Laying on the grass in the backyard of my house, I take in the sun's rays. They beam down on my skin, the warmth feels very inviting. It has been a while since I have stopped to feel the sun or smell the flowers, or dance in the rain. Since I have actually stopped and enjoyed the day and all it has to offer for me.
"Nubia," I hear my father call.
I open my eyes and see him standing in the sun light, blocking the sun. "Yes?"
"Your mother and I are going out of town for the weekend. We want you girls to behave while we are gone." He informs.
"Alright."
"No parties and no boys in the house. Clear?"
"Crystal."
"Great. I've told your sisters the same thing." He is about to leave but double backs to me. "Try not to tear them apart, okay?"
"I won't." Hell, I am not even sure I will be home all weekend.
"Great. See ya," He leaves.
I sit up and go into the house.
"The parents are gone," Zadia cheers jumping up and down. "Finally," she plops down on the sofa and puts her feet on the coffee table with her shoes still on.
"Where's Zakia?"
Zadia shrugs her shoulders, "hell, if I know. Probably in her room drawing. She has been selected to show her art in a gallery for her school for a fundraiser."
"Oh?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Yeah. I think its boss that she has that talent. Dad said she gets it from our grandma, his mom." She sighs. "She used to illustrate a lot of children's books and comics."
I start thinking about the invention that Jafaris and I spoke about. And since our parents are gone for the weekend, I can do it. I just need to get them in the same place and figure out what I would say to my sisters.
"I'm going to my room, I am a little tired." I tell Zadia.
"Okay," Zadia picks the remote up and turns the television on. "More big screen T.V. for me."
I go to my room, close the door, and sit on my bed.
I've got to think of what to say to my sisters during the intervention I am planning.
I look at the picture of my sisters and me from a year ago, before my ways got too bad.
What has changed since then? Aside from me going bat shit crazy and being, sentence to rehab. Did they figure something out? Or are they just being bitches?
I need to find the underlying cause of this and since our parents are gone for the weekend. Zakia won't go running to them. She'd have no choice but to sit there and face the truth.
I lay down and grab the remote for my T.V., which is located under my pillow for safekeeping. My sisters lose their remotes all the time and I know they have been in my room to look for mine. I turn the T.V. on and change the channel to Cartoon Network. My mind begins to spin a web of questions to ask my sisters during the intervention. I try to shoo the questions away, but the persistent bastards won't leave me be.
I take out some index cards and a pen from my nightstand drawer. I begin scribbling down the questions that are bothering me the most on to the index cards. Some of the questions are petty; I put those to the side. But the rest of them are okay to ask.
"I don't want to go off the index cards. It's not a freaking presentation." I tell myself as I look at the index cards. I put the cards and pen on the nightstand just in case more questions decide to irritate me.
Watching television downstairs, I ponder what I am going to say to my sisters. I look at the index cards with the questions on them from last night. I was up all night writing questions down and trying to answer them myself. I wanted to sleep, but my nerves were so bad. I ended up staying up until three in the morning watching stupid, paid yet convincing commercials and reality television shows.
I look at the clock on the wall which reads 12:34 p.m. How are they still in bed?
I go back to watch Tom and Jerry, the real deal not that new school shit they have been airing.
About an hour later, both Zadia and Zakia come downstairs and go into the kitchen for something to eat.
My time, I huff with all my nerves and go sit at the breakfast nook.
"Sisters, we need to have a talk." I say to them.
They stop what they are doing and turn to me.
"What's on your mind, Nubia?" Zakia asks putting toast in the toaster.
I sigh, not knowing how they are going to take this. "I'm...I love you two so much. But, I need to know a few things. Things that have been bothering me for a while."
The look on Zadia's face is one of fear. Zakia's face does fall a little as if she knows what's coming next. I suspect they know what this is.
I left the cards on the sofa and decided to go with what's on my mind and in my heart.
"Zakia, why did you lie to me about the Seth situation?" I squint my eyes to my young sister.
Zakia's face drops completely and her eyes scan the counter. Her lips part, "I don't' know. I think it was because I was mad that he rejected me the first time. I wanted to get even with him."
"By having me shoot him?" I yell.
Fear blankets Zakia's face and her eyes widen, "I didn't think you would go that far. Honestly! I just was...I don't know what I was doing." She begins to tremble.
"That wasn't right, Zakia. Lying to get someone hurt."
Zakia covers her face. "I know. But, I really didn't think you would do that. I didn't. And I just wanted to go to a school that would support my art and have art programs."
"Why didn't you just ask mom and dad to transfer schools?"
"They wouldn't let me transfer without a good reason." Zakia explains, as Zadia stays silent.
"So, you told them the same story you told me?"
Zakia drops her head, "No, I just told them I didn't want to go back for personal reasons. They let me pick the school and that was the end of that."
I shake my head, "If those cops had found out I did that, Zakia. My ass would have been under that fucking jail!" I shout. My voice echoes through the house.
Zakia begins to cry and tremble more, "Oh my god, I am so sorry, Nubia. I am." She covers her face.
"Harsh, Nubia." Zadia finally speaks up with a shake of her head.
"Zadia, you aren't much better with you secret about Jafaris." I turn to her.
Zadia's face drops. The toast pops up causing Zadia and Zakia to jump. I re-frame from jumping, but my heart does beat harder.
"What are you talking about?" Zadia begins to get defensive.
"Your secret thing about Jafaris. He told me how you acted when he left you. I don't understand why you didn't just tell me what you two had?"
"Psh. Your boyfriend is lying. Plus, would you have left him if I told you what happened?"
"Is he lying? And I wouldn't have left him because he hasn't done me wrong."
"Not yet, Nubia. You don't know him like I do."
"I may not. But, I know that he wouldn't lie to me about that. I asked you plenty of times to tell me what was going on, but you wouldn't."
Zadia fiddles with her fingers.
"Look," my voice softens as I look at my sisters. "I don't know why you two have changed sine I have been gone. I know change is a part of life, but I don't like this type of change. I know what I did and I paid for it. But, you two don't have to treat me bad for it or keep secrets or lie. I am not feeble. I am still adjusting to life here and I was hoping you two would help me get back to what was "normal" around here. I mean...we use to be inseparable. What the hell happened?"
"We went through a lot of shit while you were gone, Nubia." Zakia speaks up. "We didn't know how to handle it."
"You could have called me. I would have helped or asked mom and dad to visit me. I was still your sister, I still am your sister. I would have been there if you two needed me. I still wanted to feel as though I was a part of the family, if not, then a sister. I needed you two."
Zadia is now crying, "We're sorry, Nubia. We truly are."
They come around the corner and hug me. I hug them back, letting my own tears fall down my face as we all bawl our eyes out.
I can only hope our sisterly relationship will improve with time.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
