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「這一句話，我會記上一輩子。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpHbTfJKuE
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6ErWBr13y
二十年前，我拋下這麼一句話，頭也不回，離開那個家。
某位於港島區的咖啡店內。淺啡木紋地磚和同調木紋膠板桌椅，配襯白色牆身和米黃色燈膽，輔以多個小盆栽和青色咕𠱸作點綴，簡潔得來帶有滿滿的溫馨。完全符合阿妹理想中「家」的形象。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PC3Os1lXZ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRowj7VnM5
我們齊齊長大於日本文化盛行的年代，對日系風格情有獨鍾實屬在所難免。惟鍾愛歸鍾愛，我不禁在心裡吐糟眼前的芝士蛋糕：虛假的芝士味道和香氣，甜得發膩的化學甜，有如焦土的乾癟質地。怎麼可以如此難吃？496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd897t1na3Y
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0gjk8lhYu
「不喜歡？」阿妹冷道，沒望我一眼，逕自品嚐她的芝士蛋糕和朱古力咖啡。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2hi6J7xIj
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2xKnrQZQ6
「嗯。」我放下叉子，放棄價值五十元的蛋糕，暗嘆浪費。我寧可花同樣價錢，去茶餐廳吃鹹魚雞粒炒飯。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDfxu3CLvI
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39fl7MyKag
「這是區內最有名氣的芝士蛋糕。」阿妹對我的口味不以為然。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpS4Ftn7xFv
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAWnzIo4zm
「以『難吃』見稱嗎？」我冷嘲，惹得鄰桌的情侣竊笑。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ5i936Ha9
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL9WA10pvH
阿妹面色玄青，無視我，低頭享用她的下午茶。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYzQR4MLIp
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVG8lB4GE8
我沒趣地拿出手提電話消磨時間，目光時而在通訊軟件上遊走，時而偷瞄對座的阿妹。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡay3H76XGP5
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrI9yiX6mQ
我倆之間，是一張深度六百毫米的枱，也是二十年的空白。見面之前，我記憶中的阿妹是個廿三歲大學畢業生，純真無邪，略懂打扮；碰面當刻，舊印象驟然消失，獨一無二的阿妹變成充斥中環的普通辦公室女郎。微卷深啡長髮，濃妝豔抹，粉綠色及膝連身裙，純白色短袖小外套，三吋高跟鞋。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1MwVcA9Az
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P2ZfJNmZC
曾幾何時，我深信自己會跟阿妹一樣，成為打扮斯文的辦公室女郎。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOY1nMZdJd
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtaLM9S1je
我的思緒飄到遙遠的平行世界去，直至阿妹放下叉子：「走吧。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXophK2jJZn
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCA0fEYhUQ
截下的士，我們直驅醫院去。車廂中，又是令人窒息的沉默。我從倒後鏡瞥望阿妹。她托著下巴，似是對著窗外景物發呆，亦似是從玻璃車廂的模糊倒影觀察我。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhvplMmxJK
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJIxMfQ10w
「待會兒，態度必須要溫和。」阿妹的口吻帶有「命令」的味道。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LYWMj9nRB
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM0W4T56fQ
「盡量。」我是個直腸直肚的人。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSFBZMmaIy
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDR2BpdquBh
「難道你沒能大發慈悲，讓媽咪『離開』得安詳？」她略略加強語氣。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDFqQ8zvs3
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nj1hSt7wY
「所以我沒有拒絕，而是答『盡量』！」我強抑怒火：「你不是不知道她的嘴巴就是不饒人！難道我要盲目啞忍所有過份要求？」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcvlHjhUeL
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lWvmbWU0E
「那天以後，她性格大變，嘴巴再也硬不起來。」阿妹神色放軟。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuZYooBLIg
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctUsKuaCxT
我沒駁斥，任由沉默張牙舞爪。
進入私人病房前，阿妹從手袋拿出一個小紙袋，塞到我手裡：「給媽咪的小禮物，佯稱是你買的。」沒待我答允，她已推門內進，不讓我有拒絕的機會。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHY5Db3UJnF
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqvA95SvQT
病床上的媽咪，戴著頸箍，缺了左腿，全身插滿連接儀器的喉管。床頭櫃有熱水壼和膠杯，櫃側有一灰色的膠椅，椅上有她最鍾愛的墨綠色的毛衣。出乎意料，毛衣多年以來仍忠實地守候在她身邊，活像她幻想出來的完美女兒。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNGi53bDCq
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WHoAe2YSG
「送你的。」根據阿妹的指示，我奉上紙袋。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6LlxJLU2Y
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSjfGJE5cV
媽咪的頭動不了，眼皮使力地開開合合，眼珠子艱難地轉動著，幾經辛苦才成功對焦，看見我。眼淚暴瀉，雙唇微顫，千言萬語卻離不開齒間。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmubwU4F0g
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgaBX7lA1c
「喚媽咪吧。」阿妹怒目相向，恨我的狠。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr6GMqOR7i
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gSOfpfGS2
縱先前對媽咪的病情略知一二，惟在此情此境，我竟反應不來，原地愣住。喜怒憂懼愛憎欲，好比混在一起的彩砂，沒能再分開。粒粒彩砂本來顏色鮮明，在此刻偏偏成了惹人眼花撩亂的雜訊，佔據每吋視線，令我看不清楚自己的心意。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aXWEKO1Ic
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwPSciQ934
「媽……咪……」我耗盡力氣，千辛萬苦才擠出兩粒字。不情不願，因為找不到自己的位置；心甘情願，因為這是最後的聚頭，該盡力讓事情有個不差勁的結局，算是清還她的養育之恩。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH52vpzjl0H
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLZHwOOPL2
阿妹招招手，要我湊近媽咪，讓她看清楚多年不見的女兒。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZoCl0pLUI
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xg8s1mRzS
一絲抗拒掠過。我沒打算捕捉它，隨它消逝。我的手腳開始沒那麼生硬，乖乖依從阿妹的指令，走近床邊。阿妹要我給媽咪奉水，我照辦如儀。阿妹要我為媽咪披上毛衣，好，沒問題……不知底蘊的人看見「母慈女孝」的畫面，定會誤會我仨關係良好，感情深厚。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsdBKln5AH
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SxntCU6Ss
整個探訪過程，媽咪沒能吐出片言隻字：她的喉嚨受惡菌感染，非但沒能進食固體食物，甚至失去語言能力。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvf0XVGUeyA
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OntNJ3elF
不得不承認，我賤格。表面和藹謙恭，底裡毒如蛇蠍。我幻想，如果二十年前的媽咪已失去語言能力，我會否仍生活在這個家，是個千依百順的好女兒？496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm0fEBhv62
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0mrmHYVpb
兩小時後，媽咪倦極入睡。阿妹要我先離開病房，在門外等候她。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkv9G7smlsi
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ifAOqCkUQ
甫踏出房門，我與阿姨碰個正著。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxriAtezrVP
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7LUE7KGn3
死八婆！若非她當年在旁煽風點火，我和家人的關係未必會破裂收場。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cjKBM1l8X
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbYctZ9aDF
「我就是知道你會來。」阿姨擺出料事如神的姿態，以冷峻目光掃視我全身：「很缺錢吧？」講完莫名其妙的一句後，她掏出一張支票予我。「你的報酬。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfV55iRn7c
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIxhTXzZsk
我沒有立即接下，思疑她在打甚麼鬼主意。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrVcnO1akB
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB2ngsgbf4
湊巧，阿妹從病房出來，看見我和阿姨在門口僵持，立即上前解釋事情因由：「我沒有告訴她關於支票的事。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Rh8jG4ymd
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1gEuGp5aA
「你的意思……她不是為錢而來？」阿姨拿著支票的手緩緩垂下。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ATG7fskTU
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNImSX2hmy8
「嗯。」受壓於阿姨的強勢，適才不慍不火的阿妹怯怯點頭。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QHSmTRDUv
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU3VNlOGjY
「那麼……」阿姨猶豫了半晌，最終還是決定將猜忌放進問題裡。「你為何而來？」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefvEGrhhOV
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBQCtQ1YC8
「出於對老人家的憐憫和惻隱。」我胡謅，強裝正氣凜然。其實我未曾細想自己為何而來。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUxXubEnU0
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnKOVNJjYe
「很好。可以省掉。」阿姨有意無意地將支票在我面前晃來晃去。逗狗似的。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Pzl63uMh5
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqLxxPWd07
「如果沒有別的要事，我先離開。」我選擇了忍耐。
醫院外的大路上，人不多，三三兩兩的。探病的、求醫的、久病初癒的、迴光反照的。我屬於哪種？該是「半死不活的」：情況沒有差得要死，卻怎也活得不好。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MiP85fuPx
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80pdxJhS1E
缺錢？工作不順利？與丈夫婚姻不和諧？與子女有代溝？統統不是。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25byStTQ5p
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQyzi0flPe
僅是純粹的不快樂，若有所失。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHtVu7DSth
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYuRnkzlWd
每當我感到幸福時，記憶就會成為粘粘的漿糊，將我黏在內心的缺口上。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4AuEANtDQ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPNKtpNlt9
「等……我……」阿妹的聲音從後傳來。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNftYXJPOB2
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLpTlIQ8VT
我佯裝聽不見，加快腳步，務求撇下腳踏三吋高跟鞋的她。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡib7MYDgM6z
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECkKyZ7b3q
「家姐！」豈料阿妹不顧儀態，高呼大叫，吸引途人們的目光。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4HaDO7LpC
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxci009bAe
我的雙腳不自已停下來。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgsrk1nqgw
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP7X9pDuz0
不消十秒，氣喘如牛的阿妹跑到我身邊來：「謀……殺……嗎？」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTQeXMWzrx
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mj5PP8Y0N
我鐵著臉，沒意欲跟她開玩笑。「那張支票，是誰的主意？」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DORxD0Oce
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcoFQnsNfb
「媽咪。」阿妹不敢正視我雙眼：「她覺得你會拒絕到來。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZNmRW08cL
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSBllgevMN
「你們仍舊認為我是嫌棄家境窮困而離開嗎？」我本不欲重提舊話，奈何我忍不住要再次辯解。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWwMSwmom4
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtwzMWk8NL
「我們想不到其他原因。」阿妹的答案隱含委屈。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLVRE7pYVJ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOXcxWeTut
「我從不認為我們家境窮困。」我氣得開步走。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡronCtUf56f
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRGV3WVZyi
阿妹連忙拉住我的衣袖，轉換話題：「有興趣跟我和阿姨吃晚餐嗎？我們會與你討論遺產事宜。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo9foiBBue
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0PjA2pTty
「沒有。」我乾脆利落地拒絕。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJ4RWhvRoZ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykwsGQFhvW
「僅僅一頓便飯而已。」阿妹屢敗屢試。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKO1YlfL7x
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmjdANoRHj
「不了。」我稍稍施力甩開她的手。「你倆把錢分掉吧。無需通知我。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvjAVSemAQ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJnVPe0bGI
「我會轉告阿姨。」世故的阿妹知道我在顧忌誰。「但你可以和我一起晚餐嗎？只是我跟你！」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQlULJLxJk
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4fQAnEsjw
我意識到這是她最後一次的邀約，再也講不出拒絕的說話，迷迷糊糊地與她並肩而行，行到醫院附近的咖啡店。她為我點了抹茶蛋糕和朱古力砂冰，聽聞是鎮店之寶。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcf3rgFsDE
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OVZTfSCYx
我嚐了一口。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dG5wxn3PH
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4wzdrTdlL
甜得要命。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXhpGiJ1zg
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtzvkykRl3
「你是否不再喜歡吃甜品？」阿妹從我的難受表情找到端倪。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSEMN1jegZ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD8CFji1e2
我傻傻點頭，驀然記起自己曾經是個無甜不歡的傢伙，對咖啡店的精緻甜品更是愛不釋手。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIIohvyGvX
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOtBXyvv7X
「我對你的印象停留在二十年前。」阿妹眼裡盡是懷緬。「溫柔的、膽小的、笨笨的家姐。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFRsXX2mSX
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhrAoANRgR
「我自問從不是溫柔的傢伙，純粹是害怕開罪別人而假裝溫柔；我不是膽小的，至少我比你更有離家出走的勇氣；我不是笨笨的，起碼我有能力比你更先離開。」我努力提起叉子，再嚐一口蛋糕。很難吃。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtiGFSNtqS
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nqOCvy3lP
「難怪你要走。」阿妹噗嗤假笑，表情苦澀得複雜。「我們自以為了解你、明白你，不明白何以你最後竟捨棄我們……」她那握叉的手重覆戳向蛋糕，直至它成漿成糊。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfWsP9rFJD
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStVsvUFjfb
「其實我也不了解你們。至少，我沒有想過你們會利誘我來探望媽咪。」我苦笑搖頭：「我理解他們何以會不明所以。」由始至終，我在意的人只有阿妹。「你呢？你比他們更了解我的處境！別以為我不知道你當時同樣想走！」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFEZxrleEx
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zUruZ2Wb5
「你終於承認當時是知道我的想法！」被我戳到痛處，阿妹失儀地將叉子擲在碟上。金屬叉子碰瓷碟，有如我的話碰她的心，發出響亮而清脆的碰擊聲。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydmXIMuIen
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk4gpH8ft4
「為何你不帶我走？我日盼夜盼，盼望你會聯絡我，帶我走。在意識到你不會帶我走時，我又開始催眠自己，說你遇到意外，說你被壞朋友騙了，說你尚未安頓下來……我不知道該要怎麼辦！496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UU96azJSI
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5DiRInvST
我有很多很多問號！496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqXb3AkQcw
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSSPLzDiNE
我不明白你的想法！我不清楚自己在你心目中的位置！我不明白為何我要為你編作解釋！我不明白為何我信任的人會拋棄我！我不肯定自己能否負擔起整個家！明明是我倆的共同責任，為何我要獨自承受？」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3n0lLAsmUg
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDKwDGj6S3
「因為你是壓垮我的最後一根稻草。」思緒千迴百轉，最終我決定長話短說，淡然將描述她揮金如土的萬字怨言吞回肚子去。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNemUR4to2
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVgJaZPr5b
霎時間，阿妹答不上話，直視我雙眸，似是觀察我的表情，希望能夠從中找出一絲歉疚，亦似是在乞求我大開金口，施捨半句道歉話。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lYipG7y6g
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEJzJebNvE
可惜，我沒打算繼續在她的生命裡留下甚麼。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI9Be27q7r
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqBLjhS7WY
「算了吧。」為打圓場，阿妹選擇口不對心：「反正我們以後不會見面，不需要執著彼此。」若果她真的能夠放下執著，適才就沒能細數她的痛苦點滴。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnWIwsdasx
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrqamzMfHX
「是的。」我釋懷一笑，放下叉，不再勉強自己清掉碟上的蛋糕。
用餐過後，我和阿妹公式化地道別，從此分道揚鑣。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTHVjIci5L
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePlRptH6Xw
我看看手錶，晚上十時許。路人不多，疏疏落落的。黃光路燈斜照著路人們，照出多個長腿叔叔。故事中的長腿叔叔是個擁有美滿人生的紳士，現實中的我們卻是破碎殘缺的獨立個體。東一塊，西一塊，難以湊成一個家。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJWurdyYgf
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlKXZ1MDos
需要感到遺憾嗎？無需要。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWGuxWZXK8
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxeIG5QLwo
曾有感到遺憾嗎？曾有。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeVStIbj2a
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTP1kkmwsw
會繼續感到遺憾嗎？不會。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63AAqNuP0R
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf68jn3Rk2K
我慢步走向鐵路站。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmuN1KRkho
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhBUNmB8DY
慢慢的，慢慢的，有如二十年歲月一樣慢。漫長的二十年裡，我一步一步走過來，無數次踏在內心的缺口上。自以為腳掌會感受到缺口的虛空與不平，自以為低頭就會看見缺口的廣闊與無邊，自以為缺口會永遠存在。殊不知缺口已在不知不覺間被時間撫平。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTBFyCShIR
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2LVKBxEeZ
剛才我不是故意將不快記憶輕描淡寫，而是無論我怎麼努力去回想，所有細節都經已模糊不堪。最清晰的，只有我當年留下的那句話。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh86cWYch0h
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbI5v7MQZ5
「這一句話，我會記上一輩子。」496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5otnGOO9Lg
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzJrxbqWVX
簡單的十一個字，濃縮了多年的壓抑和不滿，是負面情緒的頂點。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOi6FfPx74
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoOBtSbE9E
說話離開了唇角，繃緊的情緒失去支撐物，慢慢紓緩下來。由最無關痛癢的，至最為要緊的，一點一滴隨年月悄悄消逝。我忘記了誰講出讓我記上一輩子的說話，忘記了對話的內容，忘記了對話的前因……取而代之的，是能夠被握在手心的現在和能夠被觀望的將來。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRFD7jfWZq
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Y2Z1JRtwT
我倏忽停下腳步，換個方向，走到便利店，買了罐冰凍啤酒。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTzXenprh2
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32meVJMdfJ
為何仍清楚記得那份恨意？496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgKp1iFJD6
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvZNCXkwJ3
我知道答案。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iyLh8ewJY
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEmGvZBI4m
答案像啤酒。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON7ygQV6DC
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0xMdNjjdu
啤酒不是必需品，但我習慣在心情欠佳時喝啤酒。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc4ijQHqVG
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDFrE05TOa
那份恨意不是必須存在，但我習慣了它的存在，習慣用它去概括描述我離家出走前的人生。久而久之，那份恨意就成了那段日子的代名詞。那段日子只有恨意，沒有願望，沒有七情，沒有喜好，遑論快樂。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAMmd5JRqZ
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQO5SolM9K
我將啤酒一飲而盡。空空如也的啤酒罐精準地落入垃圾桶裡。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zGIwkYsdv
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKGKH8EeZn
若果我可以同樣將記恨習慣拋入垃圾桶，該多好！496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhFnRjzwHw
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZaexIS9TQ
不要緊。給我二十一天，戒掉壞習慣。496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrIvA6niAq
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLSdO8CeF7
我保證，往後滴酒不沾，吋恨不記。
