78d
我沾沾自喜。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreJRO3mWAM
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKnve4TZEr
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExHamUqkfC
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBASpNcEvAF
但我沒有向同學們坦白。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9efRT2pgj
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lYfmVIz6a
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNZb9XIQeF
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoFiUiRgr5
努力，努力，努力。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmP9QxzQQv
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1dlYa7XYQ
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWewoZfcEff
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc40h3qaBN
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm9f5sPKjt
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwmYSX7CUn
以為。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfnnCLqHj6
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NQ0NZKzUv
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09lv4PVK27
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC31gThnljx
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRitm2fCUwP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GqMDBbMyL
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2NTXf7hIj
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMGHbhnDxx
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtH4I95tXN
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEfTaabEXk
我的作品感動了我。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGoYMl5w2j
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaYIfew5wn
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNw9aArpwp
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cNUWsZNQk
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE7NNHgGXf
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4FRGCrO5j
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1ICcx3ALO
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KXqLu3ED1
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmjuSYOJx0
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBh5eHKbm99
熱茶又涼了。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiNYd2ksTi
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt22A2otol8
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiS9dCKUhB
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hjeDBL8jk
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz6jPbMoQQ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5mMk0P2zP
我的作品只感動了我。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWF3TrPg8G
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe31zRGn6Pa
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00BWVQvE5w
