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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqRsv6EnRw
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGijObfz7fx
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt88sDKbjO
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVHqR1MuxQ
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJ39RXq3Pc
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdceO5yjUp
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27hpjsRbLX
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmTkJl7Ldg
壓力似乎一併消散。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgqSKrOOmP
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcM1TsDOjCN
茶盡。我再續杯。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEreaoG3zJJ
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2mcQCAmP6
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRR0c2ryS5
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69R8h1zrYl
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRe8oyjnZt
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBvutCSAyX
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahsIy1hVmz
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrdpLehyip
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa38KOQ2xvU
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3TGVPcLcG
夢醒一場空。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfBtBfYoml
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibaVDdqZC6
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB1KF3RwvR
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4Vah53VRH
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrIH76bJDF
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPFFSqF19a
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjFYVpaq3s
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3wL16SYyg
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7FWSR6Ga7
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd7BFh2Mgp
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8QSywfyFI
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hCLrqztq5
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd57ipUVUQj
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEKqBwwTjU
我沾沾自喜。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3CitET6S2
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCb5ulFwJY1
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gqhaAqJz9
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BLhPtLFDd
但我沒有向同學們坦白。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3If76jAIcJ
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rgw12NKxX
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47QkOlTGWL
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFss4CSL3n2
努力，努力，努力。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09CXDFK1I5
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAvxFr4SFM
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceVR263xTr
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiszXpM8F6X
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGbO3eciWV
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkGXMi3Nw5
以為。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEgEyy72Az
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOkBYZqOed
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bjILWGjEh
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4r1f0MPoIP
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKvrNI8u44
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQMeYApafq
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyChwQAHf7
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0zp5OQRvw
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu1U6tYMzN
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT2oE08PPt
我的作品感動了我。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0C9wq8bBA
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFCWMyvzcR
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDefPsUIeg
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaJcMBuZIu
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStzuFxQKaJ
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PwhDy6lM2
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dAeIbzaom
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiF9tcx2Ep
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliBKFFxk6J
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq1qsCtQA1
熱茶又涼了。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj2wfuAOqU
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRqMfcFnOo
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GsLS3vZTr
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxw7ybKcQhL
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJmOWBMylC
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Pgeik840z
我的作品只感動了我。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAAozBJT6D
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ545CzifCrv
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypt9uCOu5H
