午餐用膳後,男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場,或場上打籃球,或場外觀賽。我亦不例外,在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際,一個籃球高速自後側飛來,狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉,我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁,沒把事情放心上。當然,我也沒所謂,小事一椿。372Please respect copyright.PENANA7YAOxhdbhG
372Please respect copyright.PENANAu78F2omaEc
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。372Please respect copyright.PENANAS52NJ0vxjm
372Please respect copyright.PENANAytIu4bN8b7
匆匆一笑,半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑,僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。372Please respect copyright.PENANAJklWR2LIu9
372Please respect copyright.PENANAYQU9pw42qt
但我還是記住了那抹笑容,記住了他的臉容氣質,記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。372Please respect copyright.PENANAZAgdF5iNrR
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVNF1x1pFJR
為何記住?我解釋不了。372Please respect copyright.PENANA9PwQOI5INH
372Please respect copyright.PENANAHXNm76PHEF
好幾個月過去,夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目,男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起,動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒,說吃飽想睡不想動。372Please respect copyright.PENANAzVHRbIGvor
372Please respect copyright.PENANARbE0W78RK1
我獨坐長椅一邊,納悶之際,兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。372Please respect copyright.PENANAunLksLu2xx
372Please respect copyright.PENANA0KF6DrMoBD
其中一個是他。372Please respect copyright.PENANABvweoMJbyi
372Please respect copyright.PENANA7OCxIBazfB
那笑那臉那明暗,歷歷在目。372Please respect copyright.PENANA6TF2ea6PdB
372Please respect copyright.PENANAhQOQhc6Rle
心頭一顫,我馬上別過臉去。數秒後,我稍為冷靜,意識到自己的失態,佯裝無異,繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣,有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。372Please respect copyright.PENANAaZt5XSfKT8
372Please respect copyright.PENANAOiBsTpwOwg
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時,他竟從後叫住我。372Please respect copyright.PENANAIqAFjsQw6D
372Please respect copyright.PENANAhrjnffFshD
「你遺下銀包。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAfFlGNMc9cj
372Please respect copyright.PENANAFHIL98N4sD
「謝謝。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAANAcoFVkH0
372Please respect copyright.PENANA5PS5tCv7b8
「不用客氣……」372Please respect copyright.PENANApZIXPtwnGk
372Please respect copyright.PENANABYVgS9LA3S
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣,他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼?不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題?甚或是「為何要展開話題」?372Please respect copyright.PENANAr7Ywn3YTyo
372Please respect copyright.PENANAq67DRMmX6G
氣氛尷尬,四目交投,卻不知如何是好。372Please respect copyright.PENANAcBCFMiyZm2
372Please respect copyright.PENANAwDM1WsS3D8
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過,彼此才回過神來,甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上,他往下。372Please respect copyright.PENANAAzNe4F7Rqk
372Please respect copyright.PENANA0Ypwik70ry
誰料在午飯時間完結後,我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊,所以未曾正式認識。372Please respect copyright.PENANAUchmRhl2NX
372Please respect copyright.PENANAQXxQfaIUj4
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。372Please respect copyright.PENANAYEKWa9ko0e
372Please respect copyright.PENANAsErDMby1tq
「我是文班許家偉。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAZIU5qVfS5Y
372Please respect copyright.PENANAsGpVf01D8B
「我是理班李浩榮。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAbWMw9Tglr2
其實我早已知道許家偉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAhynM0y1ZKQ
372Please respect copyright.PENANAGVcvWB0WPU
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAwouTt2HQ4s
372Please respect copyright.PENANA5a5Bcwry7W
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。372Please respect copyright.PENANAGKwPBiLRKq
372Please respect copyright.PENANA7YFjpFGcKD
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別,亦無專長或短處,是個存在感不強的乖學生。372Please respect copyright.PENANArUlb8ADxGz
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVlY0gBX3QM
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他?372Please respect copyright.PENANAWeoPpNgZ35
372Please respect copyright.PENANAAkqY4RtbZm
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝,只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。372Please respect copyright.PENANATYWHluEnzl
372Please respect copyright.PENANApE7Mn2I0vx
不服氣。372Please respect copyright.PENANARklpTMAKk3
372Please respect copyright.PENANAiqJQFEGkWB
繼續觀察他。372Please respect copyright.PENANAIi9LmjuAwj
372Please respect copyright.PENANAcQCPePLZAX
匆匆數月,秋去冬來,我對許家偉好奇不減。372Please respect copyright.PENANAeovihLzRdn
372Please respect copyright.PENANAwgbpNZX80a
某天午餐後,我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅,於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端,近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光,動身離開。正感沒趣,阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡,看見許家偉的學生證。372Please respect copyright.PENANAnZzoWdDCvB
372Please respect copyright.PENANAkrK24i35oQ
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證,再將銀包交到校務處。我反對,擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應,僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步,將銀包遞給我。372Please respect copyright.PENANAWsSkrXeAkD
372Please respect copyright.PENANAoo9l7SaVrq
我急步追趕許家偉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAjo0JrqYjrO
372Please respect copyright.PENANAiheLL9wrVo
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問,我不是討厭許家偉嗎?人前,我一直表達對許家偉的討厭;人後,我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有,尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。372Please respect copyright.PENANA2VVklQ7Px8
372Please respect copyright.PENANAfhr87eQz1H
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。372Please respect copyright.PENANAFNZ6masgqN
372Please respect copyright.PENANAmuwKSdponJ
遠遠看見他的身影,我自然而然打起十二分精神;聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉,我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的;走經中五級壁報板,會不經意試找許家偉的名字……372Please respect copyright.PENANALDWhLuExIq
372Please respect copyright.PENANAtIeIIxC1Vh
「你遺下了銀包。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAXASKbFpai0
372Please respect copyright.PENANAPSI7GwmIao
「謝謝。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAEA4WEDeYFI
372Please respect copyright.PENANAZv189c2avY
「不用客氣……」372Please respect copyright.PENANAFmmqnKFPvS
372Please respect copyright.PENANAV2QD86RJhd
經已物歸原主。他道謝,我虛應,然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。372Please respect copyright.PENANAyXXGSYLnej
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVZEhG7Bbhp
該要說甚麼?還需要說甚麼?沒有啊!但我們還是原地愣著。372Please respect copyright.PENANA9JhmYsSbAX
372Please respect copyright.PENANAJs5UxltMzW
他是否一早知道我?他是否早已察覺我在留意他?不會吧……372Please respect copyright.PENANAMZaKZIakey
372Please respect copyright.PENANAigIpjQzHaY
我望入他雙眼。372Please respect copyright.PENANAmJ0cyGLxQ3
372Please respect copyright.PENANAjz3RI4jaO2
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑,似乎在期待甚麼……372Please respect copyright.PENANAMIUdKG3HM6
372Please respect copyright.PENANAoFjRZNPqYW
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來,低頭轉身離開。372Please respect copyright.PENANA9GfIZd4aPa
372Please respect copyright.PENANArWGszH9pzE
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在,問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容,認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的,不會繼續討厭他。372Please respect copyright.PENANARYEtDxh1gy
372Please respect copyright.PENANA8SaMC6RKrl
上課鈴聲響起,學生魚貫回課室去。人群中,我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了,笑他遲鈍,後知後覺。372Please respect copyright.PENANAm3FO3Ub8jH
372Please respect copyright.PENANA7fYX66uM5Z
許家偉臉紅,禮貌地點點頭,上前自我介紹。372Please respect copyright.PENANACnWl95gRvc
372Please respect copyright.PENANAv6AH5dOu72
「我是文班許家偉。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAnCa5qCWa6z
372Please respect copyright.PENANASxOtYbP3lk
「我是理班李浩榮。」372Please respect copyright.PENANA4FUDB45qh3
畢業多年,我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講,舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料:「你們當年那麼要好,竟然未曾聯絡一次?」372Please respect copyright.PENANA1EBjw643jw
372Please respect copyright.PENANA8Cdfv5XrL2
我笑笑點頭,不多解釋。372Please respect copyright.PENANAQRkq2Og0nr
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVtStc1JfRA
畢業禮當晚,他告訴我,他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰,我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必,因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪:如已釋懷,為何重提。372Please respect copyright.PENANAI79jn8gWOl
372Please respect copyright.PENANAtVNjE7B0gq
李浩榮笑笑,笑說他已覺悟,明白人的真正作用。372Please respect copyright.PENANAfblUc4RcGC
372Please respect copyright.PENANAEzxLIbZ7K9
聽到這莫名其妙的答案,我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。372Please respect copyright.PENANA3ffW9nUICd
372Please respect copyright.PENANA9DMRyWJYcY
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起,或是把深交的兩個人分開,例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中,而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。372Please respect copyright.PENANAPSO99MLlJG
372Please respect copyright.PENANA9NEWRNT0Ib
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過,有點無奈,有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後,我和李浩榮再無交集。372Please respect copyright.PENANACQEz1NlB9C
372Please respect copyright.PENANAheDIiuL3vE
但我沒有阻止他。372Please respect copyright.PENANAsHmkIjDg9g
372Please respect copyright.PENANASgurRypKL4
他壓抑已久,情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。372Please respect copyright.PENANA0nQ9ShZS3L
372Please respect copyright.PENANAQZ7ane0puX
我慫恿他繼續說下去。372Please respect copyright.PENANAl7G9zkcKXH
372Please respect copyright.PENANAaIvHKTMWQo
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子,經常氣得老師向父母投訴,父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀,起初會擔心對方身體,後來發現彼此不怕捱打,只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑,再玩再捱打……玩著捱著,二人同甘共苦十四年,彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我,反倒羨慕我的不起眼。372Please respect copyright.PENANAZD8LJRWftd
372Please respect copyright.PENANAUoGzU1bGqZ
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。372Please respect copyright.PENANA5Jx0R9Tpqe
372Please respect copyright.PENANA01dyTxkl37
「不被注意、不被期望,方能活得自由稱心。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAq5p0UUAT5R
372Please respect copyright.PENANABtFWkfWGpq
我問他是否有煩惱,可以向我傾訴,也許我能想出好辦法。372Please respect copyright.PENANABoI5gR9VCV
372Please respect copyright.PENANA9TgjL3KXwf
李浩榮報以苦笑,沒有正面回答。372Please respect copyright.PENANAZJ2BuW7ChT
372Please respect copyright.PENANA1LVsnjNmZ7
那夜,他喝得爛醉,我送他回家。372Please respect copyright.PENANAl6MS9LCtq5
372Please respect copyright.PENANA04sNKTEYtG
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦,語調急促,不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮,留下一句道謝,利落關門。372Please respect copyright.PENANAqisAbLsJmh
372Please respect copyright.PENANAOOzJkESEmV
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。372Please respect copyright.PENANAWmoRer1fKq
372Please respect copyright.PENANAk5Y2vwPpO7
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害,亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。372Please respect copyright.PENANAppoIOFKRh6
372Please respect copyright.PENANAW1zfbb60zi
但我掛念他。372Please respect copyright.PENANAilNRdpoAMc
372Please respect copyright.PENANAdbbHSGFJJe
不是偶然想起,不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助,不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯,是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。372Please respect copyright.PENANA5g1cVNjUF2
372Please respect copyright.PENANALiKS0t3AnL
想起他,我不期然會笑;想起他,我感覺窩心;想起他,我會自覺孤單可憐。372Please respect copyright.PENANAinCJqn3Lfv
372Please respect copyright.PENANA4iGBLzyEIv
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。372Please respect copyright.PENANA7LxvmRxqms
372Please respect copyright.PENANAlT9OLr9Jjb
糟糕了!怎麼辦?怎麼辦!不知道。372Please respect copyright.PENANAWR4Sr91Ctx
372Please respect copyright.PENANA4aEDEr6Bvq
不要說。不要聽。不要見。372Please respect copyright.PENANAJpdkV5NTiL
372Please respect copyright.PENANAXCFZnEUWSJ
希望時間會沖淡一切。372Please respect copyright.PENANA3BotP5Wq1Y
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。372Please respect copyright.PENANAAypASPvptj
372Please respect copyright.PENANAh9jv0AZzU3
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應,煞是暈眩,有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。372Please respect copyright.PENANAqB4ivrhbRR
372Please respect copyright.PENANAuOCQunbv52
阿媽沒有理會我,背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說:「昨晚是他送你回來。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAXI2PuY3zKj
372Please respect copyright.PENANAIyPJBNZRp0
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛,重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算,反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。372Please respect copyright.PENANARIaamfSPXZ
372Please respect copyright.PENANAn0qWLQf1nc
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAYDvoLFouW3
372Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4mEat3v1S
「我也不明白。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAkdaQiZK9An
372Please respect copyright.PENANAdFh0fpBZsA
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAoXIrnlOupu
372Please respect copyright.PENANAM7v5IJ9HGD
「感覺,並非可以自由控制的。」372Please respect copyright.PENANATGGNkU6cP7
372Please respect copyright.PENANATuKBJ6pmdW
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAxfYEG2t30f
372Please respect copyright.PENANAkEAJ094u6r
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAf03SHamM48
372Please respect copyright.PENANAUBD1bAcx84
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAe5JoJ7LopB
372Please respect copyright.PENANAANmcUeDWGd
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAh85PsufOUY
372Please respect copyright.PENANAUFxarmE6B9
我晦氣,毫不掩飾對她的討厭。372Please respect copyright.PENANAS9EVZo0tLC
372Please respect copyright.PENANAkDnr5NTFQV
阿媽沒再多話,繼續在廚房忙著。372Please respect copyright.PENANA6WMrsGFhy7
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVDSsAQpRqS
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我,為何旁人總愛插手?372Please respect copyright.PENANAkrt4lw57bn
372Please respect copyright.PENANAlnz0W4aaRM
抵著頭痛,我硬撐起身子小便去。372Please respect copyright.PENANAxYZyVewbbU
372Please respect copyright.PENANApZZjdyf5Yu
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下,小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少,昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。372Please respect copyright.PENANAY74bgpuBDQ
372Please respect copyright.PENANAhgRYiMCkBk
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。372Please respect copyright.PENANATnjRf5sjNd
372Please respect copyright.PENANAtbX75pBPf3
真的嗎?我真的把話說出口?372Please respect copyright.PENANA7tftZ6gqcU
372Please respect copyright.PENANAH3iKGbL5JB
為何這麼驚訝?阿強醉倒後,我特意喝下更多酒,不就是為了把話講出口嗎?372Please respect copyright.PENANAs6iBvfT1qF
372Please respect copyright.PENANApQOuoOBAE2
便意盡,醉意消,騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。372Please respect copyright.PENANAvKzgw1czvR
372Please respect copyright.PENANAnZBhvOANxq
為何要走到這一步?372Please respect copyright.PENANAfWak82VD5o
372Please respect copyright.PENANAzLodejvIKO
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情,擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我,乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態,冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。372Please respect copyright.PENANAygjTzCRXtv
372Please respect copyright.PENANAOqBXl1umbm
「世人表裡不一。口說開明,實質守舊。」372Please respect copyright.PENANA3fnKLL7SPC
372Please respect copyright.PENANAMUBVQGb4yi
「是嗎?你呢?你口說放棄,心底裡在支持我吧?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAzWY3PhSWyG
372Please respect copyright.PENANAXmmLwbo1GO
「別倔強。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAjB0FxyrNEi
372Please respect copyright.PENANAMBRxppYFsf
「我想要知道你的真正想法!別敷衍!別蒙混!」372Please respect copyright.PENANAIz3w1HAiSJ
372Please respect copyright.PENANAF1lkAyT0gy
「我想你放棄。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAmeRwFennLU
372Please respect copyright.PENANAUiNBtyaO0t
「原因?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAUWtgLDnLzu
372Please respect copyright.PENANAskO4pCUoC4
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」372Please respect copyright.PENANA2DwSYyPeAC
372Please respect copyright.PENANAL8vvUZi9Lv
「我知道。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAXKGifl7ef4
372Please respect copyright.PENANAzKkezFZVhG
「何解還要繼續下去?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAgUhNMgwca5
372Please respect copyright.PENANAPnkFiRnXFX
「感情易放難收。」372Please respect copyright.PENANA8kdfBAQWnL
372Please respect copyright.PENANA4S3kyfIeTk
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智,她還有何話可說,只得被動地待我回心轉意。372Please respect copyright.PENANAbSl3hJx2SQ
372Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZMrhanSGf
傍晚,我約見阿強,在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀,有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣,我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此!我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足!372Please respect copyright.PENANA33x8912pH7
372Please respect copyright.PENANApgjgSbXYFl
架後,我沒有留下片言隻字,待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去,懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。372Please respect copyright.PENANAHKBJEfjJZv
372Please respect copyright.PENANA7qF0fONzfU
阿媽見我身上有傷,許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事,沒有多問,亦不予關心。372Please respect copyright.PENANACCYnjh3uQ0
372Please respect copyright.PENANAHrdWJrikG6
我不在意,一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……372Please respect copyright.PENANAhyaD3U1mKs
372Please respect copyright.PENANA2zKHkdKWjJ
畢業禮,是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊,戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜,能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉,齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAcCPYo2v22Y
372Please respect copyright.PENANAtlfycboMUf
阿強取來一支烈酒,邀我對飲:「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAxOqFP9kxm9
372Please respect copyright.PENANAOxyzJNTlBX
我欣然接受。他很了解我,許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈,自小經常一起偷偷喝酒,十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下,沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。372Please respect copyright.PENANA9omDUGrHjL
372Please respect copyright.PENANAL7wKLwsgul
小醉。半醉。大醉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAPon7EL10mE
372Please respect copyright.PENANATTE3NM4A1O
阿強半伏枱邊,傻笑問我:「想好如何表白了沒?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAFrwugaEOJG
372Please respect copyright.PENANAFBA5qM0JZB
「直接講我愛他。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAMl9a2KWrIa
372Please respect copyright.PENANAFvxvnVtG4D
「如果他拒絕?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAcWxyvbh9EA
372Please respect copyright.PENANAgWhy033rAF
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAjkA55d7wNU
372Please respect copyright.PENANANiOz4uYaph
「如果他接受了?那怎麼辦?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAKpp1rSLHNc
372Please respect copyright.PENANAF8Su561EmR
「我當然是高興!」372Please respect copyright.PENANAdf5zT6DOJS
372Please respect copyright.PENANAXprODQI1Pl
「我在問,他會怎麼辦?你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切?」372Please respect copyright.PENANAPja6XSEFqa
372Please respect copyright.PENANAR1jt4RRReA
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。372Please respect copyright.PENANAV0UxlDk6LK
事隔四十年,我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。372Please respect copyright.PENANA7O3JgKVCZe
372Please respect copyright.PENANAsXHttdGY0d
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻,但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。372Please respect copyright.PENANA1XgoJR4zkF
372Please respect copyright.PENANAbL2witveEH
李浩榮苦笑,笑容意味深長。372Please respect copyright.PENANAgwHB7tqtRU
372Please respect copyright.PENANAT1UaAkbzMT
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAz9mV3ZN4jk
372Please respect copyright.PENANAdnKYSSpHi0
「活了那麼多年,經歷那麼多事情,我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAREA85oBOyR
372Please respect copyright.PENANAZxZLHYkvsu
「你仍然單身?」372Please respect copyright.PENANA9SD6y3lfyT
372Please respect copyright.PENANAu74Y2DNTje
「是的。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAQMgIsFGlTN
372Please respect copyright.PENANA03Vc8SntrN
「要我當媒嗎?」372Please respect copyright.PENANANjqrEa85bu
372Please respect copyright.PENANAstjwjpdqDe
「不了。難為情。」372Please respect copyright.PENANA4kihMiDd8y
372Please respect copyright.PENANAs41eYeaU1L
李浩榮失笑,笑我不值得被愛。372Please respect copyright.PENANAwtexVbEDcb
372Please respect copyright.PENANAQKO18r7eAB
我陪笑,笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。372Please respect copyright.PENANA74bc7KWGZJ
372Please respect copyright.PENANAAdeTfDBZUA
多寒暄幾句,我和李浩榮相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。372Please respect copyright.PENANABdXNDedLXA
372Please respect copyright.PENANAbeTLKNj7UH
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。372Please respect copyright.PENANAc8WASwOlmX
372Please respect copyright.PENANA18BMGJB2G5
回家吧。372Please respect copyright.PENANAnz5CWvOwVb
372Please respect copyright.PENANARFH0VBPtkj
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。372Please respect copyright.PENANAb1cuEKRaDE
372Please respect copyright.PENANA09aVwuGUsp
「戚戚慘慘悽悽,清清冷冷,覓覓尋尋。」興之所至,我一邊脫鞋,一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。372Please respect copyright.PENANAM7mIvD6MMI
372Please respect copyright.PENANAwkFfwsn7c6
「尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪,懶洋洋得撲到梳化上,順口接上《青玉案.元夕》末句。372Please respect copyright.PENANAJXkYnPyljm
372Please respect copyright.PENANA8sTqAnwqi0
枕臂望窗,映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗,憶起他的臉容氣質,憶起那抹笑容。372Please respect copyright.PENANAG5DAu0H1bx
372Please respect copyright.PENANAoRiSIom6XC
大概是一見鍾情吧。372Please respect copyright.PENANASYQ6hSJxfZ
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVUTwmnoT83
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂,後知後覺。372Please respect copyright.PENANA1wLcI2g2UN
372Please respect copyright.PENANAUXGY0QV0yr
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向,結果會否不一樣?372Please respect copyright.PENANAoZdeGZichr
372Please respect copyright.PENANAwLkWaZha35
我笑自己想多了:結果會是一樣的。372Please respect copyright.PENANAVia9G4Vfna
372Please respect copyright.PENANA4f0f7pKNiK
我是懦弱的人,我珍愛自己,所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情,亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。372Please respect copyright.PENANADVQV9SI4Lf
372Please respect copyright.PENANAJOfFi473Je
李浩榮說得沒錯,我不值得被愛。372Please respect copyright.PENANAlYnVb3hgyH
事隔四十年,昔日摯友躺在棺材裡,往日心上人站在我面前。372Please respect copyright.PENANAF4bbimGxSi
372Please respect copyright.PENANAxNWedWMAp3
百感交集……372Please respect copyright.PENANAFT1MztzJ8E
372Please respect copyright.PENANA3UygEQatwv
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻,事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人,情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候,還以為痛楚會一直維持下去,有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。372Please respect copyright.PENANAC04PIdjdqX
372Please respect copyright.PENANAtI15yzd982
不過電影終究與現實不同:角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡,情感故此顯得激烈而深刻;現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素,例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。372Please respect copyright.PENANACERbfqQTuc
372Please respect copyright.PENANA7K3UF1t0A0
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力,直至今日再聚……372Please respect copyright.PENANAiZWMZua2Fs
372Please respect copyright.PENANAVWzKKFjBqJ
「認得我嗎?我是許家偉。」372Please respect copyright.PENANASFuMq4C4i1
372Please respect copyright.PENANAK0LSp50QZE
「認得。你是文班的。」372Please respect copyright.PENANAjRglngkMj2
372Please respect copyright.PENANA8nhBgHFBXX
許家偉淺笑,笑容如昔,淡然清雅溫婉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAI9nmEYx2W3
372Please respect copyright.PENANA0W6nryMELW
閒聊之間,發現他仍然單身。究其原因,他只道難為情。372Please respect copyright.PENANAP4qNle2kIa
372Please respect copyright.PENANAe3yc2ap2t4
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。372Please respect copyright.PENANA9JU45WF0aV
372Please respect copyright.PENANAzj7AZpp4vz
四十年過去,許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。372Please respect copyright.PENANAvCslgPpsSN
372Please respect copyright.PENANApMbRAbezDj
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。372Please respect copyright.PENANAVzuXRQDXda
372Please respect copyright.PENANAQtxf2ECPNj
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。372Please respect copyright.PENANAX2qDgbGkPs
372Please respect copyright.PENANA1vohF11iEE
許家偉在認真?他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑?372Please respect copyright.PENANAgaqP3mAZl8
372Please respect copyright.PENANAHLflMy1lIb
我哭笑不得。372Please respect copyright.PENANAhxOIOPgGYK
372Please respect copyright.PENANAflHrEgxcKH
無意跟他繼續對話。372Please respect copyright.PENANADvcMB2Fx8Q
372Please respect copyright.PENANASvHscAcUfX
多寒暄幾句,我和許家偉相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。372Please respect copyright.PENANAlTvAYfzGqM
372Please respect copyright.PENANAX8o8JQU5Pr
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。