我一眼就看出來它們不是人，雕蟲小技竟在我面前班門弄斧！
I could tell at a glance that they weren't human, attempting their pitiful tricks before me was like showing off their skills to a master.
但我現在被女鬼束手束腳，沒辦法行動，只能擠在「人群」中與他們一同等待好戲開場！ 這些鬼物形態各異，缺胳膊少腿的情況比比皆是，十個鬼物都湊不出一個完整的鬼出來。
But now, with the female ghost binding my hands and feet, I couldn't move. I could only squeeze into the "crowd" and wait with them for the show to begin! These ghosts had all sorts of shapes, with missing arms and legs being quite common. Ten of them couldn't even make up a complete ghost.
更有甚者還沒有腦袋，它也頂著個碗一樣的疤痢圍在戲台前，不清楚連腦袋都沒有的它為何會有如此閒情雅緻，搞得跟能聽得見似的。
What's more, some didn't even have heads. One, looking like it had a bowl for a head, was hanging around the stage, although it wasn't clear why a headless creature like that would act so leisurely, as if it could hear.
「哐哐~~」
Bang bang
兩聲鑼聲傳了出來，一隻兔子手裡拿著破鑼從後台鑽了出來。 「各位鄉親父老，本場好戲馬上開始，有錢的摔個錢場，沒錢的捧個人場，感謝各位了！」 真是見鬼了，不知道是這兔子成了精，還是我見識少， 連兔子都能開口說話，果然在鬼的世界裡，一切都有可能發生。 不曉得等會兒上台的戲子是什麼樣的存在。
Two gongs sounded, and a rabbit emerged from backstage holding a broken gong. "Ladies and gentlemen, the show is about to begin. Those with money can make a scene, those without can applaud. Thank you all!" It was unbelievable. I didn't know if this rabbit had become enlightened or if I was just ignorant. Even a rabbit could speak. Indeed, in the world of ghosts, anything was possible. I wondered what kind of performers would take the stage later.
隨著梆子、二胡等樂器響起，一隻妖嬈的大象踩著高蹺站在台上，直接一個空翻驚艷全場！
As the sound of clappers, erhus, and other instruments filled the air, a graceful elephant on stilts appeared on stage, stunning the audience with a somersault.
隨後，大象穩穩地落在一條比頭發還細的繩子上，看了一眼台下的我，臉上頓時紅了起來。 也許是大像看到如此英俊的我，有些害羞吧。 乖乖。 這畫面實屬精彩絕倫！
The elephant then landed steadily on a rope as thin as a strand of hair and glanced at me in the audience, its face blushing instantly. Perhaps the elephant felt a bit shy upon seeing someone as handsome as me. How adorable. The scene was truly spectacular!
大像在戲台上沒有太久的時間，就退了下去。 緊接著上台的是一群體型健碩的肥豬，飄飄然地跳起了鋼管舞！ 我表示很是驚異，說實話，長了這麼大頭一次開了眼界，此生能看到如此表演，也算沒有白活一場！
The elephant didn't stay on stage for too long before stepping down. Next up were a group of muscular pigs who gracefully performed pole dancing! I was truly amazed. Honestly, I had never seen anything like this before in my life, and witnessing such a performance made my existence worthwhile.
「好！太棒了！」
"Wow! That's amazing!"
由於節目很精彩，我看得入了迷，竟然發出喝彩之聲，還鼓起了掌，這樣的行為差點把我害死！
Because the performance was so captivating, I got carried away and cheered, even applauding, which almost got me killed!
台上唱戲的停了下來，所有的鬼物也都朝我紛紛看來，臉色極為難看，唯獨那女鬼卻開心壞了，這個時候我才明白女鬼真正的目的，它之所以把我引 到此處，就是想讓我成為這裡的一員！ 這歹毒的女鬼，竟然要取我性命！
The performers on stage stopped singing, and all the creatures turned to look at me, their expressions extremely displeased. Only the female ghost seemed delighted. It was then that I realized the true intention of the female ghost. It had brought me here to make me one of them! This wicked female ghost actually wanted to take my life!
我與它往日無怨近來無仇；為何要如此加害於我？ 莫非是垂江我的身子不成？
We had no grudges in the past; why did it want to harm me like this? Could it be because of my good looks?
我粗略的估算了一下，這裡看戲的鬼足有上百隻之多，它們全部凶神惡煞地望著我，以我目前的這種狀態，是斷然逃不掉的！
I quickly estimated that there were over a hundred ghosts watching the show, all glaring at me with malicious intent. In my current state, there was no way I could escape!56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cb41EsM1x
「留下來留下來」
"Stay... stay..."
「好俊俏的小生，我很喜歡，留下來做我丈夫如何~~」一個八十多歲的老太太哈喇子流了一地，看來是寂寞許久了！
"What a handsome young man. I like you. Stay and be my husband," exclaimed an old lady in her eighties, drooling all over the place. It seems she had been lonely for too long!
去你奶奶的！ 你不是天邊最美的雲彩，老子憑啥要留下來？ 再說了，我的一世清白怎麼可能會毀在這裡？ 一大把年紀了，還不嫌害滕！
"Forget it! You're not the most beautiful cloud in the sky. Why should I stay? Besides, how could I tarnish my integrity here? I'm not going to fall for it at my age!"
我努力晃動身體，卻依舊動彈不得！
I tried to move my body, but I still couldn't budge!
這女鬼是真的狗，剛才我看戲入迷之時，它料定我會鼓掌喝彩，所以解開了我的束縛，現在它的目的已經達到了，又開始對我進行了控制！
This female ghost was cunning. It knew I would get carried away during the show, so it untied me from its control. Now that it had achieved its goal, it started controlling me again!
「王楠，你小子怎麼會在這裡？趕緊回去！」
"Wang Nan, what are you doing here? Go back now!"
一個老者的聲音傳了過來，這聲音很是熟悉！
A familiar voice echoed nearby—it was unmistakably familiar!
一個老頭兒出現在我的眼前，讓我眼前一亮，這不是村裡的王老頭嗎？ 可是他已經過世五、六年了，怎麼會出現在這裡？
An old man appeared before me, instantly brightening my eyes. Wasn't this Mr. Wang from the village? But he had passed away five or six years ago. How could he be here?
「王楠，我死後不小心把身分證戶口本弄丟了，就被陰差陽錯地分到這破地方了，你以後可千萬別像我一樣丟三落四的。還有，你趕緊走！ 替我向你父親問好！
"Wang Nan, after I died, I carelessly lost my ID and household registration booklet, and ended up here by mistake. Don't make the same absent-minded mistakes as I did. Also, you need to hurry and leave! Say hello to your father for me!"
這王老頭兒活著的時候就特別仗義，與我家關係很深，沒曾想到，死後也是如此性格，這讓我很感動。
Mr. Wang was always righteous when he was alive and had a deep connection with my family. I never expected him to remain so even after death. It touched me deeply.
王老頭兒用力推了我一把，隨後扭身朝著那女鬼的臉上撒了一泡尿。 別說，王老頭兒別看歲數大，尿量著實不小，滋的女鬼無處躲藏。
Mr. Wang gave me a strong push, then turned around and aimed a stream of urine at the face of the female ghost. Believe it or not, despite his old age, Mr. Wang had quite a bladder capacity, and the ghost had nowhere to hide from it.
我的身體也恢復了自由，忙咬破食指，將童血塗抹在額頭之上，防止邪氣侵入我的體內。
With my body now free, I quickly bit my finger and smeared the blood on my forehead to prevent evil spirits from invading my body.
"王楠，朝著北面跑，不出十分鐘就能出這鬼地方！另外，我拜託你一件事，你回去後記得給我燒兩個娘們過來，要年輕漂亮身材好的！"
"Wang Nan, run northward, and you'll be out of this ghostly place in less than ten minutes! Also, I have a favor to ask. When you go back, remember to bring me two young and beautiful women—good figures!"
"得嘲，王大爺，你多保重！"
"Alright, Mr. Wang, take care!"
這王大爺看來孤獨太久時間了，竟然提出瞭如此要求。 人家救我一命，我當然要滿足他的心願。 別說讓我給他燒兩個娘們過來了，就算燒二十個二百個又當如何？
It seemed that Mr. Wang had been lonely for too long, as he unexpectedly made such a request. Since he saved my life, I was obliged to fulfill his wish. Even if it meant bringing him not just two, but twenty or two hundred women?
我一路向北，離開有他們的季節，跟瘋了似的，埋頭奔跑。 果然如王大爺說的那樣，不出十分鐘我就返回陽間了！
I ran northward like a madman, desperate to leave that place behind. True to Mr. Wang's words, I returned to the mortal world in less than ten minutes!
看到無比熟悉的村子後，我心裡的石頭算落了地了。 因為自己的一時大意差點丟掉性命，我追悔莫及，所以回去的路上我格外小心謹慎。
Seeing the familiar village ahead, I felt a huge weight lifted off my chest. Regretting my momentary carelessness that nearly cost me my life, I proceeded back home with extreme caution.
回到家裡後，我倒頭就睡，一覺睡到了第二天下午！ 醒來後，我發現父親回來了。 在得知我昨天跟著一群盜墓賊出去後，他氣不打一處來，狠狠地揍了我一頓！
Back home, I collapsed into bed and slept through until the following afternoon! When I woke up, I found my father had returned. Upon learning that I had gone out with a group of tomb raiders yesterday, he was furious and gave me a severe beating!
我覺得非常委屈。 都說有錢不掙是傻蛋，再加上對方給的價格那麼高，我為了讓家裡的生活富裕一點，況而走險有什麼錯？
I felt extremely wronged. They say it's foolish not to make money when the opportunity arises. Moreover, considering the high price offered by the other party, what's wrong with taking a risk to improve our family's living conditions?
父親見我不知悔改，就將我關了起來。 什麼時候意識到自己的錯誤了，什麼時候放我出來。我是個立場堅定的人，絕對不會屈服於任何淫威！
Seeing I showed no remorse, my father locked me up. He said he would release me when I realized my mistake. I'm a person of firm conviction and will never succumb to any coercion!
在得知父親要把我關起來的時候，我雙膝撲通跪在地上：「爹地，人家知道錯了嘛，再給人家一個機會如何？」
Upon hearing that my father was going to lock me up, I fell to my knees: "Daddy, I know I was wrong. Can you give me another chance?
都說撒嬌的人都好命，這句話 不完全正確，要看性別和樣貌的。 很顯然，這種方式不適合我這麼帥的小伙子。
They say people who act cute are blessed, but that's not entirely true. It depends on gender and appearance. Obviously, this approach doesn't suit a handsome guy like me.
父親見我態度如此，又把我狠狠地揍了一頓，邊打邊說：“讓你小子噁心我！老子活了這麼大，第一次見這麼噁心的小孩！噁心~~”
Father, seeing me behave like this, gave me another beating, saying as he hit, "You little brat disgust me! After all these years, this is the first time I've seen such a disgusting kid! So repulsive~~"
這頓打挨得很憋屈，我認為有什麼樣的父親就會有什麼樣的兒子，我之所以這樣，不完全是自己的責任。
I felt really oppressed by this beating. I believe that the kind of father you have determines the kind of son you become. My behavior isn't entirely my fault.
為了轉移父親的注意力，我將女鬼的事情也說了出去，並且為了烘托氣氛，還添油加醋了很多劇情，聽的父親是一愣一愣的。
To divert my father's attention, I told him about the female ghost incident, embellishing the story to make it more dramatic. He listened with a puzzled expression.
我告訴父親，家裡有個貌美如花的女鬼，應該是貪戀我的美色，想與我成親；就把我引到了只有鬼怪生活的村子裡，還看了很多精彩的表演，目的就是為了 把我留下，與我共度餘生。
I told him about the beautiful female ghost at home, who must have been attracted to my good looks and wanted to marry me. She led me to a village inhabited only by ghosts and we watched many spectacular performances, all to convince me to stay and spend the rest of my life with her.
父親眉頭緊鎖，不斷地在我身上打量著，嘴裡還念念有詞：“怪了，長成這副熊樣還會有女鬼喜歡？我看那女鬼一定是眼神不好吧？”
Father frowned, scrutinizing me, and muttered, "Strange, looking like a bear and still attracting female ghosts? Maybe that ghost has bad eyesight?"
我斷定，眼前這個男人有可能不是我的親生父親，搞不好，我是從垃圾桶裡撿回來的孤兒；哪有親生父親如此說自己的兒子的？ 我要真的長了個熊樣，也跟我沒啥關係，主要還是遺傳的好。
I concluded that the man in front of me might not be my real father. Perhaps I was an orphan picked up from the trash. What real father would say such things about his own son? Even if I did look like a bear, it wasn't entirely my fault. It's mainly due to good genes.
儘管父親說的話的確有那麼幾分道理。我還把王老頭要娘們的事說了出來，父親聽後才平息了心中的怒火，哈哈大笑起來。
Although my father's words made some sense, I also told him about Wang Lao Tou's request for women. After hearing this, my father calmed down and laughed heartily.
“哈哈，這老不正經的傢伙，成，看你救我兒子一命的份上，就遂了你的心願！”
"Haha, this old rascal! Alright, considering you saved my son's life, I'll grant your wish!"
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