The past six months have been rather turbulent and uncertain for me. There've been a lot of ups and downs, and some in betweens. But I'm still here. So is everyone else. So I suppose I can be thankful for that.1116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxQTUYwHDb
As much as I don't care to admit it, I failed my classes my first semester in college and consequently dropped out to attend a technical college instead. As a person where failure was never an option that was especially hard for me to get through. Needless to say, my parents weren't happy at all. To this day I don't feel as though I've earned the respect of my father back. Or maybe it's just me. Who knows.
My mom's been supportive, but I can still catch those disapproving or disappointed looks that she tries to hide. I know I was supposed to do so much better. I know my expectations were much higher. I know that I'm supposed to be capable of much more. But you know what? Honestly, I'm glad it happened.
Even if I feel I'll never be fully 'healed,' in a sense, with my family, I'm glad the experience played out as it did. I feel as though I can finally see what it is I want in life and where I want to go without the pressure of my parents. I've always been confused as to what my wishes were and which were the expectations of my parents. I used to think they were the same thing. Well, here's a word of advice. Branch out and explore to find what it is you really want. Because you might not even know that it's what you want until you find it.1116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKoCYHO8DV
My family is structured in a way where reputation, money, and success are basically required. We are by no means poor, I recognize that, because my dad decided early on in life that he wanted a job that paid very well. So we've had no problems getting everything we needed and some of what we wanted in life. And I thought that was the kind of life I wanted to have once I branched out on my own with my own family. But after dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and seeing the effects that a lack of wealth produces, I don't care how much money we make anymore. Because I've never had to uphold this perfect reputation around his family.
My perception of the world has changed a little. The poor understand what is important and what shouldn't matter when trouble arises. Family is important. Having fun is important, even in the worst of situations. My middle-class family only cares that I succeed. And that's no way to live.
But enough about the specifics. I've always been a pessimist, really. I've always expected the worst outcome anyways. But I know now that things get better. There will always be another day after today. The sun will still rise, the moon with set. You're still breathing and that's the most important thing. That you're still here too. We want you here, on earth, with us for as long as our mortality permits it. So please, always remember, that life gets better one way or another.
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