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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5gt7UpOKo
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5q2FzX91P
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6GSCtJT2c
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hV6LsfIfP
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGSiFgrDjh
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawj2zpkOn9
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVkMiioi3g
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg2ifuXhFs
壓力似乎一併消散。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i3OjjU23S
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpif8zvtD4
茶盡。我再續杯。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU44Clzciw3
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFaEwsfLhL
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDu2mSP0o4L
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWt7MTjvCz
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvayRkmUCD
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKe5crK0Ag
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Wf7NGH1mh
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rlze6OaKG
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLpKzqV6SY
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8h1NSNu2eK
夢醒一場空。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRypzs0RfwL
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT2dyiyoqZ
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbMmtCJsGV
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD9jTMtjNQ
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTN4SJWVcTd
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4CkkqSwWu
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTODXO7HXl
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU9IdZqkWA
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWSmYgQrLR
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXEh1uwEy7
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuySXJagWg
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9NTs94eXq
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTngMYhiK9
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7mWHYeQWe
我沾沾自喜。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi16pqw3Oyl
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKt7KTnUnI
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtoWM1w3RX
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu4nT4zN0H
但我沒有向同學們坦白。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zpHFlexeu
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhNjl466Bt
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvMB4eB3ay
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOPayHUbi0
努力，努力，努力。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMQcIqX4cP
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyqOPf4Akq
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEHCanVS6x
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkEcvzLhNH
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruUYj5kf9d
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJPYuGfaxA
以為。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSRCh7ssJq
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyMO7byG2M
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkymKGOdV5
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVRFT2Li6E
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAVprZACIs
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5cs99pJEI
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG38ltcyJf
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf5FuQ614K
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1jd170z4d
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Zahys4KiY
我的作品感動了我。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6px8aHPxA6
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4IGvs8O0M
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1zUHC8Xvu
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BXVMGOIlX
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbglTAMRes4
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU81A66uW9
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjikqs4EBf1
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gzRgWU3jM
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH68Xtcezx
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSePZKTKoI
熱茶又涼了。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzxRUb9qo6
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuSGO74aYj
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5ZDNlL0KB
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2eYZZu4zL
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhJdOuXo9y
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIOJqMPiG1
我的作品只感動了我。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nfk1Tnym4
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEPGYMwZs8
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNaStktyy5
