“Nubia, nice to see you,” my counselor, Mrs. Salya greets me with a hug.
“Yeah, it’s nice to see you as well.” I sit on the sofa once we are done hugging each other.
“You look great. How are things?”
“Not so good, to be honest.”
The smile disappears from her face, “why ever not?”
“My sisters. My life. I feel as though they’ve deceived me in a way, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust them again.”
“Oh my. What have they done?”
I go into the whole spill about Zakia’s false rape call to Zadia having so many abortions. I’m in tears talking about it.
“Sounds rough.”
“That’s what Tilly said. I can’t trust them.”
Mrs. Salya sighs, “Nubia, I want you to listen to me, okay?”
I nod knowing she’s about to speak some deep shit.
“Your sisters do have their own lives and they had to make it without you being there.”
“But, we used to be so close.”
“I know this. The truth is people change and things happen which makes people change. While you were gone they changed and so have you. Your sisters had to do things to accommodate their lives. So, did you. I can see where they’ve deceived you and I can see how the situations have affected you and your emotional well-being. I’m not saying forgive them, I’m saying give it more time. It’s only been,” she looks at the calendar, “four months.” She looks back at me.
“I’m not sure I can. I’ve tired so hard and nothing is going right.”
“It’s not going to go right for a while. You are getting into the swing of things still. It’s going to be hard. I told you this. You’ve got to be patient with this and them.”
“I can continue to try.”
“As for you father, I don’t know. I’m sure he has his own reasons as to why he didn’t want you to have your sister’s number.”
“Right.”
“Now, Zadia saying what she said. Obviously, she can’t even help herself after all she went through.”
I nod. That would have been a great come back if I had’ve thought about it. It would have stung her.
“Even if you stay with Tilly and her parents, try to make it a point to talk to your sisters. Trust me on this, they still need you. Maybe more than you realize right now because you’re hurt.”
“I really am.”
“Give it more time, Nubia. And if things don’t improve, then drop them or just gradually stop talking to them. That’s not something I would normally recommend, but you need your sanity to stay in tact.”
“Okay, I will do so. Thank you, Mrs. Salya.” I stand up.
“I’m still here for you if you need me, Nubia.” She scribbles her number down on a sheet of paper and hands it to me. I take it and look at it.
“Thank you.” I fold it up and pick it in my back pocket and leave.
I get in the car with Tilly.
“How’d it go?” She asks starting up the car.
“It went better than what I thought it would have been.”
“What’s our next stop?”
“Jafaris’.”
We park on the curb in front of my boyfriend’s place. I get out of the car.
“Do you need me to stay and wait for you?”
“No, I’ll be okay,” I see Jafaris exit the house and sit on the swinging chair on the porch.
“Text me when you’re done then.”
“I will.”
“Good luck,” she drives.
I walk up to him and sit beside him. The evening breezes gently blows.
“I need to talk to you,” I break the silence between us.
“Yes.”
“The thing between you and Zadia.”
“I told you about that.”
“Yeah, you didn’t tell me about the baby.”
He jumps up and runs his fingers through his hair. He looks at me as tears form in his eyes.
“I try to forget about that. I really do. It pains me till this very day.”
“Just tell me what happened.” My intial plans was to come up in here and act a fool. But, why? And what would that solve?
He sighs, “I don’t know. Not much. She told me about how she was pregnant and it was mine. But…’was’. She aborted the baby before I couldn’t even get a say about it. She assumed I didn’t want it or I’d leave her high and dry to raise the baby alone. I wouldn’t have done such bullshit. But, it was too fucking late.” His brows furrow, “she killed my fucking child! My baby!”
I jump at his sudden burst of rage.
“I would have love to have been a father, Nubia. That’s what I want. My own family. Always wanted that. And she took that from me. Snatched,” he snaps his fingers, “just like that.” He wipes his eyes.
“Damn, Jafaris.” I didn’t think it was anything like that.
“Yeah,” he nods and paces. “It really fucked me up. It was one of the many reasons why I was in rehab.”
He sits next to me, takes my hand, and laces our fingers together. “I know I should’ve told you. I’ve just been trying to forget about the whole thing. It makes me so angry when I think about it sometimes sad as well. I hope you don’t think less of me for keeping that a secret from you.”
“I do feel a little like you don’t trust me.”
“Please don’t feel that way, baby.” He turns to me. I know it was a big deal but you’re the only one who knows. None of my siblings or parents know. Just you, me, and your sisters. I’d like to keep it that way as well.”
I nod, “secret safe with me.”
He rubs his forehead, “I thought you were gonna leave me for a moment.”
“I thought about it, trust me.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. If your reason for not telling me something like that wasn’t good enough to me, I was going to leave you.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” I look at him.
“Not leaving me.”
I smile, “you’re welcome.”
We enjoy the breeze and talk about other things before I tell Tilly to pick me up.
“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” I stare at Sirrah’s number on the dial screen of my phone.
“Then it’ll be okay. At least you tried.” Tilly answers as she stares at the screen with me.
It’s been a little over a week now since I’ve stolen Sirrah’s number from my dad’s phone. I still haven’t spoken to my parents about where I am nor have I spoken to my sisters. I’ve just been in my own little bubble, since final exams and graduation is around the corner, I need to be focused on that and not the drama of my family.
“Alright.”
I dial her number and the phone rings. My heart is racing in hopes she does pick up but in other hopes she doesn’t.
“Hello?”
“Sirrah?”
“This is she.”
“Hi, I’m Nubia. Your sister.”
“Hey,” she squeals.
I smile, “hi, I hope this isn’t a bad time for you.”
“No, of course not.”
Tilly leaves the room.
Sirrah and I begin talking about everything under the sun. School, book, life, television shows, we just clicked. We hang up after three hours of talking and promising each other to keep in touch. She said she had to get ready for a court thing in the morning.719Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTlVy8fHB0
