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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCsPflpcpk
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTru0UJkkm
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcAHl8eYy3
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LoQkmpOGx
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZglgfarfmz
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RwlhUL0Kp
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwRBtwHdy6
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgItP0D1Z8i
壓力似乎一併消散。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX7VijAV3M
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfo9I822AnC
茶盡。我再續杯。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjN2IDlMZU
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo99q5ORoEc
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImjnZdzEVT
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6O2lzGRQp
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr89m1SVxN1
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KSKmOtQlp
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYho3m6x9e
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y2ucPv5tV
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJViVLOKVE
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXOANhermy
夢醒一場空。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwV4QOLRu1g
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFnoHBw9mN
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypfGRrCC3N
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFMDfXGnWx
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJii706XLBS
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6e1ET3PkEG
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWEK8W5t2H
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOC3zuQAuS
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IlcUJoNqW
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb08mvRlvnE
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2yznLs5Ny
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZJWo7tzAd
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmqpO0KwlZ
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXEe6o5LDE
我沾沾自喜。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG9FmX6zFL
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeq5cz5U8I
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKWG7WYaod
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn3bWr6SXo
但我沒有向同學們坦白。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE85kjtSZ3K
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZHfDhWInf
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlJOslUd69
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfkEbuDMvw
努力，努力，努力。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpbRbCuINu
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHPWvumNCy
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeH1Tu8PRX
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0aIFB335p
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJZid3BBRA
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5kPdQmGXj
以為。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSkTw4JAjt
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2nrqe1ABx
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrBr9abjcQ
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTzIbeoMpI
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzI3yo5W4n
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp4Y1TLfmE
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCp9Sw6jo4
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIGvdUYzhe
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qspI1ZfG6
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwkP7mjOqN
我的作品感動了我。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TQpMdYaYa
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAR4BuWTNW
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHsSFAP9t1
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ68AoEcYOi
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CBDLOTT9M
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rRd6J0xg4
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbEtoQv0Ud
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRL3wc33xL
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNhvoYlHPx
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZfCnYCrEy
熱茶又涼了。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJM8hqgjy5
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxm2p74xyuo
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObyNE2h3T0
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMTYHfaAJ7
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3lKXBpkiK
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag0FhdqlYz
我的作品只感動了我。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQasjV4SWF
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZqBTTApTK
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzO63OgoXV
