College.
It's a very scary word when you think about it. It contains everything that your life has been and will become, painted shining colors, adored and flaunted with the highest esteem, but deep down it hides a much darker interior.
Maybe one bad day could ruin your whole academic career, or one late class costs you that A instead of a B. Dropping out puts you with the 'failures,' the 'ones who give up.' You're suddenly looked down upon because maybe college wasn't for you. Maybe the pace wasn't compatible with your lifestyle or values. And it's all so esteemed, so worshiped nowadays that backing out is almost sacrilege. Not going to college? Guess your only hope is McDonald's...At least, that's the mantra behind it.
As I prepare for going to college in the fall, I'm left to wonder if it's all even worth it. How does spending all this money help me in the long run? Is the job I'm hoping to work towards even going to be there when I'm done? Will I be able to even accomplish graduating?
Doubt quickly sets in and parents really don't make it any easier. They force me to prepare at their pace, dashing my hopes of distracting myself as much as I can before lectures and studying become my life. Somehow, even my attempts to make me happy end up spiraling down to the same sad thoughts.
College.
Am I ready? I don't think I'll ever be, but there's no choice now.
All I ask, I suppose, is the thoughts and prays of those around me to keep going and keep sane during this very turbulent point in my life.
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