「我是兩位大人的同鄉，因為聽聞過二位大人的故事，所以極為感動，今日特意在此等候，只為敬二位大人一壺清酒，廖表心中敬意~”
陰陽先生的這句話說進了兩兄弟的心坎裡，它們之所以會成為陰差，確實有過一段感人肺腑的經歷。
黑白無常
傳說黑無常名叫範無咎，白無常名叫謝必安，兩人都是福建閩縣人（今福州長樂）。
他們兩個從小就是好朋友，友誼深厚、情同手足。
有一天兩人相約遊玩，走到福州南台橋下時，突然下起了雨。
謝必安就讓範無咎原地等候，自己回家拿傘，再回來接他。
沒想到謝必安走後，雨下得更大了，河水也隨之暴漲。
範無咎天生身材矮小，但又不想失約，就一直站在原地等候謝必安回來，不幸被無情的洪水淹沒。
等到謝必安拿了雨傘趕來，發現範無咎已被淹死。
謝必安傷心欲絕，覺得是自己害死了兄弟，於是就在橋樑上上吊自盡，與範無咎共赴黃泉。
不論人世還是陰間，他們都要做最好的兄弟。
閻王爺嘉勳其信義深重，命他們在城隍爺前捉拿不法之徒。
有人說，謝必安，就是酬謝神明則必安；
範無咎（救），就是犯法的人無救。
謝範二人來到閻王殿後，閻王感其情深義重，遂封二人為黑白無常。
兩兄弟雖然已經變成了民間的神（qí），但卻對之前的事情念念不忘。
對於它們而言，彼此心中都有一個疙瘩，久久不能平復。
兩人都認為是因為自己的過錯，造就了對方的死亡。
謝必安認為，如果自己當時回來的快一點，早一點與兄弟團聚，兄弟就不會被淹死。
而範無咎卻認為，如果不是因為自己個頭矮小，兄弟也不會上吊自盡，落得個脖長舌頭長的淒慘下場。
眼下，陰陽先生再一次提到往事，況且又和它們是同鄉，所以就放下了戒心，與陰陽先生聊得甚是火熱。
它們吃掉了酒肉後，欲要離開，卻感覺大腦一陣眩暈，分不清東南西北。
並不是因為黑白無常的酒量太小，而是因為陰陽先生在清酒之中加入了蒙汗藥，所以它們才會出現這樣的情況。
儘管如此，黑白無常依舊沒有忘記自己的使命，它們無論如何都要找到女子的屍體，並將她的魂魄給勾回陰界之中。
陰陽先生拿出事先準備好的泥巴狗，在上面貼上一張陰人符，丟進了冰冷的河水之中。
這陰人符上面有女子三根帶有毛囊的頭髮，加上特殊的符咒加持，所以會散發出與女子一樣的氣息。
就這樣，迷迷糊糊的黑白無常就勾起黑狗的魂魄回陰界復命去了。
回去後，閻羅王發現它們兄弟二人竟然帶了一隻狗回來，很是生氣，但是看在兩兄弟兢兢業業的面子上，便選擇原諒了它們，而那陰陽先生也終於不再打光棍，與 那女子走到了一起，從此以後，過了沒羞沒臊的日子。
我現在的手中的陰人符也是如此，上面有兩根村醫的腋毛，我將它貼在裹有泥巴的滷肉上，也能散發出與村醫一模一樣的氣味。
很多朋友應該會問了，那陰陽先生用的是女子帶有毛囊的頭髮，為何我這麼重口味，用帶有毛囊的腋毛呢？
其實我也不想這樣做，奈何那村醫是個禿頭的光頭，頭上一根毛都沒有，我又不能用其他地方的毛髮，只好用腋毛代替。
這腋毛很是粗壯，味道十足，效果不比頭髮差。
我費了好大的力氣才將領頭的鬼差拍醒。
“啊？兄~~弟~怎麼~有啥事嗎？”
帶頭的鬼差還是暈頭轉向的，話都說不囫圇。
「時辰到了，你們該回去交差了！」
「啊？交~差？交他娘的什麼差？工資都~都~拖了半個月了~還沒~還沒五險一金~老子~老子早他娘的~~不想乾了~”
得，這些鬼差酒後吐真言，鬧了半天是一幫被拖欠工資的農民工，而且沒有五險一金，早就有辭職不干的打算了。
這不是碰巧了嗎，它們要是帶著一堆鹵肉回去復命，願望肯定會被閻王爺當場兌現~~
我勸領頭的鬼差，做事要有始有終，就算是辭職不干了，也得完美的完成任務，總不能讓別人瞧不起自己不是？
“嗯~有道理~兄弟~還~還~還是你~還是你靠譜~~嗝兒~”
帶頭的鬼差暈暈乎乎的站起了身，將所有的小弟們叫了起來，十幾隻鬼差跟丟了魂的蝦米似的，軟趴趴的，像極了植物大戰殭屍裡面的 殭屍~~
“老弟~我們~我們走了~謝謝~謝謝款待！下次~下次哥哥們請你！”
它們果然不負眾望，帶著貼有陰人符的滷肉回去復命去了。
「下次？恐怕永遠不會有下次了，祝你們好運~~”
我沒有管診所裡面的事物，反正天亮後都是要將其推倒的，裡面的殘局收不收拾也沒有什麼意義了。
我背著雇主回了家，剛推開家門，就看見兩個熟悉的人躺在地上，口吐白沫，臉腫的跟河馬似的~~
老爺的魂魄也蹲在大兒子身邊，臉上的表情一言難盡~
我看了半天也看不出老爺子的心裡想法，它似乎很是心疼大兒子，但又有種忍不住想笑出來的感覺~~
至於旁邊的那個道士嘛，也好不到哪裡去，他已經昏迷了。
「小師傅回來了？你看他們這樣，可咋整？”
「老爺子，你不用擔心了，這裡的事情儘管交給我去處理就行了~”
我把雇主放回屋裡的床上，接著走到院子。
昏迷的道士情況不容樂觀，他的三魂七魄已經所剩無幾了，就算是我現在幫他解了身上的毒，也會變成癡傻的模樣，一輩子都不會醒過來。
善惡到頭終有報，他走到今天這一步，完全是咎由自取的。
我為他解開了身上的劇毒，應該在天亮前，就會醒過來。
隨後我又走到賭客的身邊，發現他七魄中的靈慧、氣、力、中樞以及精魄都已經完全消散了！
三魂七魄只剩下三魂兩魄，往後餘生徹底與賭桌無緣了，不出意外的話，他會變成沒有任何心機、徹頭徹尾的老實人了。
“可能這樣才是最好的結局吧~”
有些事情是命中註定的，你做了多大的惡，就要承受多大的痛楚。
只要是人，就逃不過這個自然法則！
但行好事莫問前程，是你我都要做的事。
"I am from the same hometown as the two adults. I am very moved because I have heard the stories of the two adults. I am waiting here today just to offer a pot of sake to the two adults. Liaobiao's respect~"
The words of Mr. Yin Yang touched the hearts of the two brothers. The reason why they became Yincha was indeed a touching experience.
Black and White Impermanence
Legend has it that the Black Impermanence was named Fan Wujiu and the White Impermanence was named Xie Bian. Both of them were from Min County, Fujian (now Changle, Fuzhou).
They have been good friends since childhood, with a deep friendship and brotherly love.
One day, the two made an appointment to play, and when they walked under the Nantai Bridge in Fuzhou, it suddenly rained.
Xie Bian asked Fan Wujiu to wait there, and he went home to get an umbrella and came back to pick him up.
Unexpectedly, after Xie Bian left, the rain fell even harder, and the river water surged.
Fan Wujiu was born short, but he didn't want to break his promise, so he stood there waiting for Xie Bian to come back, but unfortunately he was submerged by the ruthless flood.
When Xie Bian arrived with an umbrella, he found that Fan Wujiu had been drowned.
Xie Bian was heartbroken and felt that he had killed his brother, so he hanged himself on the bridge and went to the underworld with Fan Wujiu.
Whether in the world or in the underworld, they would be the best brothers.
The King of Hell praised their deep faith and ordered them to arrest the lawbreakers in front of the City God.
Some people say that Xie Bian means that if you repay the gods, you will be safe;
Fan Wujiu (Jiu) means that there is no salvation for those who break the law.
After Xie and Fan came to the King of Hell, the King of Hell was moved by their deep feelings and loyalty, so he named them Black and White Impermanence.
Although the two brothers have become folk gods (qí), they still remember what happened before.
For them, there is a knot in each other's heart that cannot be calmed for a long time.
Both of them think that it is because of their own fault that caused the death of the other.
Xie Bian believes that if he had come back faster and reunited with his brother earlier, his brother would not have been drowned.
However, Fan Wujiu thought that if it were not for his short stature, his brother would not have hanged himself and ended up with a long neck and a long tongue.
At this moment, Mr. Yin Yang mentioned the past again, and they were from the same hometown, so they let down their guard and chatted with Mr. Yin Yang very enthusiastically.
After they ate the wine and meat, they wanted to leave, but they felt dizzy and could not tell the directions.
It was not because the Black and White Impermanence had a small alcohol tolerance, but because Mr. Yin Yang added knockout drugs to the sake, so they had such a situation.
Despite this, Black and White Impermanence still did not forget their mission. They had to find the woman's body and hook her soul back to the underworld anyway.
Mr. Yin Yang took out the mud dog he had prepared in advance, pasted a Yinren Talisman on it, and threw it into the cold river.
The Yinren Talisman had three hairs with hair follicles of the woman on it, and with the blessing of a special talisman, it would emit the same breath as the woman.
In this way, the confused Black and White Impermanence hooked the black dog's soul back to the underworld to report.
After returning, King Yama found out that the two brothers had brought back a dog, and was very angry. However, considering the brothers' hard work, he chose to forgive them. The Yin-Yang master finally stopped being a bachelor and got together with the woman. From then on, he lived a shameless life.
The same is true for the Yinren Talisman in my hand now. There are two armpit hairs of the village doctor on it. I stick it on the stewed meat wrapped in mud, and it can also emit the same smell as the village doctor.
Many friends may ask, the Yin-Yang master uses the hair with hair follicles of women, why do I use armpit hair with hair follicles so heavily?
In fact, I don’t want to do this, but the village doctor is a bald head with no hair on his head, and I can’t use hair from other places, so I have to use armpit hair instead.
This armpit hair is very thick and full of smell, and the effect is no worse than hair.
It took me a lot of effort to wake up the leading ghost.
"Ah? Brother~~what's wrong?"
The leading ghost was still dizzy and couldn't speak coherently.
"It's time, you should go back and report!"
"Ah? Report? What the hell? My salary has been delayed for half a month, and I still haven't received the five social insurances and one housing fund. I've already given up on this job."
Well, these ghost messengers are talking the truth after drinking. They are a bunch of migrant workers who have been owed wages, and they have no social insurances and one housing fund, so they have long planned to quit.
Isn't this a coincidence? If they go back with a bunch of braised meat, their wish will definitely be fulfilled by the King of Hell on the spot~~
I advise the leading ghost messenger to do things from beginning to end. Even if you quit, you have to complete the task perfectly. You can't let others look down on you, right?
"Yeah~ That makes sense~ Brother~ Still~ Still~ You~ You are still reliable~~ Hiccup~"
The leading ghost officer stood up dazedly and called all the younger brothers. More than a dozen ghost officers were like shrimps that had lost their souls, limp, just like the zombies in Plants vs. Zombies~~
"Brother~ We~ We are leaving~ Thank you~ Thank you for the hospitality! Next time~ Next time, brothers will treat you!"
They really lived up to everyone's expectations and went back to report with the braised meat with the Yinren Talisman.
"Next time? I'm afraid there will never be a next time, I wish you good luck~~"
I didn't care about the things in the clinic. Anyway, it would be demolished after dawn, and it didn't matter whether the mess inside was cleaned up or not.
I carried my employer home. As soon as I opened the door, I saw two familiar people lying on the ground, foaming at the mouth, with faces swollen like hippos~~
The old man's soul was also squatting beside his eldest son, with an expression on his face that was hard to describe~
I looked at him for a long time but couldn't tell what the old man was thinking. He seemed to feel sorry for his eldest son, but he couldn't help but laugh~~
As for the Taoist priest next to him, he was not much better. He was already unconscious.
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJOlEeJ4ht
"The young master is back? What can we do with them?"
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5dJePFEgw
"Old man, don't worry. Just let me handle the things here~"
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnodBhy5Unp
I put my employer back on the bed in the room and then walked to the yard.
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HlfrWoWOR
The situation of the unconscious Taoist priest is not optimistic. His three souls and seven spirits are almost gone. Even if I help him detoxify his body now, he will become stupid and will never wake up in his life.
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoSaiV7L8K
Good and evil will be rewarded in the end. He has come to this point today, which is entirely his own fault.
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18LllV3fAy
I removed the poison from his body, and he should wake up before dawn.
Then I walked to the gambler's side and found that his spiritual wisdom, qi, strength, center and spirit in his seven souls had completely dissipated!
Only three souls and two spirits were left out of the three souls and seven spirits. He will never be at the gambling table for the rest of his life. If nothing unexpected happens, he will become a completely honest man without any schemes.
"Maybe this is the best ending~"
Some things are destined. The more evil you do, the more pain you have to endure.
As long as you are a human, you can't escape this natural law!
But do good things without asking about the future, it is what you and I should do.
ns 15.158.61.13da2
